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Advent Reflections for Couples

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Advent Reflection - Painting of husband and wife driving wagon, with church, playing children, and ladies in the background by Morgan Weistling.
Morgan Weistling
Seasonal devotions based on a frontier painting by Morgan Weistling

After an inspiring Advent service at church, a seasoned married couple climbed into their buckboard wagon and headed for home. Along the way, they reflected on the Scriptures various families had read aloud during the service about the coming of Immanuel, “God with us” (Matthew 1:23). Gratitude filled their hearts as they pondered the miraculous birth of Jesus and God’s gift of salvation through His only Son.

As the wagon meandered along the winding dirt road, their conversation turned to rich memories of the life they had shared together on the rugged Western frontier. In all the hardships they had endured through the years, their love and commitment as a couple had deepened, and their faith in Christ had flourished. And gratitude flooded their hearts once again as they reflected on these precious gifts.

This year, Advent begins Sunday, Dec. 3. Focus on the Family has created four devotions for couples, one for each Sunday of Advent, based on a frontier painting named “A Lasting Love” by Morgan Weistling. Our prayer is that they will enrich your reflections on the gift of God’s Son this Christmas season and help you draw closer to each other and to your heavenly Father in the special moments you share.

December 3

Caleb gazed longingly at a lovely young woman across the road from where he stood. Frontier life could be lonely without a good woman to share it with. Few that he knew had the grit, faith and resilience to endure the hardships of this life. Yet he had a feeling she just might be such a woman, and maybe she was trying to catch his attention and he could strike up a conversation with her.

Most relationships that lead to marriage begin with the hope that love will blossom and grow. Hope sustains couples through the awkwardness of learning more about each other. Mary and Joseph’s betrothal likely began with that kind of hope. But when the angel Gabriel announced that Mary would become the mother of God’s own Son through the power of the Holy Spirit, she was filled with wonder. And she probably felt some trepidation about the difficult conversations she would have with her parents and Joseph when she shared the miraculous news. But hope doesn’t shy away from difficult conversations. Instead, Mary embraced her calling and rejoiced in God her Savior (Luke 1:47).

As you reflect on the birth of the One who brought the light and hope of salvation to a sin-darkened world, put yourselves in Mary’s and Joseph’s sandals. Imagine the conversations they might have had on the journey to Bethlehem as a new husband and wife.

Advent reflection:

God uses ordinary people to live out His extraordinary purposes. How has He used you in each other’s lives? How has He used you individually and as a couple to carry out His purposes and bring hope to the world?

Prayer:

Dear heavenly Father, You bring hope to all who rely on You for strength and direction. Please draw us closer to You and to each other. Amen.

Renewed hope

Ask each other the following questions:

  • What did your family hope for most when you were growing up?
  • What did you hope for as a child or a teen at Christmas?
  • What is our biggest hope as a couple?

Scripture readings:

Psalm 33:18

Matthew 12:21

Romans 5:3-5

1 Timothy 4:10

Hebrews 10:23

December 10

Families from miles around gathered in the tiny frontier church. A sense of anticipation filled the air on this Advent Sunday. The small pipe organ harmonized with voices raising their heartfelt praise to God. When the music stilled, the pastor shared an encouraging message about the Prince of Peace, who came into the world to give true and lasting peace to everyone who trusts in Him.

In a world filled with stress, strife and uncertainty, the people of God have a source of peace the world doesn’t know or understand. Scripture tells us that this peace “surpasses all understanding,” protecting our hearts and minds as we trust in Christ (Philippians 4:7).

Every married couple goes through hard times, when earthly peace seems elusive. But keeping Jesus at the center of our marriages and drawing closer to Him brings true peace.

However when you experience difficult or distressing times as a couple, remember that you can have God’s peace in the midst of them. And peace isn’t the absence of hardship; it’s the comfort and assurance God gives us when we put our trust in Him regardless of our circumstances or feelings. The peace the world offers is superficial and fleeting but Jesus is the source of deep and lasting peace.

Advent reflection:

Isaiah 11:1-10 paints a picture of heavenly peace. How can you extend this kind of peace to your neighbors, family and friends this season?

Prayer:

Dear heavenly Father, we can worry about so many things in this uncertain and stressful world. Please show us how to give our worries to You and live in Your peace every day. Amen.

Peace

Ask each other the following questions:

  • What was your family most anxious about when you were growing up?
  • What was your biggest worry or fear as a child?
  • In what areas of our marriage and our personal lives do we need to learn how to rest in the peace Jesus gives instead of worrying?

Scripture readings:

Isaiah 26:3

John 14:27

John 16:33

Philippians 4:6-7

2 Thessalonians 3:16

December 17

Young children ran alongside the old buckboard wagon as they left church. Sunday service was a social treat for children and adults alike—a welcome break from the toil and hardships of frontier life. The exuberance of youth was contagious, bringing smiles to the careworn faces of the travelers.

At the birth of Jesus, angels rejoiced at the fulfillment of God’s promise: the Savior of the world had been born. The shepherds in the hills nearby watched this joyful celebration in awe, wondering what it could mean. Who was this Savior born in Bethlehem? Curiosity prompted them to set aside their shepherding and look for the Christ child. When they had seen Him with their own eyes, they returned to the fields praising God for this joyful event.

Like frontier life, marriage can be filled with hardship and sorrow, but it also brings laughter and great joy. The fruit of joy that the Spirit grows in our hearts far outweighs the difficulties we may experience in marriage (Galatians 5:22-23).

As you rejoice in the birth of our Savior this Christmas season, have fun together and enjoy the special relationship God has given you.

Advent reflection:

God created us to find joy in Him and our marriages. When was the last time you laughed and danced and enjoyed each other’s company? How can you renew the joy and fun in your marriage when the challenges of life erode them?

Prayer:

Dear heavenly Father, You sent angels to joyfully declare the Good News of Your Son’s birth. Help us enjoy spending time with You and with each other this Christmas and in the year to come. Amen. 

Our Savior’s birth and return

Ask each other the following questions:

  • Can you remember what was the most amazing celebration your family ever had?
  • Is there a celebration in your life meant the most to you?
  • How can we as a couple celebrate all that Jesus has done for us as we joyfully anticipate His return?

Scripture readings:

Isaiah 61:10

Psalm 5:11

Psalm 64:10

Luke 1:46-55

Luke 2:13-14, 20

December 24

The old buckboard wagon creaked as it rolled down the worn path home after church. A seasoned couple sat side by side, holding hands in companionable silence. And after a lifetime together on the frontier, they were still in love. That love had only grown richer and deeper through the challenges they had endured. Without a word, they expressed the gratitude they felt for each other and for God’s unconditional love and faithfulness as the horses plodded along.

In the book of Luke, we read about a godly man named Simeon and an elderly prophetess named Anna who had been waiting patiently for the promised Messiah to come. When Mary and Joseph brought Jesus to the temple after His birth, Simeon praised God and said, “[Let] your servant depart in peace . . . for my eyes have seen your salvation” (Luke 2:29-30).

The moment Anna set her eyes on the child, she thanked God for His faithful love in sending the Chosen One to redeem His people.

This Christmas season, express your gratitude to God for the wonderful gift of His Son. Thank Him for extending His love to each of you and for growing His love in your marriage.  

Advent reflection:

Love cultivates hearts of gratitude. What expressions of love for each other are you grateful for? How can you practice gratitude for God’s unconditional love and for your marriage each day?

Prayer:

Dear heavenly Father, help us cultivate hearts of gratitude for all that You have done for us. Teach us to love each other sacrificially and unconditionally as You have loved us through Your Son. Amen.

Unconditional love for humanity

Ask each other the following questions:

  • How did your family of origin show love for each other?
  • When in your life, outside of our marriage, have you felt deeply loved?
  • What can we do to better understand how to love each other unconditionally?

Scripture readings:

John 3:16

John 15:12-13

Romans 5:8

1 Corinthians 13

1 John 4:9

If you’re looking for additional holiday readings, try The Advent of Glory: 24 Christmas Devotions by R.C. Sproul.

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