Focus on the Family with Jim Daly

Opening:

John Fuller: The following program isn’t suitable for younger listeners.

Teaser:

Lacy: So you have so much fear and it’s not the first time I’ve been asked the question of why didn’t you just leave? Or why didn’t you just tell somebody? It’s ’cause you’re scared. You’re frightened. There’s this man and you’re still a little girl, you know. So, you can’t really do much to defend yourself.

End of Teaser

John: Those are recollections from a young woman about being trafficked for sexual purposes and the trap, the sophisticated trap that was set for her and from which she could not escape. You’ll hear her dramatic story and more on today’s “Focus on the Family” with Jim Daly.

Jim Daly: John, this is such a hard and difficult topic. I mean, this isn’t what we talk about normally at Focus on the Family. We’re talking about marriage and parenting and how to strengthen your family. But more and more children are being exploited. Last time, if you didn’t hear the broadcast, download it. Get a copy. Download the app for your iPhone. I think it was very informative, especially for parents to understand the signs. But we’re talking about an industry where 100,000 roughly, 100,000 children in the U.S. are captured in this way and used barbarically for sexual pleasure. And it’s anywhere from 5 to $9 billion dollars that is generated out of this industry. And it’s a worldwide problem.

And man, if you don’t know evil, this is evil. And for us in the Christian community, if we can’t stand up against this, we better check ourselves and make sure we’re reading Scripture. So, I am really animated about this, because it should not stand in our nation, that little girls and boys are exploited in this way. And we’re gonna talk further today with two very special guests.

John: Yeah, that’s right, Jim. And by the way, the word “evil” came to mind several times on the last program as we talked about what happened. You heard from Lacy and you’ll hear more from her today. And she’s going by a pseudonym. She was a victim in that terrible crime pattern and she’ll have more for you.

Also Linda Smith is here and Linda has devoted almost two decades now of her life to rescuing women and children from sexual slavery. And she is a tireless advocate for justice for these victims. She founded the organization Shared Hope International and she was also a congresswoman in the state of Washington, serving there in the House of Representatives from 1995 to 1999.

Body:

Jim: Linda, welcome back.

Linda Smith: Always good to be with you.

Jim: Lacy, it is such an honor to have you with us, as well.

Lacy: It’s great to be here.

Jim: We talked last time. You’re now 19-years-old. This did not happen that long ago for you. You were 13, 12, 13 when you were taken in this way. We described some of that in detail last time. Let’s talk about how you began to see and others around you see that you needed help. How did your rescue occur?

Lacy: Well, my rescue occurred because Linda, she trained my probation officer when I was arrested. My probation officer, I guess, what would you say, “flagged” my case load and kind of brought it to Linda’s attention and they screened me while I was in juvenile detention. And I met one of the Shared Hope advocates there as she was a detention officer. And I had a lot of people came up would interview me with their different backgrounds or wherever they were in the system. And only one of ’em really stood out and she was trained by Shared Hope International and she really knew how to not intrude with questions and just kind of, you know, well, Shared Hope’s here for you, kind of thing and not pushing on me, ’cause as soon as you push on these girls, they’re gonna run.

Jim: So, you felt some comfort with—

Lacy: Yeah.

Jim: –this individual.

Lacy: Yeah, I felt more—

Jim: Did you begin to open up—

Lacy: –comfortable.

Jim: –to her then? Is that what uh … what happened?

Lacy: Yeah, I think what really got to me was, she had brought me a Snickers bar in the interview room.

Jim: Just some kindness.

Lacy: Yeah, the rest of ’em just kind of, you know, your name, this, that and the other, kind of very formal about it. And this person was very nice and not intrusive, you know, and respected that I didn’t want to speak to anyone, but you know.

Jim: Were you 14 at this point?

Lacy: Yes, I was turning 15, I believe, yeah, 15.

Jim: So, you know, two years you’ve been trafficked,

Lacy: Yes.

Jim: Did you feel yourself becoming hardened in that environment? I mean, just being abused in that way.

Lacy: Oh, yeah.

Jim: What were your emotions like as a 15-year-old, almost 15-year-old, experiencing that you’ve experienced that we have not really talked in any detail about? That you don’t need to, but just those emotions, what were you feeling as a 15-year-old girl?

Lacy: Well, just before I was even trafficked, I was a really nice person. I was probably one of the nicest people you could meet. (Laughing) And then after that time frame, you know, I just became a different person, you know, just slowly transitioning. And during that time while you’re trafficked, you start forgetting your self-worth and things like that, so that reflects on how you are, is just you don’t care about yourself. You don’t care about other people. Y

You’re very angry and you’re very aggressive and you don’t look at people like people anymore. You look at them like monsters, you know. There’s been times when I was arrested and one of the purchasers or clients was, you know, you can go, by the police. And then you start looking at the people that are supposed to be helping you, like the police and our justice system as enemies. You start seeing them and that’s what your traffickers are telling you in the first place, is they’re not gonna help you. They’re not gonna care for you. And they reflect that by letting the buyers go and taking you in handcuffs.

Jim: I want to dig in on that, because I think that’s a point that really is upsetting, I’m sure there are good officers and there are good judges and all of that, but I want to talk about those that are jaded themselves, that they see this, as you said, last time, Linda, as almost a victimless crime. It’s just sex. Describe that kind of attitude and how their jaded in the system, that okay, it happens. Just move on your way. Yet, it is brutalizing these children. Talk about that.

Linda: Well, I think that in five years that I’ve really worked, well, actually seven, I guess on these cases a lot in the United States, I’ve watched law enforcement change dramatically. They’re just somebody’s dad and mom, cousin, brother. And they’re starting to understand that as they are, they’re starting to change in how they work with girls like Lacy.

She has police in her life now that she loves. They’re just great. And particularly one who has come cross-country to see her and visits her any time he’s in the area. And he was involved in her rescue. So, there’s really good law enforcement. I think they reflect society. If I thought some girls were just like that and some people just do that and it would never affect me 10 years ago, why would I think anybody’s any different? I think the system is changing, but there’s still a certain number of law enforcement, judges, prosecutors that do not see this as a serious crime.

And so, we have a long ways to go. We’ve got the laws changed in lots of states and many of you have been involved in that in the Focus on the Family family. And you hear in your corporate officers, like you, Jim, you’ve been involved in changing the laws.

But if the heart doesn’t change, then the law will not be applied, because they only prosecute cases that they really think people care about. I don’t know if people realize it, but not every crime is prosecuted. It’s pled down to a lesser crime.

Right now what they’re doing is in many cases, these policemen, like the ones that have played so heavily in Lacy’s life and have been a part of her rescue and protection, they will bring these cases to the judges or bring them to the prosecutor. They never get to the judge. And they’ll play ’em down to a misdemeanor or some other crime. And like Michael Gilliland who is a big businessman here in Colorado, he was buying in Phoenix. And they ended up pleading it down to where he served 30 days in jail total, 15 days and then got a break for running his business and 15 more. And he is here in Colorado and in Arizona. And I would say today, who knows what he’s doing. But if he had been arrested and prosecuted federally, he’d be in prison 15 years. Now that’s still going on. And so, there’s a reason for girls like Lacy to be irritated. She spent more time in jail than Michael Gilliland.

Jim: Now I want to add that context that we covered last time, where the perpetrators in Lacy’s case were threatening her with killing or abusing her 10-year-old sister or her mother. So, when you look at that, that was going on emotionally for Lacy. So, when you as the average citizen are thinking about these things, you don’t necessarily know the whole emotional story going on with that young lady or that young man, that is being victimized. That’s the word we need to use.

Linda: Right.

Jim: They’re being traumatized. They’re being blackmailed.

Linda: They’re a kid.

Jim: They’re a child.

Linda: You know, I mean, I’ve had “aha” moments over this last 16, 17 years since God has put me in this ministry. And those aha moments are things I’ve known, but I didn’t think about it. And that is, the brain development of a child is not done. We’re not done till 23, 25. And at 12, 13, parts of the brain that would deal with cause and effect, the front part of the brain of risk and danger, there’s a lot of things aren’t developed. They don’t see it.

So, when you say to your kids something like, “Well, don’t you see what’s happening?” No, they don’t. Their brain isn’t developed. And so, these kids’ brains aren’t developed. They don’t see danger. They’re easily manipulated.

Jim: Trusting.

Linda: Oh, yes. You sit down with a female and this is, you know, psychologists will put more around this, you let her talk for 30 minutes if you’re a male. She thinks you love her.

Jim: Right, that’s the bonding gene.

Linda: It is and she responds different[ly] to response to male. She will fall in love with you if you listen. So, what do these guys do? They hang out at Starbucks and they listen to people like Lacy. So, just remember, there’s still some child and they maybe made a choice to skip school, like Lacy did. But this shouldn’t be a choice to slavery and torture and a society disregarding her. No, we need to go after that predator, that man that is shopping for these kids, because there’ll always be bad people like the trafficker.

Jim: Well, let me put it this way. I’ve thought a lot about this, how to say this. So, let’s see if I can get it right. You know, one of the key things here is that within the church itself, we’ve gotta face up to it. I remember Raul Ries, pastor Raul Ries did a men’s retreat with about 1,500 men. And he started that men’s retreat by saying, “Hey, you guys.” And this guy, Raul Ries is an ex-Marine, which I know most would say, you’re never an “ex-Marine,” and he pastors that way. And he looked at these men and said, “I know many of you are involved in pornography. You gotta get up to the front of this platform right now as a Christian man and confess that and repent of it and turn your life around.”

And I think one of the reasons we’re not too concerned about it, is because men aren’t being men in the church. A lot of men, if I could say it this way and boldly, are tied up into pornography themselves. Our culture is saturated with it. And that’s why people don’t react to the victimization of these children, because boy, I’m guilty in some way. That’s what they’ll say. We have got to do a better job in the church of acting like Christians.

Linda: Visualization to actualization sounds very simple, but so many guys are watching pornography and it’s now younger and younger for the stimulation and more and more violent and perverted. And therefore, they are going out there, when they go “actual,” not every man does, when he does and he’s out there looking, he’s looking for that.

Now he’s looking for younger, because only younger or vulnerable will do the things that he’s seen in pornography. Now that’s hard to hear on a Christian radio station, but it’s true. And so, what is happening in the real world of child sex trafficking, is that there are two ways that the traffickers make money. They will take pictures from the first act. They sell it to guys, who get kicks on the taking of innocence. Then they will see pornography and the pictures they take, whether the child knows they’re being taken or not. And that’s a whole market on its own.

So, when you’re watching pornography, you’re participating in child sex trafficking. Whether she smiles or not, that child is thinking of her 10-year-old sister in her head. You’re taking away that child’s life. Don’t think pornography for one click or one view is innocent, because you’re hearing a girl today that lost all of her junior high and high school time.

Now I will tell you today, she is the most amazing person, doing amazing things. And we’re having great fun doing some fun things together. But they stole from her—

Jim: Yeah.

Linda: –what they didn’t have a right to steal from her.

Jim: Lacy, I mean, we’re energized about this. You saw it. Am I describing it right, the people that you encountered, the men that you encounter? They were just kinda what would appear to be the normal average person, I’m assuming.

Lacy: Yeah, a lot of ’em, you know, it wasn’t like, you know, what you would think from a movie and they have like this trench coat and they’re hiding in a shadow, you know, barely lit. No, it’s just average people, average men, you know. They go to work, you know. They run a trip to the grocery store and they rent me for about 30 minutes and then they go back and bring the milk that you asked for. And it angers me and it’s gross, because they don’t see what they’re doing as wrong. And if they do see it, they don’t care and they’re just taking away kids’ lives just to bring themselves momentary happiness or whatever they get from it.

Jim: Lacy, I need to ask you, because you are as Linda described and as you described before you were taken in this way, a kind and loving person. How did God maintain that suppleness in your own spirit, your own heart? How did you get through this, being hurt and wounded and men doing things to you in the way that they did? How did you trust that God is still there for you?

Lacy: Well, actually to be honest, I didn’t trust that, you know, after those times, you know, God would try to reveal Himself to me, but I’d tell Him to go away. I didn’t want anything to do with God, because how did You let me, a good kid, you know, I read books to my brothers and sisters and take them out on little play dates and just different things like that. And I went and I volunteered in my community. I went to youth group and youth retreats, you know. I did my Ten Commandments. How do You let something like that happen to me?

And there was something that I didn’t understand during that time, that God had to later reveal to me when I was ready, because I thought that He was quiet. Not that He was quiet, but He was gone. He left me because of the things I did.

Jim: You felt deserted.

Lacy: Yeah, so I blamed myself for everything. Like I put myself into this position. I made it seem that I did it. And I realized, you know, thinking back on it, is I was blaming myself for what my trafficker brainwashed me to believe. So, I suffered through a lot of anger, depression, a lot of guilt and just, I was angry. I hated everyone and hate is a very strong word, but at the time, that’s exactly how I felt, is I hated you. I didn’t know you, but I hated you.

I think Linda was the only person who got a good side of me (Laughing) every time I saw her, but I did not like anyone. You could be the nicest person, but if you came up to me, especially if you were a man, I did not like you. I didn’t want anything to do with you. I didn’t want you around me.

And there’s been plenty of times where when I was at the home they placed me at, a new staff member wasn’t aware of my predisposition towards men and would approach me, thinking I was just like all the other kids. And I would flip out and I would have issues and they would have to, you know, bring the staff members that I knew and trusted down to calm me down, because I didn’t like men within a foot of me. I didn’t like them within an arm’s reach of me. I didn’t like them in the same hallways as me. I didn’t like them around at all.

And my anger started reflecting towards especially teachers and guidance counselors at the school and especially police, because I was angry. I should’ve been helped, but instead I was the criminal. I was angry because in order for me to be protected, I had to be taken and shipped across the country. And I can’t see my family. I can’t do any of this, you know. I was angry.

And I didn’t get to go to a real school, you know. And I didn’t get to have a prom or any of the stuff that normal kids do. I didn’t get any of that, because of what happened to me. So, there was so much anger and bitterness inside and there was just this one point in time. You know, my pastor, my youth pastor back then, he was a man, so I always just disliked him, even though he was a pastor. I didn’t care.

He never gave up on trying to reach me. And then one day, he just says, “Hey, do you want to go to a baby shower?” I didn’t like kids back then. I liked my brothers and sisters and that was it, especially babies. And I don’t know why, but I said, okay. It may have been that he offered Starbucks before, but you know, I went. And at that time, you know, it was the school I went to, they had a program for teenage mothers. And there was all these Christian women who came to this baby shower.

And I’m in my head, I’m thinking, you know, well, they shouldn’t be rewarding her, because they’re Christian. And Christians, they don’t help you. That’s what I was thinking in my head. I grew up in a Christian church, but no one helped me.

So, in my head, they shouldn’t be helping this girl who had sex, you know, before marriage and got pregnant. They shouldn’t be showering her with gifts and love. And there was just something in these women that, when they smiled at me, I didn’t smile back. I was just watching them. I stood in the back of the whole baby shower and I watched them, brand-new, you know, expensive things. And they weren’t just buying things for the baby. They were buying things for the mother, as well.

And I just watched and they had this happiness inside them. And I got angry for a second and I thought to myself, I said, “See, God, that’s what You stole from me.” And then, I just kept watching the whole baby shower. It was probably about two hours or however a baby shower lasts. But I was just watching in the background. I didn’t sit down. I didn’t have anything to eat. I stood in the corner and I watched these women, these Christian women.

And I watched how they had this happiness. And I watched every time they walked past. There was something that I wanted and there was something that drew me towards them, where I wanted to just stand next to them. And finally, there was just this feeling, like I was so heavy. I couldn’t stand. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and I couldn’t breathe.

And I pulled my pastor to the side. I grabbed him by the arm and I didn’t touch men back then. I didn’t them near me at all. And I said to my pastor, I said, “Whatever those women have, I want it now.” And as soon as I accepted Jesus, it was like that feeling, that overwhelming sense of depression, everything it was lifted off and I could breathe again.

And actually later, a few weeks later is when I decided that, you know, my trafficker took everything and I’m not gonna let ’em take my name. That’s one thing he can’t have. And he can’t take my happiness. And he can’t take everything that he tried to.

And just after that, there was this connection between me and God that can never go away. It’s like, you know, it’s like when you’re married (Laughing) and you go through so much together and there’s that bond, that strength that can’t be moved. That’s how it is with me and God.

And I realize now that actually, I don’t know. I was listening to a Christian radio show and I’m not sure if it was you guys, but—

John: Probably was, if it’s good. (Laughter)

Lacy: Yeah, it was really good. I listen to it every morning. And the guy that was talking, he told everyone, he said, “When we’re going through trials and we feel like God’s left us, that’s not true, because when you’re in school and you’re taking a test, the teacher is always quiet.” So, at that time, God never left me; He was just quiet.

And when He did try to speak, I ignored Him, ’cause I didn’t want anything to do with Him, because of those moments when He was quiet. And it’s not bad for God to be quiet, because He’s still with us and—

Jim: Wow.

Lacy: –that’s one thing I learned, you know, in my journey.

Jim: Lacy, you just gave us a Sunday school lesson there.

Lacy: (Laughing)

Jim: And that was awesome.

John: She did, wow.

Jim: Do you really feel the love of God today and those broken fences in your heart are mended?

Lacy: Yes, I actually, I used to lead worship before I had my son and a little bit after, but it’s a lot of work, you know. I used to lead worship for my church. I went to Life Church in Manassas and I used to lead worship there—

Jim: And what’s beautiful—

Lacy: –for their youth group.

Jim: –is how God has restored the rest of your life, that you’re married now and you have a child. Things are, I guess, whatever this means, back to normal, even though you have to carry—

Lacy: Uh-hm.

Jim: –much of that baggage the rest of your life. But it’s what motivates you, I’m sure to work for Shared Hope International, to express the story. God’s given you a testimony now, to touch the lives of other young women, young men who are victimized in this way. And I’m teared up just thinking of your courage and, you know, wow! What a way to spend a childhood. I’m so sorry for you.

Lacy: Oh, it’s all right. There’s one thing. I don’t know who it was talking; it might’ve been you, but it was one of the Shared Hope people. And they sat there and I don’t even know what the questions was, but I told them, if I could go back and have the choice not to go through what I went through, or go through what I went through and have the chance to speak out against it and have the chance to save hundreds of girls, thousands of girls, that went through what I went through, but because I didn’t go through it, I didn’t know. Because I didn’t go through it, I wasn’t able to become that voice.

But because I went through it, now I have this need to speak out against it, this need to teach and this need to reflect the Bible verse that God showed to me a lot, was “Behold, I’m making all things new.” I have this need to help these girls make their life new. And if that means just sharing my story every now and then, making the Chosen video and having that, that’s what touches my heart. And if I could do it full time and not have to worry about working, that’s what I would do. (Laughing)

Jim: Well, Lacy, thank you. You are so brave and I so appreciate your transparency and helping us better understand what you encountered. Thank you for that courage to share your story with us.

Lacy: It’s a pleasure.

Closing:

Jim: If you’ve been angered and I hope it has happened, that’s how I felt when I listened, if you’ve been angered by what’s happening to children every single day, I want to turn to you and ask you to educate yourself. Knowledge is power. We said that last time and we have some resources for you at our website. That’s a list of the signs for trafficking, a link to check out your state’s report card. That’s where I got motivated. I didn’t like us havin’ a D grade. That just did not sit well with me and we were able to do something here in Colorado and you can do it, too.

I also want to say how today’s program really highlights our desire and I think your desire, too, here at Focus on the Family to be a voice that advocates for children. Children don’t have many lobbyists runnin’ around, talkin’ about what they need. And we need to do that. If you believe in what we’re doing to stand in the gap for kids, will you consider supporting us as we kick off the new year? Your financial support enables us to do the very things that we’ve been talking about, to produce broadcasts like this, to provide the materials, to disseminate the information that literally could save one life and maybe many, many more. So, please if you can support the ministry, do it today. We need to hear from you. Also when you do, we’ll send a copy of the DVD Chosen to you and Lacy’s featured in that DVD, sharing her story and it’s an important DVD to show your age-appropriate children. I think again, giving them knowledge which empowers them to defend themselves in that situation, if they ever encounter it. Knowledge is power.

John: Well, make that donation right now when you call 800-A-FAMILY; 800-232-6459 or you can go online. That’s very easy to do at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio .

And our program was provided by Focus on the Family. It was made possible by generous listeners like you. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team here, thanks for listening along. I’m John Fuller, hoping you have a great weekend and inviting you back on Monday. You’ll hear why marriage matters, as we offer more trusted insights to help your family thrive.