Focus on the Family with Jim Daly

Opening:

John Fuller: The campaign signs are slowly disappearing in your neighborhood and finally, finally those political ads have stopped. This is “Focus on the Family” with Focus president and author, Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller and Jim, it’s so nice to be in a post-election season, isn’t it?

Jim Daly: It’s true, John, but I’m tellin’ you, those ads were drivin’ me crazy and I don’t think, lookin’ around my neighborhood, I don’t think those yard signs come down that quickly.

John: Oh.

Jim: It’s usually months if not years into biodegradable material (Laughter), I don’t know.

John: Well, they make good targets. I saw my son throwing a baseball at one over the weekend that was left in someone’s yard.

Jim: From the mouth of babes–

John: Yeah, well.

Jim: –somethin’s coming there. But we want to talk to somebody very special today and you know, when it comes to this issue of who gets elected and who doesn’t, a couple of thoughts come to mind. One is, you know, I think the Scripture’s very clear. Some people see truth and others don’t. And when we talk about that, we’re talkin’ about God’s heart, His heart for marriage, the institution of marriage, and what it means to Him and His heart for the preborn child and that mom who’s struggling. What about that issue?

And you know, I was really pleased that so many pro-family pro-marriage, pro-life folks were voted in this election cycle. And it’s not about politics. I know most have heard that. A lot of the media will say that, but in reality, you’re first a Christian. And there is one particular senator who was appointed and this was his first election cycle. And he is now standing man and because I think he is putting his faith right out in front. He’s not ashamed of it. He’s talking about it and talked about it during the campaign in South Carolina.

And Tim Scott and I had a great opportunity to talk before the election. We couldn’t air it, but he is a solid guy and I love his heart. He wants to work across the aisle. He wants to find ways to solve issues related to education, to life, to marriage. And I love his enthusiasm. I love his clear thinking and I think you’re gonna hear some amazing things today from this man.

John: Well, he has a very dramatic and inspirational story of being raised by a single mom and he talks about how a mentor impacted him. And he’s using life lessons that he’s picked up along the way to really help shape family-friendly policy.

Jim: And John, here’s the big historical fact that seems to be missed by some in the media. This is the first African-American elected in a post-reconstruction South to the Senate. That is a big deal. And you know what? It is the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King. When you hear him talk, it’s about who you are inside that matters and the character that you carry that matters. It doesn’t matter the color of your skin and Tim Scott is that kind of guy.

John: Let’s go ahead and listen to him now, as he talks with Jim Daly on “Focus on the Family.”

Body:

Jim: Senator Scott it … can I call you Tim?

Tim Scott: Tim is better than senator, yeah. (Laughter) I’ll be Tim for the rest of my life no matter what happens.

Jim: We’re always fumbling with that, but welcome to “Focus on the Family.”

Tim: Thank you, Jim, very much. It’s good to be with you.

Jim: Hey, I understand you’re only the seventh African-American senator to ever hold office in the Senate. That is unbelievable, but man, that is a milestone.

Tim: It’s a blessing from the Lord. It shows how much progress our country has made in such a short period of time and certainly speaks I think, volumes for South Carolina, as well. I tell ya, it’s been a blessing to be raised in the South, a blessing to be raised in this country and certainly, a blessing to be raised by my mom, who spent so much time encouraging me with a switch. (Laughter) and I often say a switch …

Jim: That could get us in trouble.

Tim: Well, it can today (Laughter). It didn’t then and it got me out of trouble by the way.

Jim: Yeah, isn’t that interesting?

Tim: It really is and I think it’s interesting. I always say that the switch is the southern apparatus of encouragement. (Laughter) My mama encouraged me a lot. I’ll tell you that she worked 16 hours a day as a nurse’s aide. So, she—

Jim: Oh, my.

Tim: –was at the entry level of the ladder to success, trying’ to support two of us, keeping us off of welfare, working those two shifts to do all that she could to make sure that we saw hard work. She wanted to model the behavior she wanted us to follow.

Jim: Oh. How did you form your core convictions, if I could say it that way? I mean, you’re also, I guess I could say it with respect, unusual in that, you’re a conservative. You believe in those conservative values. Tell me how all that came together for you.

Tim: I think it was a combination, even though I did not grow up with my father after the age of 7. He was a military guy, Air Force, retired Air Force now. We lived on Air Force bases growing up, so we had a strong appreciation and affinity for the military. My mother, once she became a Christian, she didn’t encourage faith, she demanded faith and my grandmother prayed for us, as well. So, I think I started off with a solid foundation of faith from my grandmother. As it says in second Timothy, first chapter, “Lois and Eunice.” Well, I had Lorita and Francis.” (Laughter) So, those two women helped me to see the right path. ‘

But I didn’t stay on it. I essentially flunked out of high school as a freshman. I failed world geography, civics. If you think about a senator failing civics, but I got to the Senate and realized it wasn’t such an uncommon experience! (Laughter) But I also failed Spanish and English—

Jim: Oh, man.

Tim: –and I joke, when you fail Spanish and English, they don’t call you “bilingual.”

Jim: (Laughing) Yeah, right.

Tim: They call you “bi-ignant,” ’cause you can’t speak any language.

Jim: Well, I mean, you obviously corrected that. What happened to where you corrected perhaps a distraction? ‘Cause you’re bright, intelligent. You probably had other motivation.

Tim: Absolutely. I was looking for attention and I found it in all the wrong ways and I reinforced my desire to have more of that negative attention. My mother truly threw a switch, encouraged me to go to summer school, which started that process of discipline plus encouragement. And then I met a mentor along the way. He was a Chik-fil-A operator–

Jim: (Chuckling) Is that right?

Tim: –a guy named John Moniz—

Jim: Oh, man.

Tim: — who died when I was 19; he was 38. He started teaching me that if you don’t like where you are, don’t blame your father, if he’s not around. Don’t blame your mom, because she’s working so hard. Look in the mirror and blame yourself.

And he started teaching me this notion of individual responsibility at a very core level. He didn’t pound it into my head. He simply on a consistent and continuous basis showed me what it meant to be responsible and second, encouraged me that the best was yet to come.

Jim: Hm.

Tim: And I love, of course, I love our country, but I love our country sometimes because it’s the land of second chances. It’s like our God is the God of second chances.

Jim: Absolutely.

Tim: That combination really started to change my trajectory. It changed my direction instantly and I think that’s how you change your destination. When we connect people to mentors who appreciate and love not only the potential in the person, but even the brokenness in the person, that’s where those cracks and crevices are filled with the love of God. It is a life transformative experience and nothing else can replace it.

Jim: Ah, that is so well-said. Talk about your mom and what you’re facing, because so many people can attach to that today.You know, we have a growing number of single-parent households. We get that. Even in the Christian community—

Tim: Absolutely.

Jim: –the number’s up, up, up. And you lived it; I lived it. Talk about that experience and what character it shaped for you.

Tim: Well, I’ll tell you, it was a humbling experience in so many ways. It was a painful experience, but it was also perhaps … I think Romans 8:28’s very important. “God will use all these things to work to our good for those of us who love God and are called according to His purpose.”

One of the things I look back and I see my failure in high school. I see my drifting early on. I remember vividly unfortunately, being 7-years-old, sitting on the side of a couch. We were on a[n] Air Force base in Michigan. My parents were splitting up. And I was thinkin’ to myself, if I could just play more quiet—

Jim: Uh.

Tim: –maybe they would stay together.

Jim: Oh, so you bore that responsibility.

Tim: And I think so many of us do. And the challenge I faced was just looking for a way to bridge the gap. And without finding it, frustration, irritation, and anger starts to manifest itself.

Through that manifestation, you find yourself on the wrong track. And I found myself on the wrong track. My mother never gave up. And if I ever had the opportunity to talk to single moms with hard-headed boys (Laughter), I will tell you that without any question, the Word of the Lord works. And if you don’t quit, most often amazing things in a positive way will happen, unfortunately years down the road.

Jim: Yeah, you have to invest like a seed.

Tim: It’s Proverbs 22:6 (Laughter), you know, training up a child in the way that he should go. It says, “when they’re old.” It doesn’t say they wouldn’t depart; it said when they’re old–

Jim: Right. (Chuckling)

Tim: –they wouldn’t depart. There’s a departing that happens between the youth and the older, that wisdom setting in. So, for me it was a hard challenging road, lots of potholes. I hit ’em all. I was just a rambunctious kid. My mother and my teachers said, “You were never really a bad kid. You were just looking for attention and whatever it took to get the attention, you were willing to do.” Fortunately for me, my mother dug in and she went, you know, toe to toe with me during the critical years.

Jim: How old? Like 14, 15?

Tim: Fourteen through 17, year, yeah. I mean, even …

Jim: She was holdin’ you accountable.

Tim: Oh, she was holding me accountable so much. I remember calling my grandmother. “See, grandma, she’s crazy. (Laughter) I’m now ready to move out.” And my grandmother said, “Well, you can’t. You gotta stay in that house.”

Jim: You were looking for a place with Grandma.

Tim: I was looking for any place to go and my grandmother really, she and my grandfather, we lived with them for five years and we had about a 900-square-foot home with two bedrooms, me and my mother and my brother shared one bed, one room for a long time.

I had a nurturing environment though. We didn’t have extra food and we didn’t have, you know, extra clothes. We—

Jim: Had just enough.

Tim: –we learned to make it all work. But I did learn how to appreciate love and affection, sometimes affection was a belt, but typically it was really good, so it was a hard time.

Jim: Where was your dad in that picture?

Tim: He was in the Air Force, so he was gone most of the time and when they were separated when I was 7, he didn’t play a major role. We’re still working on reconciliation. [It’s] been about 40 years. I’m a … I’m a slow learner and I’ve had to learn that the gift of forgiveness is important. And it’s important for the person who needs to do the forgiving, as much as it is for the person who may need to receive forgiveness.

Jim: It’s amazing. I mean, for me, my dad was an alcoholic and that strained our relationship terribly.

Tim: Yeah.

Jim: And he died when I was young, about 12-years-old. And when I look at that, the affection at times are the things that I do remember, him running his hand through my hair—

Tim: Yeah.

Jim: –him cooking Saturday breakfast.

Tim: I remember Sunday morning breakfast.

Jim: Yeah.

Tim: We had pancakes.

Jim: Yeah.

Tim: It’s amazing how those memories are etched into my cranial cavity.

Jim: Well–

Tim: There’s just there.

Jim: -yeah, there’s—

Tim: And they’re warm and—

Jim: –there’s a certain—

Tim: –fuzzy.

Jim: –resiliency. That’s what I love about the way God has created us.

Tim: Yes.

Jim: Even as a child with all the trauma you might experience, the Lord seems to still put a seed of resiliency there, that your dad could do great damage to you, not intentionally.

Tim: Right.

Jim: They’re probably coming out of horrible—

Tim: Situations themselves.

Jim: –upbringing, yeah. And so, you don’t understand that as a 12-year-old, a 7-year-old, but there’s still something there. You love your dad. You love your mom, even—

Tim: Absolutely.

Jim: –with all the failure.

Tim: And it’s interesting you’d say that, because one of the things I’ve learned is that my dad’s a good man. He’s flawed, but so am I.

Jim: Ah.

Tim: I would like to think that I will have the opportunity to receive forgiveness from those who say that I’ve wronged them, especially those where I was ignorant of the wrongdoing.

And to a large extent, my father’s to my knowledge has not given his life to the Lord. So, I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in this world without knowing my heavenly Father. When I was hungry for a dad and couldn’t find one and I committed my life at 11 to the Lord, one of the things I started doin’ was reading the Bible. When I recommitted my life at 18-years-old, I decided I would devour Scripture and get to know who my heavenly Father is, so that I would be in a position to live out His vision for my life. What do you do without that as a hope—

Jim: Yeah.

Tim: –as an opportunity?

Jim: Yeah.

Program Note:

John: Jim Daly, talking to Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina on today’s “Focus on the Family.” And we have a CD and download of the entire conversation at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio . And I hope you’ll comment about the program and share about it with your friends on our Facebook page.

End of Program Note

Jim: When you look at what’s going on in our country though, the divides.

Tim: Yes.

Jim: Where do we build bridges? How can we heal? How can we talk to each other? How can we look forward and say, okay, what do we need to do to construct a better pluralistic society?

Tim: I think one of the most important things that we can do is to realize that if each one will reach one, we can transform the country pretty quickly. I think it’s all of our responsibility to be our brother’s keeper. I think we really are our brother’s keepers.

And so, one of the key components to our successful transformation of America as we know it to the America that we could be in the future and we need to be, starts with the ability for us to get outside of our comfort zones, to go to places and go to people that are not like ourselves.

Promise Keepers really, I think, had it right when the seven promises of a promise keeper. One of the promises was, breaking down denominational and racial barriers. I think we’ve lost that a little bit. I think it’s easier to demonize the person you do not know. So, crossing the bridge to simply start a conversation, as my mentor did with me.

So, he had a successful Chik-fil-A operator [sic]. With really no incentive, no programs on his own, took the initiative to start delving into my life to show me what was inside of my own heart. He extracted some of the bad, encouraged the good and helped me create a path forward. If each of us saw that as our responsibility to meet people who are not like ourselves, we could see the real transformation of America very quickly.

Jim: Boy, that’s a powerful charge, if we could just do it.

Tim: Listen, I’m working with Cory Booker, who is a Democrat senator, much more liberal than I am, probably as liberal as I am conservative. We found solid ground on apprenticeship programs. We’re going to work together on, I believe, charter schools and educational remedies that will provide solutions. We’re looking for ways to look at the justice system and create a better path, help people avoid it.

That’s not politics. That’s two Americans, committed to the same cause, because we share a vision in that area. I don’t believe that we have to agree on all the issues for us to work together where we do agree.

Jim: Yeah, why is there such a divide there? I mean, I think the Pew Foundation, they did research and they showed that although it’s declining, there is significant overlap on the issues that we actually can find solution. So, I mean, you’re sitting in a Senate seat. What is goin’ on behind the scenes that the American people have lost so much confidence, if I could say it this way respectfully, in your lack of ability as a Senate, as a House, to find solutions to the problems we face, rather than just concentrate on keepin’ power?

Tim: I think there are a couple of key indicators on why the American people generically do not like the body from a holistic perspective. No. 1 is our country’s philosophically in a strong diametrically opposed position like they haven’t been previously. The way that our congressional districts are wired, it’s for Republicans and for Democrats. So, the ability and the necessity of reaching across the aisle is not as apparent as it used to be. Redistricting has changed the dynamics of congressional districts.

It’s different in the Senate. In the Senate, we have the responsibility to work across the aisle mostly because of the rules of the Senate. But what I think most folks are missing is, that the first step is rapport. Rapport means, we like each other enough to have a conversation. Without that first step, we don’t know whether we like each other or not. We just assume that you’re wrong and I’m right.

Jim: Hm.

Tim: The second step is, once you have rapport, you have to have credibility and then you can solve problems. You can present solutions and overcome objections. But without that initial step of rapport and credibility, it’s very difficult for us to get the country back on the right path.

Jim: Well, and for us as Christians, I mean, there is clear scriptural reference for us to pray for those in authority over us. That’s you.

Tim: Absolutely.

Jim: I want to commit to prayin’ for you.

Tim: Thank you.

Jim: And uh—

Tim: I desperately need it.

Jim: –and for all of us, how would you suggest that we in the Christian community, what kind of attitude should we approach the public square? I mean, there is so much polarization, but we as Christians, I’m of the conviction we need to always maintain that character of Christ, loving those who disagree with us, that are, you know, enemies of sorts. But Christ has been very clear that we need to pray for them and love them.

Tim: Absolutely.

Jim: How do we do that? Because politics seems to bring out our humanness more than any other vocation.

Tim: It does.

Jim: How do you keep your cool?

Tim: I would simply say, the couple things that would help us to, as Christians, stay on the right path, No. 1, see the other side as your opponent and not your enemy.

Jim: Hm.

Tim: That’s probably the most important step. Second is, remember Matthew 22:37 through 39. “Love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, all your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself.” From my perspective, that Scripture is pretty clear. I’m not sure where the interpretation is necessary. I don’t think interpretation is necessary.

So, what I would suggest is that we see the other side as someone who wants much of what I want. They just see how to get there differently. If we as Christians, took that tack, we would change the conversation in politics. What’s missing is an active engagement by the community of faith that is, in fact, the foundation of this country. It is a Judeo-Christian foundation. We have the responsibility as Christians to make sure that we are fully engaged in the process of choosing and praying and then, molding our leaders. This country is a servant-leader model. We are called first to serve, then to lead.

Jim: Hm.

Tim: Which means that we are first responsive and responsible to the people. There’s some songs that say, that are popular on the radio that talk about, you know, I saw someone who’s hungry, Lord, when are You gonna help? And He says, “I sent you.” I think Matthew 25 creates a clear path for who we should help. And it has a specific focus on widows and people who are incarcerated, has a specific focus on orphans.

But just think, maybe we’re the help that, that person’s looking for. And if we were intentional about engaging people not like ourselves, we’d make a lot of progress. And I think that would be fantastic to see pastors, black pastors and white pastors, working together–

Jim: For solutions.

Tim: –for solutions. And first they have to establish rapport though.

Jim: Right.

Tim: You can’t come looking for anything other than a relationship.

Jim: Right.

Tim: And then you have to work on that relationship as the foundation. And then after that foundation is strong, then you can move forward. There are a couple pastors in Colombia, South Carolina that are doing this specific thing. And they were intentional about finding each other.

Jim: Hm.

Tim: And now it’s been more than 10 years. The relationship blossoms. Their churches are working together. If we have that type of partnership everywhere in the Christian community, we would devastate devastation.

Jim: (Chuckling) Yeah, that’s good—devastate devastation.

Tim: We would; we would annihilate it—

Jim: Man.

Tim: –by working together with one heart, with one vision, unto one God.

Jim: Hm. I do want to capture your heart for the poor. It’s one of the things–

Tim: Absolutely.

Jim: –for us in conservative circles, we’re uneasy with the way government addresses that, I think. And–

Tim: Yes.

Jim: –you know, the church has a role, but how effective are the churches at delivering aid today? I don’t see it as effective as what the government has to do right now. How do we become better at serving the poor in the Christian community? There are many good people doing great work, but this is one of your core passions.

Tim: Absolutely.

Jim: What do we gotta do?

Tim: Well, first thing, I’ll tell you what my pastor and I did. I go to a church called Seacoast, great church, in Charleston. And Greg and I got in my car and I took him on a drive through some of the most impoverished areas of my community. I wanted him to see firsthand not only where I lived, but where the potential for change and transformation really starts.

I love the fact that we do mission work in India and China and Africa. You can do really good mission work. I think we need to “intracountry” mission work.

Jim: Uh-hm.

Tim: That would be one of the challenges I would submit that would be a life-changing experience for folks. We went around. So, first thing you would do in my opinion is go visit those areas that you’re not accustomed to visiting.

Jim: Uh-hm.

Tim: See what the need is. I did something called “The Undercover Senator” for the last several months. I worked at the Goodwill side by side, not as a senator. I put on some jeans and some clothes and just went and worked. I worked at a burrito restaurant. I bagged groceries, so I would have the experience of talking to folks. I rode the public transportation system undercover, so that I could ask the question. “What do you need? What are you lookin’ for? What are you expecting out of your life?”

Hunger for opportunity, devastating educational experiences. So, too often and I would say 8 out of 10 times, the person barely finished high school or did not. This is a major component to solving poverty from my role in government. It’s not how much more can we give. It’s how do you prepare the foundation? The foundation besides faith and family is education.

Jim: Yeah.

Tim: It you find the root, the tap root to prosperity, you can solve poverty. Fight poverty doesn’t seem to work. Creating a path to prosperity I believe will help us solve the problem of poverty–

Jim: Hm.

Tim: –in our nation.

Jim: I think it’s well-said. I think when you look at it, that area of education particularly, Chuck Colson before he passed away, called me and wanted to collaborate, to work together. And he said something that was, as he would normally say, quite profound. But he said, it is immoral to impoverish a child in certain schools today. We are giving them a death sentence.

Tim: Totally.

Jim: Would you agree?

Tim: The way I say it is, your Zip Code should not decide the quality of your education. If you’re living in the wrong Zip Code in most of America, that means you’re gonna go to a[n] underperforming school and your chances of success are dimming, dimming.

We can do something about that and that’s one of the reasons why I believe giving the parent as many choices gives the child the best chance, whether it’s charter schools or public school choice or private school choice or homeschool, the fact of the matter is, how we lay the foundation will be the strength or the lack thereof of that person’s life.

Jim: Senator Tim Scott, man, this has flown by. I have—

Tim: Thank you.

Jim: –so enjoyed talking to you.

Tim: This has been a lot of fun. This is one of the reasons why I’ve been listening to the show for the last 30 years.

Jim: (Chuckling) Adventures in Odyssey.

Tim: Exactly (Laughter), because we were talking about that earlier. Because you guys are giving life and sharing hope, real hope, which is defined in our Scripture. It’s the end of 1 Corinthians 13, faith, hope and love. The greatest of these is love. But hope isn’t a bad second. The more we restore hope, the greater our opportunity to share love.

Jim: Wow, that is well-said again and it has been great to talk with you. Let’s keep the conversation going.

Tim: Good, Jim.

Jim: And we’ll tap you from time to time just to see how you’re doin’ and what the next battle is.

Tim: Well, there’s always another one.

Jim: (Laughing) Yeah, that’s for sure.

Tim: Thank you.

Closing:

John: Senator Tim Scott on “Focus on the Family” and what a good man. We’re so glad for this chance for you to hear from him. Jim, you really enjoyed that interchange. It was very obvious.

Jim: You know, I just feel, you know, like close-knittedness to Tim Scott. He’s a brother in Christ. And you could feel it; I felt it. And I enjoyed the conversation very much and I wish him well. I hope God puts His hand of blessing on him and everything that he does.

The other thing I like about Tim Scott, he wants to find solutions. I think our nation is desperate for that right now. He wants to work across the aisle. I think that’s a good thing when it comes to education and some of the other areas where there are Democrats, too that want to do that. They are there. We know them and I think the time is right for a good discussion about what will help our country become better. And it’s people like Tim Scott that are gonna be able to achieve it.

John: Well, if you’d like to hear a bit more from Senator Tim Scott, we do have an extended version of the program on CD or available as a download. We can tell you more when you call 800-A-FAMILY or you’ll find it at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio .

I’ll also encourage you to get a copy of Jim’s book called ReFocus, which encourages us to take a Christ-like approach to engaging those around us who might disagree with us, something that Tim Scott obviously has to do day in and day out as he serves in the Senate. That book available, as well when you call or at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio .

Our program was provided by Focus on the Family and made possible by generous listeners like you. And on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for listening. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back tomorrow. We’ll have Vicki Courtney with us, offering trusted advice about talking with your son regarding those important issues in life, as we provide more encouragement and hope to help your family thrive.