Dr. Gregory Jantz: We wanna have purpose and passion, but unbridled passion, which is what happened to me, unbridled led me on a journey that ended up in significant burnout. Physically, I really wasn’t well. Emotionally, I wasn’t well. This is my confession. And so, I have all the warning signs now ’cause I know what I’m not ever gonna go back to.
John Fuller: If you’re stressed and worn down and lacking motivation in the midst of a busy, hectic life, this conversation is for you. Dr. Gregory Jantz is here to help you as we address the subject of burnout.
Welcome to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller.
Jim Daly: John, uh, man, you’re kinda describing where I’m living right now. That’s what-
John: Really?
Jim: … I was … (laughs) Yeah. I just got back from a overseas trip. I’m here five days, off to another overseas trip, so I’m feeling a little guilty.
John: Little burnout.
Jim: Yeah, little burnout about what’s goin’ on. But what a great topic that we have for you today, and we’re gonna cover some wonderful material by our good friend, Dr. Gregory Jantz, who has been with us numerous times.
And I’m telling ya, I feel it, too. Burnout is, uh, right there for all of us. And you might be a work-at-home mom, and you’re feeling a burnout ’cause you wear so many hats, and we get that.
You might be working outside the home, and you’re gonna be facing some burnout from time to time. So, today we want to allow the scripture to come alive for you, where the Lord says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Well, let’s talk about how the Lord will give you that rest.
John: Hmm. And Dr. Gregory Jantz is the founder of The Center A Place of HOPE in Edmonds, Washington. He’s a pioneer in something called Whole Person Care, and he’s a real innovator in the treatment of mental health, including spiritual counseling. His book on this topic is short and easy to get to, but it’s so deep and rich. It’s called Beyond Burnout: Regain Your Passion and Energy. And you can, uh, uh, find details about the book at our website, and that’s focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
Jim: Dr. Jantz, welcome back to Focus on the Family. It’s so good to have you again.
Dr. Jantz: It is always good to have time with you.
Jim: Now, I kind of self-disclose my little busy schedule-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … but, you know, a- a- after I said that, I thought, “You know, busyness is not always burnout. It’s just busyness,” but how, uh, with the distinction between… being busy and then hitting burnout, what’s the difference?
Dr. Jantz: Sure, and burnout’s a interesting term-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … because what’s burnout to you might not be to me, and we all have our stage of burnout.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And here’s how to know if you’re there. By the way, I want you to be busy and active and full of passion, and that does not mean you’ll be burned out.
Jim: Right. That’s my point.
Dr. Jantz: Um, yes, ’cause y- y- … Part of that can be renewing to you, and you have purpose in doing it, um, but there reaches a point where we’re no longer doing our basic self-care. Um, our nutrition is poor. Our sleep is poor. Our relationships are suffering a bit, and maybe we’re in a period of chronic stress. There’s just a lot goin’ on, and, and, and you just keep going ’cause it’s chronic stress, but hey. I can handle this.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And I keep going, keep going, but one day, and this is what happened to me, so this … I’m telling you about what happened to me. One day, and I’ll ha- … I had good intention. I, I loved what I was doing, but I was living with a lot of chronic stress. I woke up, and it just … I hit the wall. And I remember feeling the feeling it takes energy just to breathe. I remember like, “Ah, man. I am so,” and the word was “depleted.”
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: I am so depleted physically. I’m definitely depleted, um, emotionally. And physically, I’m not well. And, uh, it hit me.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: I was in official burnout.
Jim: So, burnout, I mean, it can … Is it usually, uh, uh, either physical or maybe mental or both? If it’s burnout, you’re usually experiencing both a mental fatigue-
Dr. Jantz: Uh-
Jim: … as well as a physical?
Dr. Jantz: There’s gonna be the mental fatigue, the … but it’s beyond fatigue. It’s that-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … total depletion.
Jim: Huh.
Dr. Jantz: I’m in emotional exhaustion. I’m depleted, and I, I enter a zone of apathy. When I’m burned out, it’s like, “Oh, I don’t even ha- … I don’t have the energy to care. I’m-”
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: ” … I am so fried I don’t even care anymore.” That’s-
Jim: Wow.
Dr. Jantz: That’s burnout.
Jim: Now, when we look at the impact of burnout in the culture, I mean-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … the statistics, the way you’re describing that is astounding because it’s like 70% of people in the course of a year will experience some form of burnout.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah, and burn-
Jim: That’s, like, super high.
Dr. Jantz: Uh, and it … And it is.
Jim: (laughs) Oh, wow.
Dr. Jantz: And, a- and what we do know is that… that black hole of burnout, um, can be quite destructive to your … to physical well-being and what it does to you-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … physically. Um, in my case, I love the vision that God gave us, and I was being faithful to it, but I had no boundaries. I didn’t have time boundaries. So, if somebody needed to be seen, oh, sure. And so, I was working into every evening, and then we extended my schedule to Saturdays.
Jim: Ooh.
Dr. Jantz: And then I’m doin’ Saturdays, and, and I, I have to … I’m loving what I’m doing, but I ended up not practicing what I was preaching.
John: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Now-
Jim: Interesting. Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … this has … This has been years ago-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … um, but I had a big crash.
Jim: You know what’s interesting with that, and I wanna hear the, the … how you tidied-
Dr. Jantz: (laughs)
Jim: … that up, but any people in the care field-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … ’cause I’m thinking of pastors. Pastors have a high degree of burnout as well-
Dr. Jantz: Absolutely.
Jim: … but people that care for other people, uh, tend to have a high rate of burnout because when do you say no? And there is, like, a, a moral conviction that you’re saying no. I mean-
Dr. Jantz: Ri- right.
Jim: … and Jesus faced this too. He could’ve healed everybody. Think of it. There’s a lot of disease going on, but he would heal some, and then he would retreat-
Dr. Jantz: There was a rest break.
Jim: … for rest.
Dr. Jantz: (laughs) Yeah. Yeah.
Jim: Right, but, but-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … think of that. Even the son of God-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … needed to stop and replenish-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … yet it feels like … You know, again, if you’re in a help industry, like, if mental health-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … or church or Christian work or you name it, it … This place will take everything you give it, and it will … You can give a lot.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah, absolutely.
Jim: And you need to learn to say no, but how hard was that for you?
Dr. Jantz: For me, again… Most of us have really good intention.
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: I really wanted to d- … And, “Okay. I’m doing what God called me to do.” But after a while, well, I, I’m embarrassed to say, but, you know, I would … I wouldn’t be past working on a Sunday afternoon. So, I was not practicing the things that I was preaching. And I really did… I’d had that day I woke up, and I go, “I’m not functioning, and, and I’m not doing well.”
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And I had to give my (laughs) schedule, um, my life. I’d … In a word, burnout can create you’re outta control. I was outta control, with good intention, and it wasn’t that long ago ’cause I have a before picture and a after picture. I’m in my after picture now, but, uh, LaFon, uh, b- … My wife, said … Uh, we were looking, and I go … Yeah. I was telling the story, and she goes, “You know, you look a lot better now than you did then.” (laughs)
John: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: Okay. This is years ago. (laughs)
Jim: Yeah. Wow.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Um, because I was not taking care of myself.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: I felt horrible. So, burnout can lead you to depression. Can lead you to anxiety. And here’s what we really need to also look at. It’s a spiritual apathy. It’s like God doesn’t care. People don’t really understand. So, you really do begin to feel like you’re isolated.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: You’re alone.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And nobody can understand. And so, burnout is telling us we’ve gotta make some changes. And I’ve actually never been happier in, in the work and the calling that we’re doing than I am now, um. But I, I wouldn’t have made it if I hadn’t made changes.
Jim: Yeah. What are some other physical and then what are some of those mental signs that we need to be aware of that we’re approaching burnout or we’re in burnout?
Dr. Jantz: Um, my relationships were suffering. Um, and I was not plugged in well in my Christian community. I had slowly isolated. I used to do so many fun runs. Uh, a- a- and I’m doin’ ’em again. Um-
Jim: Did you say “fun” and “run”-
Dr. Jantz: Fun and run, I know. Uh, I know.
Jim: … in the same line?
Dr. Jantz: That’s crazy.
Jim: (laughs) There is, uh, nothing fun-
Dr. Jantz: Okay.
Jim: … about a run. (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: So, so, just last weekend, I sign up for this run, okay, ’cause … And, and I do it. And it’s freezing cold and so forth. And so, I decide, “Oh, I’ll stay for the awards presentation.”
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: I stayed for the awards presentation, and they called my name.
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: I got a second-place ribbon for my age category.
John: Whoa.
Jim: There you go.
Dr. Jantz: I go, “Okay. I’m gonna keep running.” (laughs)
John: (laughs)
Jim: Totally unexpected. Now they’ve hooked you.
Dr. Jantz: But, but that’s a part of the self-care.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: That’s just a part of the self-care.
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: So, for me, I had to decide, “Okay. How am I gonna really take care of myself?” You know, and, and my oldest son said, “Hey, Dad. It looks like all those vitamins you take are working.” (laughs)
Jim: (laughs) Well, and they’re probably helping, but it’s not-
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: … the whole story.
Dr. Jantz: It’s not the whole story.
Jim: In the book, you mentioned a story about Keisha, I think-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … her name was. And, uh, she came to you for counseling. I’m sure you’ve changed the names, uh-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … but she’d been through a divorce and financial issues, parenting issues. And, uh, I think she was a single parent.
Dr. Jantz: She was a single parent.
Jim: So, it was all coming down. W- what was her-
Dr. Jantz: And I think one of the things that happened was, um, the ex-husband stopped paying child support. Finances was huge. She was really trying to keep life together.
Jim: So, all the normal stress of life.
Dr. Jantz: All the normal, and then she had a teenage son that discovered alcohol.
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: And then that, as you can imagine, picture of stress and burnout. And she really reached that point where it was beyond burnout. It was, “I can’t manage anything.” And so, here she is, single parent, really trying, and I … Knowing her, she was trying to do a great job, and, and she m- … had things that were working against her. And so, she entered a zone of burnout. And, uh, for her, it was a decision to come and get some help. My life’s outta control. Uh, and lot of it was not … It wasn’t self-induced. It was what was the situation she was in.
Jim: In fact, I think you put it under that category, streamline your stress.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: And so, it’s not getting rid of everything, but having the presence of mind to say, “What can I manage here, and what do I have to stop worrying about?”
Dr. Jantz: Absolutely.
Jim: And it’s, it’s like taking an inventory, right?
Dr. Jantz: It is taking inve-
Jim: So, h- h- … Functionally for her, just as, uh, an example for the rest of us, with all of those issues you stated that she was dealing with, how did she sort out what to concentrate on and what to-
Dr. Jantz: Okay.
Jim: … let go?
Dr. Jantz: Um, what are the things I have control or power over that I can influence, and, and, uh, what is totally outta my control? I can’t con-
Jim: And those are the right questions.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah. And she actually made a list. And then we developed an action plan for, um, like, uh, how are we gonna get her son the help that he needs?
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: That’s a major stress point. Having a teenage son, as you know, and, um, alcohol or drugs and, and, and you feel like they’re just slipping away from you. And so, how do we do, uh, an appropriate intervention into that situation? So, she came to the realization she couldn’t do this alone.
Jim: No, that’s really good. Uh, the other key that you mentioned in this little read, I mean, it’s not a big book. It’s, it’s more like a booklet, but it covers so much good stuff.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: I mean, so that third key was-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … how to find sanity through simplicity, and-
Dr. Jantz: Okay.
Jim: … everybody said, “Yes.”
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: (laughs) So-
Dr. Jantz: Okay. Well-
Jim: How do you do that?
Dr. Jantz: Oh.
Jim: Please, quickly, Dr. Jantz. Tell me.
Dr. Jantz: Okay. Well, one of it’s to declutter. And I-
Jim: Oh, no.
Dr. Jantz: And I know.
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: I know.
Jim: You just gotta start with that one?
Dr. Jantz: One i- … One is to declutter. So, every year, towards the beginning year, our family gets together. We don’t really call it family m- … Well, it’s goals, but it’s … We have a family meeting at the beginning of each year. And what are we gonna focus on this year? I had one w- … The Lord gave me one word for the- … for the new year. My one word was “thrive.”
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: And what do I need to do in my life to keep thriving for Him? Okay. And then my wife, who wanted her … Her word was “declutter”-
Jim: (laughs) Very practical.
Dr. Jantz: … but, but she had it, “Declutter times two.” What is declutter times two? And she goes-
Jim: Ah.
Dr. Jantz: So, she had a, a, a formula, and it’s the funniest thing because things are changing around our house. (laughs)
Jim: Yeah. Here we go.
Dr. Jantz: It, it’s good.
Jim: I thought that formula w- … meant, “I’ll declutter. That’s one.”
Dr. Jantz: (laughs)
Jim: “You declutter. That’s two.”
John: Yeah. (laughs)
Jim: “Declutter times two.”
Dr. Jantz: Times two.
Jim: “Me and you.”
Dr. Jantz: Yeah. She said … And her goal was, “Every day, I’m just gonna do two things that represent.”
Jim: Oh.
Dr. Jantz: But decluttering’s not just physical space. Decluttering might be even unhealthy relationship. Decluttering how I’m spending my time.
Jim: Huh.
Dr. Jantz: So, how do I declutter? Yes. Physical and space is important, but part of dealing with burnout is, “Okay. Where do I need to declutter emotionally, physically, in my space?” And the other piece is, uh, “Am I procrastinating?”
John: Hmm.
Jim: Ouch.
Dr. Jantz: When you’re burned out, you tend to procrastinate a lot.
John: And that just hangs there.
Jim: (laughs)
John: Uh, this is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller, and our guest today is Dr. Gregory Jantz and, uh, has … As Jim has mentioned, there’s a short little book, but it’s so rich in so many ways. It’s called Beyond Burnout: Regain Your Passion and Energy. Dr. Jantz has written this. Get a copy from us here at the ministry. We’ve got details for you at the website. The link is at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or call 800, the letter A, and the word “FAMILY.”
Jim: Right. The fourth concept that you mentioned is-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … uh, bolster your body. Now, I can do that through a gallon of ice cream.
Dr. Jantz: You could…
Jim: … but that’s not what you’re talking about.
Dr. Jantz: Well, what are the small things that I could do that will add up and make a difference? And I know we’ve joked a bit about water and how the role of water… but when we’re burned out, we tend to drink more stimulants. You know, we go for the energy drink, or we drink the 10 cups of coffee a day. But look. Water improves concentration. Water improves mood. Mmmm. So, you know, if you get a little irritable, just, hey, have you had your water? Um, water helps with metabolism. Water helps blood pressure, et cetera. So-
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: … um, part of the burnout plan is start drinking your water.
Jim: Now, here’s the key, and everybody … Uh, there’s different formulas. How much water should a person drink per day?
Dr. Jantz: Well, and there are different formulas, aren’t there?
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Yes. Here’s what I do. I’d have six bottles, and I have ’em on my desk. My goal-
Jim: And you wanna be done with those through the day.
Dr. Jantz: My goal is, yep, if it’s by two o’clock, I, I should be getting towards the end ’cause, otherwise, it’s not gonna happen.
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: So, my mi-
Jim: Or refill-
Dr. Jantz: My midday checkpoints. So, just-
Jim: … six times-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … on your-
Dr. Jantz: So, that’s my-
Jim: So, how many ounces is that?
Dr. Jantz: That’s personal goal.
Jim: 80, 90 ounces?
Dr. Jantz: Probably at least, yeah.
Jim: Okay.
Dr. Jantz: So, but, uh, I do a lot better if I’m drinking the water. And one of the things that I wanna look at too is, is your sleep.
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And when we’re burned out, we probably are s- … exhausted, but we’re probably staying up late. We’re probably into social media or we’re online. Um, how can I begin to put a boundary around that?
Jim: Yes, that’s good. Oh. Do you stay up late?
John: (laughs) Me?
Jim: I’m in bed by nine. It’s kinda funny. My boys are now going, “Dad, come on.”
Dr. Jantz: (laughs)
Jim: But 9:00, 9:30, boop. I’m out.
Dr. Jantz: Okay. That’s good.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: That’s good.
Jim: But I wake up early though too.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: So-
Dr. Jantz: M-
Jim: 4:30-5, I’m starting to stir-
Dr. Jantz: Yes. Okay.
Jim: … but I’m out early.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: All right. Well, you’re, you’re doing good. And so, sleep and mental health is a huge issue.
The other big issue, and there’s several, is what we put in our mouth. Okay. When you’re burned out, oh, it’s so easy. Do the bag of chips. You know, do the ice cream. You want it quick and easy, and-
Jim: Is that stress-related though-
Dr. Jantz: It can be.
Jim: … that we go that direction?
Dr. Jantz: Yeah. You probably notice when you’re irritable and you’re frustrated, you love the hard and crunchy. You … And you’re goin’ through the chips, right? If you’re depressed, you like smooth and sweet, you know, the ice-
Jim: Wow, there’s a formula-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah. (laughs)
John: (laughs)
Jim: … to this. I didn’t realize.
Dr. Jantz: So, yeah. (laughs)
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: If I’m depressed, you know, the ice cream’s pretty good.
Jim: I might be Dr. Jekyll-
Dr. Jantz: (laughs)
Jim: … and Mr. Hyde, salty, sweet-
Dr. Jantz: (laughs) So-
Jim: … all in the same hour.
Dr. Jantz: So, here you go-
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: … but, um, here’s the thing. Usually, when we’re burned out, we’re not getting adequate pro … um, a general statement, adequate protein in the morning. So, have a protein, even if it’s a protein drink, a yogurt. I want you to get protein in the morning.
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: You generally, within one hour of waking up, I want you to fuel your brain. Okay?
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: We’re just talking about taking some baby steps.
Jim: Yeah. That’s good, and that’s all on bolstering the body. So-
Dr. Jantz: Bolstering the body.
Jim: … again, this little booklet will have all of that. Greg, let’s move to get through these.
Fortifying your filters, man, we take so much infor- … We are information deluged today.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: I mean, so much stuff is coming at us that can create a sense of burnout or anxiety, depression, whatever it might be.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: How do we manage those filters? You… And one thing my wife’s doing now, which is terrific, she’s just unplugged from news on purpose-
John: Hmm.
Jim: … ’cause she just doesn’t want to carry the burden of what’s happening around the world and in this nation every moment of the day.
Dr. Jantz: And we don’t wanna carry it every moment of the day. And, and for some, um, w- w- we get into the doom scrolling and we get overwhelmed. And then there’s always the, “Well, what’s true? Is this true?” And it gets really confusing.
So, as I think about, uh, the filter, w- what are you allowing in? What are you allowing in? And in your social media feeds, do you have some positive ones? (laughs) Do you have some people speaking a good word, right?
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Um, or are you all the, uh, doom and gloom?
Jim: Yeah. Start with devotions.
Dr. Jantz: So, yeah.
Jim: How ’bout that?
Dr. Jantz: How … Start with renewing your mind.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And I can tell you personally, (laughs) it makes a huge difference. Now, I’m one, I like to know what’s goin’ on, so I can easily fall into that.
Jim: Me too.
Dr. Jantz: Um, and I can look at politics and, uh, our state and then get all upset about it and … but, um, we’ve tried to be more a part of the solution versus dwelling on the negative. But so, your filters, just what are you allowing in?
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Is it primarily negative? And by that, that’s also people. Do you have some people in your life that are real drainers? They are just kinda sucking the life out of you every time (laughs) you see them.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Okay? That’s a filter to be aware of.
Jim: Well, and, again, uh, we wanna emphasize. Uh, uh, we kinda hit that lightly, but getting into the Word and letting the Word soak into you so that your prioritization, your foundation, is the right foundation so you can weather these other things.
Dr. Jantz: Uh, and sometimes you, you, you … I know you know me with my three by five cards, but it’s pulling out a … and having a one verse that’s gonna be my, my mental reset.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Okay, and I’m gonna say it out loud. And maybe you need to take a … bolster your body as well and go outside and go for that 20-minute walk and pull out that verse and say that verse out loud-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … but, uh, do a mental reset as well.
Jim: You know, we mentioned Jesus retreating.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Uh, speak more specifically to that, the fact that Jesus, uh, being a great example, the best example for us, demonstrating that balanced lifestyle, you know, that you, you, you gotta certainly have time to feast, have time to do the work, in His case, healing, the sick, the maim, the deaf, the … you know, and then confronting-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … the religious zealots of the day that didn’t have the right message-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: … but he demonstrated how to be active in all these fronts and still be healthy.
Dr. Jantz: And I believe that’s called self-care. And that’s called, um … Part of it is… the time for rest. We don’t live in a culture that promotes rest. And with rest comes renewal, comes renewal in my spirit, renewal in my body. So, there’s huge benefits to rest.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And I know for me, ’cause I’m easily wound up, okay. It’s like, “Oh, okay. Well, oh, we’re just resting. Right.” (laughs)
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: Where I feel like I should be doing something.
Jim: Why, why culturally do we undervalue rest?
Dr. Jantz: So, we don’t have a lot of models of it. (laughs)
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: Right? (laughs)
Jim: Well, we … And, uh, you know.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: We employ, you know, 770 people here at Focus, and I don’t walk through the halls going, “Be restful. Go take a nap. It’s noon.”
Dr. Jantz: Huh.
Jim: I mean, it’s just not what we do in the workplace either.
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: You know.
Dr. Jantz: But I have to have points of personal renewal in order to be really effective in the workplace-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: … as well.
Jim: So, how do you get that rest? I mean, again, this is a simple concept but applying it can be difficult. So, we always talk about, you know, give it a good eight to five, you know?
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: Work hard during the day. You get eight hours of work, eight hours of family time, and eight hours of sleep. Um, is that a good formula?
Dr. Jantz: Yes, um, though-
Jim: With some asterisks. I-
Dr. Jantz: Y- yes-
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: … but there, there’s, there’s some, uh, grace points. There’s seasons where, like, I may have a deadline, or I may have to do something in a evening. Okay-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: … but you won’t find me doing that every evening. Okay? There’s certain periods. There’s certain seasons.
Jim: What if your spouse is saying to you, “You say that, but that’s not what I see?”
John: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Well, I think I better listen. (laughs)
Jim: Well, yeah.
Dr. Jantz: (laughs) Yeah.
Jim: That’d be a good first step-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah, yeah.
Jim: … but, I mean, I think some couples would say that.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: I mean, Gina said that to me from time to time.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: “You know, you, you don’t think you’re working as hard as you … I think you actually are.”
Dr. Jantz: Okay. Yeah.
Jim: And it just arrests your-
Dr. Jantz: So-
Jim: … attention. Say, why?
Dr. Jantz: So, part of being receptive to feedback is a sign of, uh, emotional health. So, sometimes it’s hard to hear. Sometimes I may not necessarily agree, but I do need to listen.
Jim: And spouses are typically more knowledgeable about that than we are. (laughs) I mean, really.
Dr. Jantz: Well, I’ve learned it goes a lot better if I listen to the feedback.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: And more times, it is correct. (laughs)
Jim: Yeah. So … (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: This is a self-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah. Yeah.
Jim: … a self, uh, look here. That’s good. Right toward the end here.
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: Let’s, um, let’s make sure people hear us. How do we get these margins in our life? How do we concentrate? Uh, do, do you use a, like, a journal? Do you write on a three by five card?
Dr. Jantz: (laughs)
Jim: How I’m in a fine margin today?
Dr. Jantz: Um, I do write. I’m old. I’m old-fashioned. I actually write it down.
Jim: I guess we could put it in our phones.
Dr. Jantz: (laughs) So, you could-
Jim: They do have-
Dr. Jantz: How … Whatever works for you.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: I’m, I’m the guy that writes it down, and I literally draw a line through things as I … as I do them, and i- it’s hilarious. My wife … Years and years ago, she called it a Einstein pad. She gave me a pad. It’s setting nearby. I put it in my … And, uh, and it’s a pad, uh, and I have a pen, and, uh, and I’m… I’m writing as things come to mind as a part of mental declutter.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So-
Jim: I don’t do that very well.
Dr. Jantz: (laughs)
Jim: No, seriously, I’m jealous.
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: I mean, in the metaphorically-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … because I’ve never been really a big, uh, pad carrying person. I try to hold it all in my head and then get to the desk at four o’clock and try to remember everything. Be far easier to do it that way. (laughs)
Dr. Jantz: Well, (laughs) uh, but we all have our different ways of m- … of managing, uh, ideas-
Jim: Right.
Dr. Jantz: … ’cause I’m noticing that I may get idea and I want a place to put ’em down.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Yes. And so, there’s-
Jim: And dictating is probably another, but my-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … boys would do that on the phone, just-
Dr. Jantz: Sure.
Jim: … note, note to self.
Dr. Jantz: Mm-hmm.
Jim: So, we gotta remember that.
Dr. Jantz: This could be a part of the mental declutter.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: Yeah. ‘Member, with burnout, we procrastinate. We probably have a lot of, uh, clutter in our life. It’s not always papers. Um, so looking for different areas of potential clutter, um, in your life, but burnout causes you to stop doing the good things.
John: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: So, what were the things that you stopped doing? I stopped exercising when I was burned out.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: And it showed.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jantz: I stopped reading my Bible-
Jim: Hmmm. Think of that.
Dr. Jantz: And it showed.
Jim: Yeah, and it showed. Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: So-
Jim: Those are…
Dr. Jantz: … um, but just look at the things that have slowly dropped by the wayside.
Jim: Yeah. When you … At the end here, you know, we’re right at the, the last minute, um, uh, how the Lord sees us in that way, I mean, we’re, we’re vessels that He created for-
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … His purpose. And when we’re not mindful of these things, we are diminishing actually His capacity to work through us when we become incapacitated, right, m- … because we can’t-
Dr. Jantz: Right.
Jim: … physically do things. We can’t mentally be in touch with people around us, et cetera.
Dr. Jantz: A- and I want you to have purpose and passion.
Jim: Hmm.
Dr. Jantz: We wanna have purpose and passion, but unbridled passion, which is what happened to me, unbridled led me on a journey that ended up in significant burnout. Physically, I really wasn’t well.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Jantz: Emotionally, I wasn’t well. This is my confession. And so, I have all the warning signs now ’cause I know what I’m not ever gonna go back to.
Jim: Ah. That’s good.
Dr. Jantz: Okay. And I, I see the warning signs, uh, or my wife does, and she’ll say, (laughs) say so, but, but I don’t ever wanna go back. I don’t wanna relearn that.
Jim: Yeah. I think that’s wise.
Dr. Jantz: It was, uh, dark days.
Jim: Yeah, totally. If you’re in that spot, uh, get in touch with us. Get a copy of, uh, Gregg Jantz’s great, uh, book, Beyond Burnout: Regain Your Passion–
Dr. Jantz: Yes.
Jim: … and Energy. I think when you read the title, you’re going, “Yeah. I need that.” And, uh, it’d be a great starting point. It’s a quick read, but it’s powerful, and it goes through several keys that you could begin to turn that burnout around and, uh, make the corrections you need to make. And that probably, from a human perspective, is always so difficult to change things, but, to your point-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … that’s a lesson you don’t wanna go back to. And I think for those-
Dr. Jantz: Yeah.
Jim: … that are living in it, you wanna get to where Dr. Jantz is today, and that is saying, “I never wanna go back there.”
Dr. Jantz: And we, we won’t do it perfectly, but we’re gonna keep growing, and we’re gonna keep goin’ forward, and we’re gonna live with that passion and purpose that God has given us. And we can do that without being burned out.
Jim: Amen. So, get ahold of us. Get a copy. Send a gift of any amount, and we’ll send it as our way of saying, “Thank you for being part of the ministry and helping others.”
John: Yeah. Donate today when you call 800, the letter A, and the word “family,” or you can donate and get the details at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
And coming up next time, understanding how your childhood experiences will impact your marriage.
Amy Cameron: Reactivity, you know, we think of our nervous system going into fight or flight. I had to realize, “Hey, like, when I’m angry, like, what’s underneath there?” And, usually, there’s an unmet need that you can link back to childhood.
John: On behalf of the entire team, thanks for joining us for Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.
