Focus on the Family with Jim Daly

John Fuller: When you think about Easter, I wonder what comes to mind. Is it rabbits? Chocolate? Colored eggs? Um, as Christians, we know there’s so much more to Easter. Uh, it started with a triumphal parade, and anger Jesus had about, uh, the misuse of God’s temple, the Last Supper, a brutal death, then a miraculous resurrection, and as adults, that is so much for us to process, um, and it’s really hard for us to help our kids get into, uh, those truths and understand them. So, today on Focus on the Family, we’re gonna explore the Easter story, its relevance to our lives, and how you, as a parent, can help your kids grab onto it. Uh, thanks for joining us. I’m John Fuller, and your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly.

Jim Daly: John, the period of time, uh, around that first Easter, had to be filled with amazing moments. Uh, we call it Holy Week, but if you just read it in the Scripture, there’s a lot going on-

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: …a lot of chaos, really, and imagine how the Disciples must have felt, wondering if Jesus would become the King? Would He take over politically? Would He be the next leader in that way? And then, you had Judas, uh, you know, betraying Him. You had Peter denying Him. Uh, there was just a lot of things happening, and it’s good for us to understand it and better understand what were the motivations of people and what was happening. You know, we had the benefit of 2,000 years of history, now. We get to look back, and we get to see that what Jesus said is true.

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: I mean, we are- should be envied, as a generation.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: You know, we’re not in the midst of it, thinking, “Is He the Messiah? Is He not the Messiah?” I think you can say, very definitively, Jesus was who He said He was. And we have, uh, still, people that have lots of questions about, uh, Jesus and His significance, and we’re gonna help answer those questions today, especially for your children, which is so hard for them to kind of connect with. You know, what’s a bunny rabbit and a-

John: Yeah.

Jim: … colored egg have to do with Easter?

John: With Jesus, right.

Jim: So, we’re looking forward to talking two great friends about how to speak to your children about Easter.

John: Yeah, Josh and Christi Straub are back in the studio with us. We’re so glad to have them, and, uh, we always get a great response when we talk with them. Uh, they are, um, speakers and podcast hosts and co-founders of Famous at Home. They train leaders in emotional intelligence and, uh, really promote healthy families. They’re living a healthy family. They have three kids, and, uh, Landon, Kennedy, and Micah. They know something about the journey that so many of us are on, or are reflecting back-

Jim: (laughs) Yeah.

John: … uh, so positively about.

Christi: (laughing)

John: Uh, one of the books they’ve written that, uh, we’ll mention here is 10 Days of the Easter Story: A Family Experience Through the Feelings of Holy Week, and we’ve got copies of that here. Uh, stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast, or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: Josh and Christi, welcome.

Christi Straub: Thank you.

Josh Straub: Thank you for having us.

Jim: Good to have you back.

Christi: We love being here.

Jim: The smiles, I love your smiles.

Christi: (laughs)

Josh: We love being here.

Jim: So joyful. I love it.

Josh: Thank you.

Jim: Um, let me ask you this. John touched on it, but the whole idea of bunny rabbits and eggs, so, you- you know, for Jean and I, when our boys were younger, we were having this discussion, “Do we talk about a rabbit?” I mean, really, do the kids grow up thinking we’re lying to them? There is no big, uh, Easter bunny that’s taking care of all of this?

Spiritually speaking, and, you know, Jean was really great. We did the same thing with, uh, the other guy in December, you know-

Christi: (laughs)

Jim: … SC.

Josh: (laughing)

Jim: I don’t wanna blow anybody’s cover, but we just weren’t- we felt it may no- go down well with our boys if we’re deceiving them-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … I mean, even playfully-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … about Santa Claus and maybe the Easter bunny. So, we were- we were not big on- on pretending that these people exist (laughs) and deliver-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … presents. But let me- this one, let’s just get it out of the way. At Easter, how do you begin to clarify this is Jesus and the true story, and this is something we do for fun?

Christi: Well, it is confusing, isn’t it? Like, what? Wait, where did bunnies and eggs come into the picture? And then we’re talking about empty tombs and this horrific death.

Jim: (laughs) You’re right.

Christi: And, like, how do these go together? And I think it’s hard for- I mean, we’re parents raising kids in this generation, alongside all of you, and it’s like-

Jim: How old are your kids, just for-

Christi: So-

Jim: … the listeners?

Christi: So, Landon’s 10-

Jim: (laughs)

Christi: … Kennedy’s eight, and Micah’s just about to be three. So-

Jim: So, right there, you have a v- a wide variety of understanding.

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: Oh, totally.

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: And it’s- and very limited understanding-

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: … for some. Like, it’s- what even is Easter, I think, and the reason I think it’s so important to us to even have this conversation today is because it really- like, it’s the crux of our faith. So, if we’re- like, Jim, you were saying, if we’re, like, telling them about Easter bunnies and going along with that, and I’m, truthfully, like, we play along with some of the traditions so that the kids- like, there’s just a joy in hiding eggs-

Jim: Yeah, it’s fun.

Christi: … around the house and- but with this, like, balance of- and this is what is true, and I think that’s the point that we wanted to really hammer home with our kids, is- and it’s not just a story. Like, it’s tr- it’s a true story, but it’s not just a story that we are reading to you. We want you to actually experience what this meant, not just then, but for you now-

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: … because this is the centerpiece of our faith, and if we don’t- if we see it as a story, or if we just treat it like eggs and, you know, bunnies, (laughs) and chocolate, which is- I mean, all great-

Jim: (laughs)

Christi: … it’s fine, but, like, how do we make this come alive for you?

Jim: Right?

Josh: Yeah, and I- I think, you know, for us, you know, one of the principles we hold to is one of the things that Christi’s mom, uh, s- would say to them growing up, you know, uh, the Easter bunny with- with- and with SC as well, uh, uh-

Jim: (laughs)

Josh: … they’re- they’re- so- and this is the phrase, is they are pretend, but in our home, we pretend. And so, just that idea of going, okay, yes the- if they ask the question, we pretend, or they’re pretend, but we pretend in our home, and I think there’s a- a reality to we want our children to know the truth, and we want them to understand that the truth sets them free.

Jim: Right.

Josh: And so, that’s why, you know, yes, you know, and- and I get the Easter egg and the spring and the springing forth of new life and that, you know, r- being a representation to- to the resurrection, but I think, so often, what we do is we, uh, bypass the pain of- of the truth.

Jim: Hmm.

Josh: We bypass the-

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: … suffering of the truth, and we wanna get to the resurrection. Sunday is coming. We use that phrase, Sunday is coming, and- and what we end up doing is- is we- we pacify things with eggs and- and the pretend stuff that culture brings into play, and then in- we focus on the good part of the Easter story of going, okay, Sunday’s coming, Jesus is rose from the dead, but what we end up doing is we do- I think we do our kids a disservice by passing over, Jesus came to fulfill Passover by passing over (laughing) the stuff that wasn’t so fun-

Jim: Yeah. Well, I mean-

Josh: … during that week.

Jim: … and what you’re saying, I- I mean, it’s dawning on me that it’s such a metaphor for the culture.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: I mean, really.

Josh: Hmm.

Christi: Isn’t it?

Jim: Rather than talk about what’s-

Christi: Yes.

Jim: … true and the things that are most important in life, uh, let’s eat some chocolate. (laughs)

Christi: Yes.

Jim: Let’s- let’s entertain bunnies and-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … you know, fake things, but that is too- that’s our culture.

Christi: Isn’t it?

Jim: Yeah, let’s- let’s, you know, consume-

Christi: It’s this avoidance.

Jim: … to the hilt-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … and not talk about what’s most important in life.

John: Hmm.

Jim: We just continue that whole fable forward.

Christi: Yes. It’s so-

Josh: Yeah.

Christi: … it’s just, like, you know, this whole- I- I don’t know. There’s this culture of, like, we medicate pain with, you know, we shop it away or we eat it away or we (laughs) s- over-sugar it away, and it’s- it’s like we’re ingraining in our kids this- that coping mechanism-

Jim: Right.

Christi: … and I just think there is such a better way for us to actually walk through it with our kids, hard things.

Jim: Yeah. And what I- what I love what you’re accomplishing with the book, 10 Days of the Easter Story, and you guys- you’re so intentional with this, is how to get your kids starting right- right from the get-go-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … emotionally healthy.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: I- I- I’d so appreciate that, ’cause I don’t think as parents, we- you know, we want them to be in sports-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … we want them to do these things that demonstrate their physical well-being and their physical acuity-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … and I don’t know that- I don’t think I was as in tune with their emotional health, as you guys are coaching parents to be, and I think, man, it should probably start right there.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: Emotionally healthy children. So, when you look at connecting the Easter story-

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … for them to be emotionally healthy, how- how does that work?

Josh: Yeah. Well, one of the things we wanted to do was, I mean, we wanted to take the Easter story, and we wanted to look at what was actually happening. Right? Uh, you know, researchers show that, you know, thinking, feeling, and relating at the same time is where true growth happens. So, in other words, if I’m just sitting in a classroom and I’m hearing somebody lecture, there’s a cognitive thing going on, but if there’s not great stories or I’m not emotionally engaged, I’m not as likely to remember what’s being taught.

Jim: That’s like a speaker.

Josh: Y- yeah.

Jim: An effective speaker is sharing stories.

Josh: An effective speaker is gonna share stories. They’re gonna engage your emotion, and there’s thinking, feeling, and then there’s also relating. I’m- I’m entering into a relationship. This is why therapy is so effective, is because it- you know, or- or at least good, healthy, relationships, small groups, where you’re doing life with people in your church, because there’s relational things happening. And so, what we really wanted to do was give parents another tool to be able to take their children through the devotion of Easter, uh, to teach them the truths of Scripture, but then to also help their children enter into that story and think about what is it that the characters or the people during that week, during that time of life, what were they experiencing? What were they actually feeling? What was actually going on? And what are ways that you experience that feeling today?

Jim: Yeah.

Josh: What are ways that you’ve experienced a lot of hope, like, the hope of Palm Sunday? Right? And- and the happiness of Palm Sunday, or anger. Right? When the Pharisees are angry, uh, and then J- ’cause Jesus is flipping over the tables, but then Jesus getting angry b- and flipping over the tables, or the surprise- I mean, you think about the Last Supper, think about the Disciples at the Last Supper. What a, like, mind-blowing, like, if they had emojis back then, the mind-blown-

Christi: (laughs)

Josh: … like, emoji, because Jesus shows up and He says, “By the way, one of you is gonna betray me-”

Jim: Yeah.

Josh: … and they all look at each other like-

Jim: Who?

Josh: … “Who? And- and what are you talking about?” Then, on- He washes their feet-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Josh: … which is a- for a servant to do. He- He tells them He’s going to die and temple being raised in three days. He tells them to drink of His blood and eat of His body. Like, you’re going what-

Jim: (laughing)

Josh: I mean, just imagine being- all the surprise that’s happening at the Last Supper. So, we- we connect that with surprise, and the surprise that they were going through. And- and so, there’s so much happening, and there’s so many of these feelings that our kids can relate with on a daily basis. We just put prompts in there and-

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: … ways that we can start helping our kids experience the feelings-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Josh: … that they’re having and connect it to that story.

Jim: You know, one of the things I’m thinking of, because I didn’t grow up in a Christian home.

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: So, for me, I was- you know, I didn’t have traditions taught to me-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … and, you know, I- I- I kinda struggled, I’d say, more as a teenager-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … trying to grab these concepts-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … and wh- what you’re doing with your children at a younger age, what I love what’s happening there, you- you- you don’t have to get it all done in one fell swoop, you know, asking your-

Christi: No.

Jim: … three-year-old, “Are you ready to receive Jesus?”

Christi: (laughs)

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: You’re laying the groundwork-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … and portraying the truth of Scripture, et cetera-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … and I just love that idea of l- it’s like the layers of an onion. You’re just creating that first layer for that three-year-old-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … to understand-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … what’s true.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: And I think being mindful of that and intentional of that-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … is so good. Christi, you- you were really honest about the fact that you struggled with the- the death and resurrection.

Christi: Oh.

Jim: I could so relate to you. I mean, I was 15 going, “Why would He have to do that?” I didn’t get it. What were your struggles as a child?

Christi: Well, it’s like Josh was just saying, like, I mean, it’s just this most gruesome- like, you know, when you-

Jim: You were scared of it.

Christi: I was absolutely- and almost disgusted.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Christi: Like, here’s a- (laughs) we’ll throw in another feeling word. Disgust is, it’s like I can’t watch that, and you think about us parents, like, we try so hard to protect our kids from what they see-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Christi: … on television, on, you know, apps and all the things, and I think there’s a whole generation of parents that are really recognizing how important that is, and they’re really stepping up, but I almost wonder if we’ve swung the pendulum a bit to the other side, where it’s, like, we’re- we’re so protecting them, what they see, and yet, there’s this story about the man that we are to- like, give our life for, we’re trying to introduce our children to, that died this gruesome death, and we are protecting our children from death and, like, don’t look at that, don’t see that, and then how do- awkward it is to try to explain this to kids. You know? And I just remember, as a kid, myself, watching the Jesus movie. Do you remember this movie?

Jim: Oh, yeah.

Josh: Yeah.

Christi: You know? And, like, it gets to that, like, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine, you’re fine, and, like, triumphal entry, and Palm Sunday, and this is all great, and then you get to this horrible part where they’re like literally nailing his hands, and I just remember as a kid, like, actually feeling sick to my stomach-

Jim: Huh.

Christi: … and yet, you have to watch this every year as a family, you know, as- and I’m never allowed to watch this stuff and- like, normally.

Jim: (laughs)

Christi: So, why are we watching this now? And it just is this very strange introduction to v- I mean, it’s violent.

Jim: Right.

Christi: It’s gruesome.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Christi: We don’t really see that that often in our protected little bubble worlds that we’re trying to, you know, and I think in really pure intention. We’re trying to protect children from things that they-

Jim: Should see.

Christi: … shield them. Shield them, really-

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: … in ways that shey- shouldn’t see, and yet, this is important.

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: So, how do we do this?

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: And I just realized how much of a struggle that was for me, (laughs) and what Josh said, the whole church phrase of, like, “It’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming,” and I- I- though I get the sentiment, like, yes, we have hope, what about Saturday?

Jim: Yeah. (laughs) Yeah.

Christi: Like, Saturday-

Jim: Was a bad day.

Christi: … was horrible.

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: And if I look at the world right now, we don’t know how to sit in a Saturday, and yet, I think that’s really what it feels like right now.

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: Like, if you look at the state of the world, it’s like, God, where are you, and, like, I don’t really feel a lot of hope right now. Like-

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: … it feels like darkness is winning.

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: And I think that’s what Saturday felt like, and I- the- I think the realization that there is this tolerance that we all need to develop. It’s almost like a muscle, where we can sit in hard things and allow them. The- the overwhelm, you know, it’s like this tidal wave. I think we’re so afraid. I’ve heard so many people say to me, like, as we’re sitting with them in hard things, you know, in a- in a session, where they’ll say, like, I- I don’t wanna cry because I’m afraid if I start, I’ll never stop.

Jim: Mm-hmm. Oh, my.

Christi: And I think that’s the belief, uh, and wh- where we get this avoidant thing and we go to sugar and bunnies- (laughs)

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: … because it’s like if I actually touch upon this feeling, I’m afraid I’ll cry and I’ll never stop.

Jim: Yeah.

Christi: And the grief will overwhelm me, and the truth is actually the opposite. That’s the why, we’re so afraid to feel, is because we haven’t let ourselves, and grief really co- it’s- it comes in waves, sadness comes in waves, anger comes in waves, and we actually have to allow it, and it has to have a safe outlet, and as parents, that’s what we are for our kids, if we allow it.

Jim: Well, and I appreciate that, because, again, that’s y- your great strength, that’s what the Lord’s called you to, it feels to me, is helping children, particularly, to be emotionally healthy-

Christi: Mmm.

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … and to talk with them in such a way that they can be.

Christi: Hmm.

Jim: I- I think the Easter story, again, it- it can be overwhelming to a child.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: I mean, you wanted to get to Sunday quickly-

Christi: Yeah. (laughs)

Jim: … ’cause that’s the-

Christi: We all do. Yeah.

Jim: … shazaam, right?

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: That’s the big part of the story-

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … it’s the Lord being raised from the-

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … dead, and-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … appearing to people, and it cements out faith-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … and it is, as Paul, himself, the Apostle, said-

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … you know, if Jesus didn’t rise from the dead, then our faith is pretty much-

Josh: In vain, yeah.

Jim: … mute.

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And, uh, but that’s what it all hinges upon.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: So, as we’re teaching our kids this, it’s- it- it can be difficult.

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Let me go back to something you mentioned. You said a lot in that statement-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … but the one thing, uh, that I want to punch here is our modern parenting style to kinda keep our kids pain-free.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: You know, bubble wrapping them, not just physically, but emotionally-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … too, you know, to where they don’t have a dip. That’s- it’s proving through research that’s not a good thing. Kids need appropriate challenges-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … to create resiliency in them.

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: So, speak to that issue of not being too cautious with the kids experiencing some grief and some pain.

Josh: Yeah, and I think what ends up happening is is it comes back to our own parental fears. It comes back to our own-

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: … story. We don’t like anger or if we see anger in our kids, we wanna just shut it out because I don’t want an angry child. I don’t want- you know, or anger within us-

Jim: Huh.

Josh: It triggered something within us from our own childhood, where maybe we were told that anger was a bad emotion. We’re not supposed to feel. So, we just pass that on to our kids. And- and so, a lot of times, this desire to not want our kids to experience those feelings is coming from our own story.

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Josh: And I think it’s important that we look at that story, uh, because Romans 5 is- is- says to rejoice in suffering. With suffering comes perseverance, and perseverance, character, and character, hope, and- and I think, you know, for us to be able to enter into our children’s story, get them to identify what is it that you’re feeling? Is it sad? Is it- is it anger? Is it, uh, um, embarrassed? Is it rejected? Uh, is it fear? What are you experiencing? And to be able to allow our kids to sit in that and to listen to them in that without getting overwhelmed ourselves as parents-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Josh: … gives our children the ability to say that it’s okay. You have permi- and- and it’s actually a good thing, ’cause our ability to experience a wide range of emotion is what leads to emotional s- and spiritual health.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Josh: It- if- if you shut out the negative or the uncomfortable emotions, you also teach your body to shut out the positive, and that’s when we turn to the chocolate and the Netflix-

Christi: (laughs)

Josh: … and all the other stuff-

Jim: Wow.

Josh: … to calm and soothe us.

John: Hmm. Yeah. Well, big topic today, as we’re talking about, uh, Easter and the emotions of Easter, and how do we, uh, talk about those and help our kids process all of those emotions. We have to start with ourselves-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

John: … is what you’re saying. Our guests are Josh and Christi Straub, and this is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Uh, get a copy of this terrific little book, 10 Days of the Easter Story: A Family Experience Through the Feelings of Holy Week. We have it here. Uh, you’ll find it at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: W- one of the things that you talk about and you develop and practice, uh, is this idea of, uh, emotional safety as a family.

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Some people won’t even understand what- what you’re aiming at there. So, describe what emotional safety is within the family.

Josh: Yeah. I think it more has to do with the posture-

Christi: Right.

Josh: … from which we parent more than the techniques.

Jim: Okay.

Josh: You know, I think we, in the day to day, we get so caught up in the techniques. We have a- as- as you were talking, John, earlier, (laughs) the trying threes. We have- w- one who’s walking into the threes. He- it’s all about mine, it’s all about me, it’s- he’s- he getting- letting his voice be heard.

Jim: (laughs)

Josh: And I think, so often, as parents-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Josh: … we get overwhelmed in those moments-

Jim: Oh, yeah.

Josh: … and it’s all about techniques. Should I spank or not spank? Do I do time ins or time outs?

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Josh: Do we- you know, do we, you know, uh, breastfeed or bottle feed? Do we co-sleep or not co-sleep? We get so overwhelmed by all these techniques, but the reality is, is that techniques will always change.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Josh: Uh, and- and one technique that works on one child today won’t work on that same child tomorrow, and one technique that works on a child- one child doesn’t work on another child. So, techniques will always ebb and flow, and those are one, uh, way relationships. So, it’s- it’s a one-way- it’s- it’s me-

Jim: Trying to manage the moment.

Josh: … as a parent- yeah.

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: It’s me, as a parent, in, uh, you know, prescribing something or putting something on my child. The posture from which we parent should never change, and the way we describe that is that, you know, 1 John 4 says that perfect love casts out fear, and I think any time that we are leading in fear, as a parent, whether it’s our parental fears, our parental agenda, uh, whatever that looks like, where we’re coming in with a- with our own agenda, or we’re, you know, shutting our child down because of our own fear, rather than entering into their story and- and the way described this is leading in grace and following in truth. It’s Jesus with the woman at the well. It’s Jesus with the woman caught in adultery.

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Yes.

Josh: He’s always showing up with grace, and He’s entering their story before He ever reveals who He is, and I think that’s a- a framework for us, as parents, to be able to lead in grace with our kids and enter their world, and asking questions of what’s going on? What- what’s going on in your heart right now? What’s the disobedience about? What’s the disrespect about? Did something happen? How can I help? And, of course, we wanna follow up in truth. There- there’s gotta be consequences to disrespect and misbehavior, but I think, so often, we’re- we’re leading in truth-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Josh: … and- and we’re missing the grace component, and- and to me, emotional safety really is that posture of how do we lead in grace.

Jim: Well, that- that is so critical, when you talk to 20, 30-somethings and they’re experience, especially growing up in a Christian home-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … never feeling like they could get to the bar that’s been set-

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: Hmm.

Jim: … always being somewhat shamed that I wasn’t performing well enough. Those are the beginnings of difficult adulthood.

Josh: Yeah.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: You know, things that you bring in, and as parents, our job, I believe, before the Lord, is to deliver healthy 18, 19-year-olds-

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … emotionally. Right?

Josh: Yeah.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: Let me- let me as you too, Josh, you- you, uh, grew up, I think, experiencing Easter at your grandmother’s church.

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: I think you referred to her as Memaw.

Josh: Me- Memaw. Yeah.

Jim: I didn’t have the Memaw-

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … but, uh, we didn’t have extended family. So-

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … I never had that experience, but-

Josh: Yeah.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … what was it like being with Memaw and then Memaw’s attitude toward teaching you about Easter?

Josh: Yeah. Oh, my goodness. So, um, I get tears, thinking about.

Christi: Mmm.

Josh: Um, every s- Easter Sunday, uh, we would show up at my Memaw’s church, and, um, we wouldn’t go- we went to a separate church, but we would show up at my Memaw’s church, and I remember, um, singing the hymns, you know, uh, Christ the Lord is Risen Today, Ah-ahh-ahh-le-lu-jah.

Jim: (laughs)

Josh: And, um, and then we would go to her house and we’d, you know, find Easter eggs, and we’d do all these things, but, um, there was such a deep- like, you talk about thinking, feeling, and relating, at the same time-

Jim: Hmm.

Josh: Like, I’m welling up in tears thinking about that ex- experiential moment of singing those songs and going to Easter Sunday service and engaging in those activities with my family, that just connected my faith, and my parents, uh, growing up, were nominal believers. I mean, we went to church every Sunday, but it wasn’t like we were doing devotions every day, and we we’re- you know. But I always believed, and my Memaw was such an anchor for that-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Josh: … and I just really wanna encourage families to find those experiences, find those traditions in your family that will help your kids think, feel, and relate, and they’ll have a connection point back to a faith-connection point back to in their childhood to look back and- and have a similar experience when they’re in their 40s, to tear up, to go, “Man, my parents showed up for me in this way. They taught me faith in this way.”

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Yeah. Yeah, you know, sometimes, in that parenting role, our judgment gets so clouded that we don’t even know that the simple things that we’re doing-

Christi: Yeah, yeah.

Josh: Amen.

Jim: Now I’m getting teary-eyed for you.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: But those simple things that we do-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … are building incredible foundations for these kids.

Josh: Right.

Jim: You know, just stability.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: Being married, loving each other-

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … in front of each of your children-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … having dinner together at night, having discussion.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: These aren’t difficult things to do, just consistency for your kids to see, and then your kid will be 40 and serving the Lord going, “Wow, what did I have? That was so special.”

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: And I’m so grateful you said that, because we so often beat ourselves up, especially over the emotional stuff, because we- we get caught up in the day-to-day-

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: … and- and I just wanna say to parents out there, like, it is hard, it is difficult, and yet, simply showing up, simply doing the exact things you just walked through-

Jim: Yeah.

Josh: It’s Deuteronomy 6. You know? You’re showing up for dinner, you’re- you know, you’re, uh-

Jim: Engage.

Josh: … resolving conflict, you’re engaged, you’re- and then- and when we do mess up, because we will, being able to apologize to our kids-

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: … just seeking their forgiveness is everything-

Jim: Yeah.

Josh: … in our relationship.

Jim: Well, and I so appreciate and to- to hit this again, don’t be, uh, kind of about tactics, be about heart.

Josh: Yeah.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: Tactics will change-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … and the way you do it at eight years old, parenting that eight-year-old, will be different-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … from 15. So, your tactics will change, but the heart-

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … is what it’s about, that grace and truth-

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: … delivered. Man, this time has flown by.

Josh: Hmm.

Christi: (laughs)

Jim: I cannot believe it, but for the parents, 10 Days of the Easter Story, start the discussion.

Christi: Yeah.

Jim: This is a great time to do it, if you have that three-year-old, the eight-year-old-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … the 10-year-old, the 15-year-old, uh, to help them better understand what was going on that week, that we rest everything on-

Christi: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … that our faith is built upon-

Christi: Yeah.

Josh: Yeah.

Jim: … and to help your kids manage and understand those emotions. Uh, boy, you’ve delivered.

Christi: Hmm.

Jim: Thanks so much for being with us.

Josh: Thank you for having us.

Christi: Thanks for having us.

John: Hmm. Reach out to Focus on the Family today to get your copy of 10 Days of the Easter Story: A Family Experience Through the Feelings of Holy Week. Uh, when you request that book, uh, be generous as you can. This month, we’ve been, uh, really emphasizing the need we have here, Jim, for monthly sustainers.

Jim: It helps.

John: It’s a really important thing for us, uh, for you to step up and contribute on a monthly basis, if you’re able to. That smooths out, uh, the budget year for us. That allows us to know you’re with us and we can move, uh, confidently ahead, uh, in various plans and outreaches. So, uh, sign up today to be a monthly sustainer, a gift of any amount, uh, will really make a difference. If you’re not able to do that on a monthly basis, then one-time contribution certainly is welcome, and, uh, the number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459, or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Also, John, uh, we have a great, uh, PDF download or booklet, uh, called Coming Home, which describes what it means to have a relationship with Jesus.

John: Hmm.

Jim: And let’s just (laughs) start there. If you’re parenting without that foundation, uh, let me just say, that’s the place to go.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … and for you to have that personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and then to be able to give that to your children-

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … as best as possible. Uh, that’s our goal for you as well.

John: Yeah. We’ve got that, uh, little booklet, Coming Home, at our website or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, we hope you have a great weekend with your family and your church family as well. Uh, plan to join us on Monday, as we hear from Emily Colson, and, uh, some of the rich lessons she’s learned from her son, Max, who has autism.

Emily Colson: But I can tell you this, that I have watched Max teach us, teach others about love, and compassion, and kindness, and gentleness, and patience, and joy, and perseverance.