I lived far from my first cousin during childhood, and we didn’t meet until our late teens. Since then, we have grown close and talked about marriage. We’ve done this secretly because we know that people might not approve. Do you have any advice? Does the Bible say if cousins can marry?
ANSWER:
As you’re aware, you’ve touched on a controversial issue. The best way to approach it might be to answer your last question first.
What does the Bible say about cousin marriage?
The Bible doesn’t directly address the subject of marriage between cousins. According to Leviticus 18:6-18, a man is forbidden to marry the following people:
- Daughter.
- Stepchildren.
- Aunt.
- Sister or half-sister.
- Stepsisters.
- Daughter-in-law.
- Granddaughter.
- Step-granddaughter.
Notably, cousins are not in the list. And if the biblical example of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah is any indication, cousin marriage was common in the ancient world. (Their story begins in Genesis 28.)
Questions to ask before marrying a cousin
Since Scripture doesn’t give guidance on this issue, we encourage you and your cousin to ask yourselves these important questions.
Is cousin marriage legal in your state?
Many states prohibit marriage between first cousins, and the Bible commands us to obey the laws of the nation where we live. (In most cases, state laws were originally based on the risk of birth defects in children of second cousins or closer relatives. You’ll want to think about this carefully.)
How might your plans affect relationships with your family, friends, and community? Would social pressures impact your chances of building a successful marriage?
Your choice could cause emotional pain for everyone involved — you, your cousin, and the entire extended family.
Where to find more help
If you want to talk more about your situation, call our professional and pastoral counselors for a free consultation at 1-855-771-HELP (4357). They can also refer you to qualified counselors and Christian therapists in your area.
Resources
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Christian Beliefs: Twenty Basics Every Christian Should Know