Our 16-year-old wants to get a tattoo. We haven’t had a serious discussion about it, partly because we’re so shocked that we don’t know how to respond to our teen. Does the Bible say if tattoos are OK for Christians?
ANSWER:
What does the Bible say about tattoos?
Our view is that the Bible doesn’t say anything specific to Christians on whether tattoos are permissible.
Yes, the practice was forbidden in the Old Testament Law: “You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:28). However, that commandment doesn’t necessarily apply to us today, since it was probably directed against practices associated with pagan idolatry.
Today’s culture generally views tattoos as cosmetic. Some Christians even use this type of body art to reach non-believers who wouldn’t normally be open to attending church or connecting with mainline Christian culture.
All that said, Christians are called to live by grace, not by the law.
The Old Testament included rules about burnt offerings (Leviticus 1:9), dietary restrictions (Leviticus 11:10), agricultural methods (Leviticus 19:19), capital punishment for witches (Exodus 22:18), and pagan associations of customs such as tattooing (Leviticus 19:28) or cutting the edges of the beard (Leviticus 19:27).
Yet, the book of Hebrews makes it clear that those purely cultural and ceremonial aspects were “shadows” of the reality that was to come in Christ (see Hebrews 8:5 and Hebrews 10:1). In other words, New Testament believers (those who receive Jesus as Savior and Lord) are no longer bound to Old Testament laws.
So, if God’s Word doesn’t back you up on this issue, what should you do? Talk with your teen.
Practicing grace with your teen
Some teens want a tattoo to fit in with their peers. Others think it will make them appear stronger, tougher, more self-reliant, and capable of facing their fears. Some see it as a way to prove they’re grown. (Many common parent-teen struggles happen because teens have one foot in childhood and the other in adulthood.)
True, part of your role as parents is to say “no” when necessary. And your teen (as a child and not yet an adult) must still accept your authority and boundaries. In most cases, though, a hardline approach will likely backfire. (Check out some ideas for helping teens move from childhood to adulthood.)
Instead, do your best to maintain respect when talking with your teen. The goal of effective communication is to understand your teen’s heart. Dr. Walt Larimore encourages parents in his article Connecting With Your Emotional Teens:
Make yourself a “safe place” to engage in discussing ideas, doubts or questions — about any topic, including drugs, sex, tattoos, social media, bullying, body changes, success, money, painful relationships, messy worldviews, politics, God and faith. You don’t need to have all the answers, but by providing a safe haven for your teen, you’ll be building a strong emotional connection.
In other words, don’t condemn things you disagree with. Rather, listen, listen, and listen some more. Walk your teen through the process of critical thinking. In this situation, talk about their reasons and motives for wanting a tattoo. Calmly ask questions like:
- What would a tattoo mean to you?
- When you think about getting one, how does it make you feel?
- Would you be angry or disappointed if we said no? Why?
If the conversation is calm, reasonable, and mutually respectful, then you’ll probably have a chance to express your feelings and explain your reasons for not wanting your teen to get a tattoo.
Reasons not to get a tattoo
You might highlight for your teen three reasons for not getting a tattoo:
- Tattoos are permanent.
- Tattoos carry health risks.
- Getting a tattoo without your permission might be illegal in your state.
Tattoos are permanent
Once it’s on, it won’t come off unless removed by a painful, expensive process. Ask your teen to think seriously about this:
- How do you think you might feel about having a tattoo when you’re 30, 40, or 50 years old?
- How might it affect your life and your career aspirations?
These questions tie to the idea of permanency: Present actions have future consequences. You can affirm the truth that God looks at the heart while also pointing out the reality that a spouse, in-laws, employers, and others will form impressions based on outward appearance. It’s simply human nature.
Getting a tattoo carries health risks
Tattooing is a procedure that can have troubling health consequences, including the following:
- Local bacterial skin infections.
- Allergic reactions at the tattoo site (e.g., rash or itching).
- Other reactions at the tattoo site such as granulomas and keloids, which can disfigure the skin.
- More serious infections such as hepatitis B, hepatitis C, and HIV, which can be spread when tattoo needles are contaminated with infected blood.
Because of these health hazards, do-it-yourself tattoos, especially, should be avoided (the kind your teen might get in a makeshift tattoo studio). And again, that’s not to mention the cost, discomfort, and potential ineffectiveness of trying to remove unwanted tattoos in the future.
Legal regulations govern commercial tattoo shops
Because of the medical issues mentioned above, commercial tattoo parlors are subject to numerous legal regulations. This usually includes restrictions on the age of the customer.
Most states require written parental consent before someone younger than 18 can get a tattoo. This means that, as the parent, you have the legal authority to veto your child’s decision to get a tattoo.
Tattoo alternatives
If those thoughts don’t change your teen’s mind, you might suggest they consider a temporary tattoo as a way of making a trial run without a permanent commitment. Then, you could agree to revisit the question of a permanent tattoo at 18. (Ideas for temporary options include henna tattoos, temporary ink, tattoo markers, and foil tattoos.)
Be aware of extremes
As a final thought, we have serious concerns about any teen or young adult who’s tempted to go to extremes with tattoos — for example, by covering their head, neck, or face with tattooed images.
In our view, there’s a point at which this ceases to be body art and crosses into self-mutilation, an issue that would need to be addressed by a trained psychologist or counselor.
Parents should also learn about images and patterns that are associated with gang membership or that carry drug-related meanings.
Call us for more help
We know that the adolescent years are complex. You pick your battles so you can maintain influence over the long run, but knowing how to handle some issues feels overwhelming.
If you’d like to talk more about your questions, call Focus on the Family’s Counseling department at 1-855-771-HELP (4357) for a free consultation. Our professional and pastoral counselors will listen and provide initial guidance and resources.
Resources
If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.
How to Talk With Your Teen Without Losing Your Mind
Losing Control & Liking It: How to Set Your Teen (and Yourself) Free
Feeding the Mouth That Bites You
Focus on the Family® with Jim Daly shows about Parenting Teens