Preview:
Lana Rush: If you are hurting, invite someone over to eat. If you are depressed, invite someone over to eat. If you are having trouble with your children, invite someone over to eat. The table is built for community. We are built for community. And I think that if we are willing to take that leap and do that thing that we think is so hard, we’re gonna get exactly what we need.
End of Preview
John Fuller: That’s Lana Rush and she and her husband Ryan are here today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly talking about how to have meaningful mealtimes. Thanks for joining us. I’m John Fuller.
Jim Daly: John, I know today’s conversation is going to apply to everybody because it’s so core to what families do, sitting around a table eating together. And man, I want to say it again because it’s important for me to compliment my wife. Jean did a fantastic job bringing us together. And not just five nights a week, which is what our guests are gonna say, but I mean, it was seven nights a week when we had dinner together. It was rare, only when I’m traveling out of town that we wouldn’t eat together and we still hold that today.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: I mean, Trent comes over and Trent, Troy, Jean and I have a great Sunday meal together. He has been great to keep that going. And it’s so much fun to sit and talk for an hour, hour and a half-
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … we sit at the dinner table. So what our guests are going to talk about today, I fully endorse because there’s so many good things that get transferred in that dinner time, both directions, from our kids to us as parents and from parents to kids.
John: Yeah. And there are a lot of practical ideas along the way here today. Uh, Ryan Rush is a pastor and has a PhD in Christian leadership and, uh, he and Lana have three daughters. Uh, Ryan has a book called Restore the Table: Discovering the Powerful Connections of Meaningful Mealtimes. You can learn more about our guests and that book at our website, uh, that’s focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
Jim: Welcome to both of you. Thanks for being with us.
Ryan Rush: Honored to be with you.
Lana: Thank you.
Jim: I’m, uh, I’m curious now. I d- I don’t want to start a fight-
Ryan: Uh-oh.
Jim: … but who came up with this idea that mealtime is really important?
Ryan: That’s a good question. I wrote the book, but she’s the cook in the family.
Jim: (laughs)
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: … by and large. And when I say by and large, I mean really by and large. I do the eggs-
Jim: (laughs)
Ryan: … and-
Jim: You’re the breakfast guy?
Ryan: I’m the breakfast guy.
Jim: I’m the breakfast guy. Yeah, man. I’d give you a high five.
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: If we were closer, yeah.
Jim: Dinner, maybe twice in my life.
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: Right. And you were bragging on your wife a little while ago. Listen, Lana was the one that really was the ringleader that brought us around the table for many years and sort of instigated the idea that now has, uh, really gone beyond our church.
Jim: Lana, do you think that was something you learned or was it something spiritually you said, “I think mealtime’s important”?
Lana: I think I grew up knowing that it was important.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Lana: My parents both worked the bulk of my life, but we still ate at the dinner table every night. And so, I just feel like it was more of a tradition, probably, that I expected that, that was something that I would continue in my family, but we have definitely seen some spiritual growth because of that.
Jim: Yeah. We’re going to talk about, you know, the importance of it statistically, what comes about with families who eat together. That’s pretty impressive. But, you know, stripping all that back, it’s amazing that the Lord created us the way He did. That we need to eat, right? (laughs)
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: Right, right.
Jim: And then the way He demonstrated what to do around a dinner table, around a supper table. I mean, obviously there’s some big things that He did and we know as Christians, many of those things. But j- speak generally that combination of being human, created in His image, and then sitting and feasting together and what is happening that goes well beyond the great food that we might enjoy?
Ryan: Isn’t it interesting that you can go anywhere in the world and there’s this shared value of joining at the table. Now, we know we have to have food to survive, but dining together matters and it has throughout history. We seem to be the fo- first culture that’s sort of forgetting that, but there’s a sense where if we don’t have food, we don’t live. We need it to survive and we identify with what we take in. So, it’s the old saying, you are what you eat, right?
Jim: Yeah.
Ryan: And so, so it, it matters in that way. So we have this bond that takes place that’s forged around the table. And, of course, science is catching up with that. Jim, you, you mentioned that, uh, study after study is now showing that those families who will eat together on a regular basis find significant markers kind of across the board for families, for their children, uh, that are making a big difference. And what a surprise that science is just now catching up with what God said all along.
Jim: Oh, it’s so true.
Ryan: Yeah.
Jim: You know, one thing, I’ve been able to travel, you know, around the world in the Middle East, both in Israel and, uh, you know, in the other countries around the Middle East, man, the meal time is significant. And especially, uh, you know, for those in Arabic-speaking countries. I mean, they put it out. You go and they really put on a meal. I remember going with just a couple of people to someone’s home and, man, it, it was enough to feed, like, 40 people.
Ryan: (laughs)
Lana: Yes, yes.
Jim: And it’s just like two of us. And they just overindulged in that, in that fair and that spread, but it, it’s to communicate, “We, we care about you.”
Lana: Right, right.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Lana: “We love you. You’re, you’re important to us and we’re glad you’re here.”
Jim: Yeah.
Lana: And there’s so much that we underestimate that food communicates. And sitting down at the table and taking that time out of our busy schedule to spend some time getting to know you over a meal.
Jim: Yeah. Now, Ryan, uh, the church application being a pastor-
Ryan: Right.
Jim: … you challenged your church-
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … to do this.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Okay. What was the challenge and how many people responded?
Ryan: Well, I get up early in the morning thinking about family, like everybody around this table, uh, and how we can connect our faith with our home lives in inten- in intentional ways. I was a fairly new pastor at Kingsland, where I pastor now, been there 10 years.
Jim: In Houston?
Ryan: In Houston. I’d come from Austin, a church we loved, and God called us to the Houston area. And I wanted something to get us started, sort of a catalyst to help people think more about the home being the primary place of discipleship. And honestly, I thought the family table might be a good start that everybody could do. I didn’t know that it would have that great of a consequence, but at least it was something that could get a win, right? Everybody needs to eat and why not eat together? What we found, however, was that had these major ripple effects all through the families. Marriages were strengthened. Kids started communicating with their parents in ways they hadn’t in a long time. Families started realizing how long it had been since they turned the television off and actually had a conversation. And those ramifications lasted a lot longer than the challenge itself.
Jim: Yeah. I mean, it’s so true and you see that. Um, and people responded. So people started to-
Ryan: Yes.
Jim: … do it and it had an impact-
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … like you said. You know, so often one of the difficulties is pace of life. And we can often lean on that as too much of an excuse. You know, I’m really busy, kids are really busy, they do club sports. You know how hard-
Lana: Yes.
Jim: … that is.
Lana: (laughs)
Jim: You know? Whatever it’s going to be. But parents, if you really want to transfer values, have a relationship with your kids, the mealtime is really it. That is the most important time, certainly going to church, but that’s got stress related to it as well. Sitting around laughing together, telling stories together around a table is so critically important.
Lana: Right.
Ryan: Mm-hmm. Lana, you did a really good job of, of getting creative, like, bringing us back to the table in a minister’s home where we were scattered and moving and had all sorts of challenges. So we ate the meals in a lot of different places in a lot of different ways.
Lana: I think sometimes families make it too complicated-
Jim: Right.
Lana: … today. You are busy, we are all busy. And so, it’s okay to have, you know, take out pizza at the dinner table. Um, we have said that it’s okay to pop the back of your suburban and eat, you know, Chick-fil-A outside while you’re waiting for the ball game to start.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Lana: Or your practice to start or whatever. You can take the food where you need to be. You don’t have to necessarily sit at an actual table. But be together-
Jim: Yeah.
Lana: … around a simple meal is fine. Sandwiches. Don’t make it hard. It doesn’t have to be an event.
Jim: Well, part of that busyness, I’m thinking of single parents, whether they’re single parent moms or single parent dads, which is on the rise, more dads are raising-
Lana: Yes.
Jim: … the kids. But man, they are, they are really busy and I don’t want to heap any guilt onto-
Lana: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … an already guilt-laden life, right?
Lana: Right.
Jim: For all kinds of reasons. But even the importance for single parents to do this well, because the benefits are still there.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Connection, relationship, et cetera. So how do you coach the single parents in your church to do this when, you know-
Ryan: Right.
Jim: … I’m really busy?
Ryan: Well, one of the challenges we’ve given to our families at church is for the families who have both parents at home intact to step up. So we’ve had some really wonderful meals with some of our single mothers and single parents in our church, where we got a chance to speak into the lives of their children as they were growing up around the table. I share a little bit of that in the book, but those are meaningful times that are really special to us now that those kids are grown.
Jim: Well, what a great ministry within your church.
Ryan: Sure.
Jim: You know, to be able to invite single parents and their kids over for dinner and-
Lana: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … vice versa and, you know, that connects you.
Ryan: And a ministry to which anybody can engage.
Jim: (laughs)
Ryan: You’re inviting them to dinner. I mean-
Jim: It’s eating.
Ryan: … you’re volunteering to eat.
Lana: (laughs)
Jim: That’s so true.
John: (laughs)
Jim: Here’s the tricky part, how to make mealtimes meaningful and fun and, you know, sometimes you just eat and run. But do you have to go in with a plan or what are you kind of generally doing to make sure that this is significant?
Lana: I think for me I think the plan sometimes gets in the way of some genuine conversation.
Jim: I totally agree.
Lana: I was a, I was a teacher before. And so I love a good lesson plan and I want to follow it to the tee. I want to have the supplies gathered and stuff. And sometimes that will completely distract me from actually, what are we here to do? And that is to have some conversation. So again, it’s making something that is not that complicated, too complicated when you follow this specific plan. I love to just have a question. When our girls were growing up, we had a jar of questions. We’d pull one out of the jar. You know, “What was the best thing that happened today?”
Jim: I’m smiling because that’s exactly what Jean did.
Lana: Yes. It’s-
Jim: We had a little book she referred to.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Lana: Yes.
Jim: And we had questions for preschoolers, elementary schools, junior high and high school.
Lana: Right.
Ryan: Yeah.
Lana: And it doesn’t have to start off with this super spiritual biblical lesson. You know, we’re going to sit at the table and it’s going to be really serious. You want it to be fun. You want it to be a place that your kids want to come and engage with you. So sometimes the simpler you-
Ryan: Yeah.
Lana: … start, the better it is.
Jim: Yeah. Maybe keep it there. You know, in today’s social media world, this can be, you know, more of a projection of not your life, meaning you project as perfection. You got this great-
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … meal set and the kids are all there in their bows and everything else.
Lana: (laughs) right.
Jim: Um, that’s not real.
Lana: Mm-mm. No.
Jim: Um, how do we make it more real for families? You’re not doing it for somebody else, you know, putting on a show?
Ryan: Right. This was especially challenging as a pastor. So-
Jim: Why?
Ryan: B- because-
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: … when we came to the table and we tried to do the family devotions-
Jim: Oh, yeah.
Ryan: … you know, family altar, things of that idea, it always came across as contrived.
Jim: Yeah.
Ryan: Our girls would look at us and just say-
Jim: (laughs)
Ryan: And I remember Reagan was five one time and we’re going through a lesson and she knew by then that I like-
Jim: At five.
Ryan: … to grab little-
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: … to grab little snippets and use them in the sermon.
Jim: Yeah.
Ryan: So, I’m halfway through-
Jim: (laughs)
Ryan: … and she just says, “Dad, if you don’t know what to say, maybe they should just get somebody else to preach.”
John: Ooh.
Lana: (laughs)
Jim: Oh, she said that? (laughs)
Ryan: (laughs) Yeah.
Jim: At five?
Ryan: Yeah. She’s 27 now.
John: Oh, my word.
Ryan: She still has that same personality.
Jim: Well, you had your hands full from the get-go.
Ryan: I’m telling you.
John: (laughs)
Ryan: So, so the whole lesson plan thing just came across as a little bit stilted for us.
John: (laughs)
Ryan: Whereas when we had the stack of books at the end of the table, a lot of focus on the family materials, you know? Back in the day, remember sticky situation.
Jim: Oh, yeah.
Ryan: So we grabbed the, you know, the scenario. You’re at school and a kid wants to copy off your homework. What are you gonna do? That’s all we needed. And then it led to the opportunity to talk about some deeper things.
Jim: Lana, let me ask you as a mom, because I think moms tend to struggle with this a bit more. You want that significant time. I, I know for Jean and I, she was very, you know, she’s a very, uh, task-oriented science-minded person. So she was thinking, you know, we do 30 minute devotions and I’m kind of expanding on this a little bit for humor. But, like, five minutes of song, 10 minutes of teaching, five minutes of discussion, and then we’ll end with prayer. You know, to where she felt that it was meaningful. Whereas having boys, it was action. You know, you need to talk about Godly things on the move out playing in the yard or whatever it might be. And I think the question as a mom, and you have three girls-
Ryan: Right.
Jim: Um, you know, where do you find that balance of something a little more formal, like you said, at the dinner table or something a little loose and then being comfortable with it and saying, “You know what, as long as we’re talking about the Lord and expressing Godly things. That’s the goal.”
Lana: Yes, I think I found that the more I tried to follow a set plan that I had, you know, put together at the table, the more it came across as artificial or inauthentic. I can have a plan, but I also need to pay attention to how my kids are responding to that plan. If I am looking at my watch and saying, “Okay, it’s time to transition to, you know, the Bible question or whatever,” then I am not really paying attention and I’m not really engaging at the table with them and they can tell. And so my girls really liked to be asked questions, like Ryan mentioned, with the scenarios or things like that, that gave them an opportunity to be heard.
Jim: Yeah.
Lana: They wanted to be heard.
Jim: Does storytelling still work around the table like that? Rather than even something, you know, “The other day something happened to me, girls.” I wanted to, I made a note to bring this up because I want to know what you think about it.
Ryan: Absolutely, it works. And th- then you have an opportunity to respond and see what they run with. It might be a brief conversation. Uh, we still do that with our, our adult children and bring something up that happened in the media or what have you and, and say, you know, “What do you think about this?”
John: Mm-hmm.
Ryan: And, uh, the older our kids get, and I think this began in really their teen years, the more I led with questions.
Lana: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Yeah.
Ryan: And, and questions are wonderful around a meal. Th- they just work naturally. What do you think about this? How do you feel about what happened here?
Jim: Yeah.
Lana: I think because our girls grew up in that kind of setting where it was more of a story and feeling like they’re being listened to-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Lana: … and stuff. I think that even now they feel like when, when Ryan has a situation at work, I mean, it may be something, you know, with a member of the congregation who’s going through something, Ryan will ask them, you know? “Let me tell you about this family and how do you think I should handle this,” or whatever. And they’re, they feel like it’s a part of their life.
Jim: Oh, that’s good.
Lana: And it’s a part of-
Jim: O- obviously keeping the names confidential.
Lana: Yes. For sure.
Ryan: Absolutely. We don’t use actual names around the table.
Lana: (laughs)
Jim: Cause’ somebody out there is wondering-
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: (laughs)
Jim: … “Do they really tell them?”
John: Yeah like, “Anyway, I’ve got this friend named Jim.”
Ryan: (laughs) That’s right.
Jim: (laughs) Exactly.
Lana: Right. (laughs)
John: This is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller. And our guests today are Ryan and Lana Rush. And, uh, we’re talking about the book that, uh, Ryan has written called Restore the Table: Discovering the Powerful Connections of Meaningful Mealtimes. This is a great resource, and we’ll encourage you to get a copy from us here. We’ve got the details at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
Jim: Ryan, uh, someone in your church has done this and they keep an empty chair-
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … for a guest. Uh, uh, describe that and what’s the metaphor? And do they fill it occasionally?
Ryan: Well, occasionally, some do. Uh, I was just texting with a, a good friend this morning who was reading the book and said, “Hey, you’re talking about us.” They light a candle (laughs) around their tables so that they’re reminding their young children that Jesus is with them. Others will put an empty chair to remind them that the Lord is present at the table. And sometimes they’ll put an empty chair, other families to say, Hey, we need to have somebody else welcome at the table. I think the unexpected bonus we found about restoring the table is the challenge to our congregation to invite someone who’s normally outside the circle to come sit at that table.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Ryan: Because I have found that this is an outreach opportunity like nothing else we’ve seen. Almost everybody will accept a dinner invitation. It’s incredible.
Jim: Absolutely.
Ryan: Yeah. We found in our own cul-de-sac, our neighborhood, a wonderful opportunity to reach out to our neighbors that really Lana initiated. Lana’s more of an introvert, so it was a wonderful thing when-
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: … when COVID happened. Everybody’s stuck indoors.
John: (laughs)
Ryan: We’re stuck in there.
Jim: You actually invited people over?
Ryan: Well, no, we d-
John: (laughs)
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: … we started out just meeting out on the, the lawn, you know? We, we put-
Jim: Yeah, right. (laughs) Open air.
Ryan: … notes on the doors and said, “Hey, let’s exchange phone numbers.” And we were friendly with our neighbors, but like most people in America, we just sort of waved and said hello.
Jim: You were looking for toilet paper.
Ryan: There you go.
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: Exactly.
John: (laughs)
Ryan: You do what you have to do.
Jim: Right.
Ryan: But since that time, we’ve shared multiple meals with our neighbors.
Jim: That’s awesome.
Ryan: Let, let me tell you something. We have, uh, neighbors next door who are, uh, from India, their neighbors are from UK, their neighbors are from, from, uh, China, their neighbors are from Louisiana.
Jim: Wow.
Ryan: Which, let’s be honest is sort of like a-
John: It’s kind of like another country.
Ryan: … foreign country, right?
Jim: (laughs)
Ryan: (laughs)
Jim: We have friends there. Be careful.
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: And so now every other month we, uh, we get together and have a meal. We would otherwise not have a lot in common, but the meal has brought us together.
Jim: You know, you’re a pastoral family.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Uh, when you’re looking, uh, and engaging people, your heart is for people. That’s why you do what you do.
Ryan: Sure.
Jim: I mean, God uses a heart for people to become pastors and pastor’s families. And there’s a lot of demands that maybe we can get to in a minute, but, uh, in this context, you’re looking for hurting people to bring to the table.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Which is such a God thing, I think. But I don’t know that we as Christians think about it as often as we need to. Like, really opening up our home and having a hurting person come in.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: That’s a burden that we then share with them. Is that what you want me to do, Ryan?
Ryan: Yeah.
Jim: Seriously?
Ryan: Right. That’s really true. I think the reason people don’t do it, first of all, we’re so busy, as we said, we’re distracted, so we think we don’t have time. You can make time. The other is the standard that social media has set for what that meal is supposed to look like. It’s so unrealistic that people think, “Well, I can’t invite someone into my home.”
Jim: Yeah.
Ryan: “It’s not Instagrammable.” Let me tell you something. I shared with a congregation in a se- sermon recently, I said, “You know what, you’re not inviting your neighbors over because you have that load of laundry sitting on the couch half folded.” But if you’ll invite them over now, they’ll feel more comfortable because they have a load of laundry on their-”
Jim: (laughs)
Ryan: “… couch half folded.”
Lana: Right.
Ryan: So just do it.
John: That’s so true. Yeah.
Ryan: Right?
Jim: That’s so true. Lana, you started a ministry called Gather. Uh, what is that? That’s a great name. Gather. Seems biblical.
Lana: (laughs) I did. There was a, our church partners with an organization in another town right down the street from us in Houston. And they had a great, thriving ministry for young men and boys, but nothing for the women. And so, I decided to try and reach out to some of those women. And what we did, the reason we called it Gather is because we basically just invited them over for a meal. And I didn’t have an agenda, I didn’t have a lesson plan. I told Ryan, I just want to get to know these women as people.
Jim: Yeah.
Lana: Who they are. And the best way I knew how to do that was to invite them to eat. And we got to know stories, got to know people much more than we probably would have had I had-
Jim: Sure.
Lana: … a list of questions to ask these people. The conversation was genuine. We got to know these women on a deeper level than we would have otherwise. And it was a huge blessing.
Jim: Yeah. And what I, you know, the beauty of that, and again, as a pastor’s wife, this has to be a lot of pressure that you feel like it, you know, when it’s coming over to do some, it’s performance, you know?
Lana: Right.
Jim: To a degree. Ryan, let me ask, uh, in the book, you talk about a blessing, a biblical blessing-
Ryan: Yes.
Jim: … in that context. Wh- what does that mean and what does it sound like?
Ryan: Well, our friend, Dr. John Trent wrote the book, The Blessing, and, uh, he’s a dear friend of mine. And part of my PhD studies was involved in attachment science, which is another thing science has come up with something the Bible said all along.
Jim: (laughs)
Ryan: We need the blessing, we have this deep desire to be connected deeply. When you look at the scientific need that we have to be connected and the ways that we connect, eye contact, meaningful conversation, touch, time together. All these things happen naturally in one place, and that is the table. So we are forging deep connections that we don’t even realize, invisible connections that God wired us to do when we’re around the table. There’s a reason why Psalm 128 speaks of the blessing of a dad and says his children will be as olive shoots around the table.
Lana: Mm-hmm.
Ryan: Because it makes a difference.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Oh, it does.
Ryan: Yeah.
John: Let me ask a question, uh, bouncing off of that, Ryan. Uh, one of the struggles I had as we were raising our children, when they were a little bit younger-
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
John: … we had six at the table. One of them-
Jim: (laughs)
John: … with some special needs.
Jim: Sorry, I was… Okay. I mean, I re- that’s, that’s challenges.
John: That’s where I’m going. Yeah, you know? That there was no peace.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
John: It was chaotic.
Ryan: Right.
John: There were interruptions left and right. Uh, I struggled because I know this is what I want to do. I want to be that dad doing the blessing-
Lana: Mm-hmm.
John: … but it’s really hard-
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: Yes.
John: … when we’re just trying to make it through the meal without one more, uh, eruption, if you will.
Lana: Yes.
Ryan: Mm-hmm. I, I think that’s true for a lot of parents with young children. We had basically two seasons. So we had two young kids, not quite the same. And then we had 10 years later, the Lord blessed us with our third daughter. So a little bit different, but I know this, even in the chaos, your kids are listening. They’re paying attention. Those-
John: That’s a little bit scary.
Ryan: … those bonds are being forged.
Lana: (laughs)
Jim: To everything.
Ryan: It’s wonderful.
John: Yeah, I m- I wasn’t always my best self.
Ryan: Right.
Lana: Right, right.
Ryan: And John, I’ll say this, our lives are not quite the same now, but we’ve had to guard against it for another reason, just kind of forgetting about the table. We have a daughter with significant special needs who’s 17 years old. She’s, uh, mostly hearing impaired, nonverbal-
John: Mm-hmm.
Ryan: … has an autism diagnosis and a rare genetic, uh, syndrome. And so, she’s not always paying attention, but what we found is, it’s deeply important to her. She’s kind of our prayer police now. So, she can’t talk-
Jim: (laughs)
Ryan: … but she’ll look at us, and I don’t care who’s around the table, when we invite somebody in, don’t care what they believe, she’ll look at them and say, “No, you’re going to pray, you’re going to fold your hands right now-
John: Okay.
Ryan: … buster. If we get seconds, you’re gonna pray again.”
John: (laughs)
Jim: (laughs)
Lana: (laughs)
Ryan: Lily’s going to make sure of that. So, in the same way, to answer your question, we have to navigate the trust that God is working even when we can’t measure it, even though we might see it as what we’d give a poor grade for a mealtime.
John: Yeah, if it’s messy.
Ryan: God’s working. It’s, it’s not one meal, it’s meals over time, over and over and over again.
Jim: Let’s end with that question, and it’s a two-parter, a- and-
John: Right.
Jim: … really what it is, is when you look at the restorative nature of the table and eating together, speak to the individual family, you having stress with teenagers and, you know, maybe later teen relationships.
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: This could be a pathway to improve that. And then secondly-
Ryan: Yeah.
Jim: … culturally, some things, the simplest things we can do actually have the greatest impact long term, even culturally getting the next generation used to eating together-
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Lana: Yes.
Jim: … and talking together is probably a great thing.
Ryan: For sure.
Lana: Yes.
Ryan: You know, we’re a part of a church that is really surrounding, prioritizing family things.
Lana: Mm-hmm.
Ryan: When you do that, you inevitably attract families who are hurting, think, “Maybe we’ll just give it this one last shot.” So for them, the table is kind of a place of pain.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Ryan: And it’s really amazing to watch how God can bring healing at the table, sometimes by bringing in another family, walking through that together or just making the decision in that one area of your life to say, “Right here, we’re gonna trust the Lord, we’re going to come together and we’re gonna give Him our mealtimes as an offering.” And then we watch, watch the Lord change them. We’ve seen it over and over again.
Jim: Yeah. And then what it creates is an attitude-
Ryan: Yeah.
Jim: … that others from the table can take out to their community, right?
Ryan: Right.
Jim: To school-
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … for the kids.
Lana: Yes.
Jim: To work, for us.
Ryan: Yeah.
Jim: Et cetera. I mean I, the data is conclusive-
Ryan: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … families that eat together are healthier.
Ryan: Yeah.
Jim: And that’s just the way it is. Healthier spiritually, emotionally, obviously physically, you got to eat, right?
Lana: Right.
Jim: But, uh, what a beautiful reminder. I’ll tell you one of the things, we have a donor gathering and maybe we can put this video up. We created a video for that gathering and we’re using it in different ways, but the video shows the table and it’s a generational story. It’s about three or four minutes. Go to the website and check it out.
John: We’ll link over to it. Yeah.
Jim: Because it’ll make you cry.
Ryan: Wow.
Jim: But this table is the, the main theme and it shows the mom and dad starting and the rough stuff with the young kids and all the time. And, and then it moves to when they’re older and then one of them passes away and then the daughter’s now the mother of her children and they’re taking the table and putting it in their home.
Lana: Yeah.
Jim: And the table story continues.
Ryan: I love that.
Jim: It’s a beautiful illustration of what you guys are talking about.
Lana: I, I don’t think that the table solves every problem-
Jim: Yeah.
Lana: … in the world. (laughs) But I do think that if you are hurting, invite someone over to eat. If you are depressed, invite someone over to eat. If you are having trouble with your children, invite someone over to eat. The table is built for community. We are built for community. And I think that if we are willing to take that leap and do that thing that we think is so hard, we’re going to get exactly what we need.
Jim: Wow, Lana, what a great place to land.
John: Yeah.
Jim: You couldn’t have punctuated it any better.
Lana: (laughs)
Jim: Uh, Ryan, Lana, thanks for being with us today.
Ryan: Thank you.
Jim: This has been terrific.
Lana: Thank you.
Jim: And what a reminder, a- and what a great resource, Restore the Table: Discovering the Powerful Connections of Meaningful Mealtimes. Get it. It’ll have a lot of great ideas for you to do exactly that. And let’s make it fun, I mean, for a gift of any amount, we’ll send it as our way of saying thank you for being part of the ministry, helping other families to get this resource, actually. If you can’t afford it, let us know. We’re a Christian ministry. We want to get this into your hands. I think it will change the temperament and the mentality of your family. That’s how much we believe in it. And we’ll trust others will cover the cost of that.
John: Mm-hmm. Yeah, get in touch, donate as you can, request the book when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. Uh, or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. On behalf of the entire team, thanks for joining us for Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m, John Fuller, inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.
