What Can I Do Right Now?
Where can I get help for a specific situation?
If you’re looking for help for a specific situation, see the options below.
Unsure Whether You’re in an Abusive Relationship?
If you’re unsure whether your relationship could be classified as “abusive,” get clarification here.
Additionally, Darby Strickland is author of the book Is It Abuse?: A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims. We have a series of videos available with her and with Kari Trent Stageberg, a domestic abuse survivor. You can watch those videos here.
What Can I Do Right Now?
Where can I get help for a specific situation?
If you’re looking for help for a specific situation, see the options below.
Unsure Whether You're in an Abusive Relationship?
If you’re unsure whether your relationship could be classified as “abusive,” get clarification here.
Additionally, Darby Strickland is author of the book Is It Abuse?: A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims. We have a series of videos available with her and with Kari Trent Stageberg, a domestic abuse survivor. You can watch those videos here.
FOUR STEPS YOU CAN TAKE NOW:
Create a Safety Plan
If you’re in an abusive relationship, Focus on the Family recommends that you use the following tool to prepare the steps you need to take to move towards safety.
Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline
If you’re in a situation where danger could be imminent, call 911, or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH).
Request a Counseling Consultation
Focus on the Family has a staff of licensed, professional counselors who offer a one-time complimentary consultation from a Christian perspective. They can also refer you to counselors in your area for ongoing assistance.
Contact 2•1•1
For a full range of needs from food to shelter, 211 connects you to expert, caring help. Every call is completely confidential.
Quick Help for Abuse Survivors From Counselor and Author Darby Strickland
"Am I in an Abusive Relationship?"
Three types of emotional abuse can easily be disguised: gaslighting, retaliation and projection. Recognize when you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Generally, codependency is an adaptive coping mechanism used compulsively by those trying to find personal worth and value by meeting perceived needs of others.
You may be in danger from an abusive relationship and not even know it. Learn to recognize characteristics of an abuser so that you can get help for your current relationship or avoid abuse in the future.
There are distinct differences between an unhealthy exchange and verbal or emotional abuse. Married couples need to understand and recognize the differences. What are some indications of abuse?
Darby Strickland, a counselor and teacher at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, defines spiritual abuse in marriage and offers advice for helping wives who are oppressed in this way.
Darby Strickland, a counselor and teacher at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, defines financial abuse in marriage and offers advice for helping wives who are oppressed in this way.
Darby Strickland, a counselor and teacher at the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation, defines sexual abuse in marriage and explains how wives are oppressed in this way.
Help for Myself
When dealing with an abusive spouse, you need to be bold, take action, and draw clear boundaries for your own safety. God loves you. And He hates the abuse you endure.
If emotional abuse is present in your relationship, setting boundaries is crucial. If you think your safety’s at stake, learn the steps to effectively set boundaries.
Drawing from her years of work as a counselor and her own life experience, Leslie Vernick offers guidance and hope to women who are in need of finding safety and healing from an abusive marriage. (Find Part 2 of this broadcast here.)
Domingo and Irene Garcia discuss the early years of their marriage which were filled with alcoholism and abuse, and how God brought about a miraculous healing to their lives and relationship. The Garcias offer hope and encouragement to other couples that they, too, can change destructive patterns and embrace God’s plan for their lives. (Find Part 2 of this broadcast here.)
Doris Rivera-Black tells her dramatic story of escaping the physical, emotional and sexual abuse she endured in her previous marriage. She offers hope to other victims of domestic violence as she discusses the healing she’s found through her relationship with Jesus Christ. (Find Part 2 of this broadcast here.)
Emma felt confused, uncertain, and terrified. Raised in the church, she repeatedly heard that divorce was a sin, and God hated it. The Bible said so. She had also heard so many sermons on how kids need a dad in their lives. But should they have a dad around who was teaching them that abuse was okay?
Help for a Friend
You may want to know how to help and support someone you love who’s in an abusive relationship. Here are several ways that can enable you to be there for them.
Can men experience abuse in marriage? Why is it so hard to see a man as a victim of abuse?
In order to be able to help the victims who are caught up in human trafficking, we need to understand how this crime works.
How can I help a friend who was recently raped? So far, I’m the only person she’s told. She’s paralyzed with feelings of shame and guilt.
Help for Minors
The call is often not made to report child abuse. People are sure someone else has already called it in. Or they don’t want to get someone in trouble, or are afraid they will not retain anonymity.
Nathan Ross knows firsthand the importance of preventing child abuse and neglect. This is what he wants others to understand.
There is no class distinction. Rich and poor, well-educated and high school dropouts, the handsome and the plain; no group is immune to child maltreatment.
This can be a very specific circumstance with nuanced details. The first step in identifying babysitter abuse is looking for abnormal behavior, fears, or how your children respond.
Unfortunately, summer camp environments do not guarantee your children’s complete safety. We want to come alongside your family as you prepare to send your children to summer camp so they can be safe and enjoy their time away.
The lifelong impact of ACEs is clearly significant, and I think it is something we should be talking about more.
The effects of abuse create a lifetime impact. This article will provide some descriptions of the impact children experience when their childhood included abuse or neglect.
Child victims of sexual abuse may believe the abuse is their fault. They may experience feelings of loyalty and affection for the abuser and believe that anything sexual is wrong. These beliefs may lead children to think they are dirty and damaged.
Help for the Elderly
Elder abuse can be hard to define, and difficult to spot. However, there are several clues to recognizing and preventing the abuse of the elderly.
The media report on domestic abuse, child abuse, drug abuse and animal abuse. Sadly, the abuse of the elderly is growing problem that few people talk about or even acknowledge.
What can I do to ensure my aging mom’s safety and security? She lives alone, and I worry that she’s becoming increasingly vulnerable to abuse from outsiders. How can I tell if she’s in any immediate danger?
Darlene’s task was to act as a sort of health and safety enforcement for assisted living facilities, ensuring quality care for every resident. Darlene was employed in this position for nearly eight years, and developed a reputation for cultivating top-notch care practices.
What are some of the most common ways scam artists victimize the elderly? How can I protect my parents against this kind of abuse?
Additional Situations
I’ve just become a victim of rape. I desperately need help and don’t know where to find it – what should I do now? I feel so dirty, guilty, worthless, desperate, and scared that I can hardly think or move.
We’ve all known manipulative people, whether they are friends, family, or our spouse. They’re the people who know how to push our buttons. They might scare, coerce, obligate, criticize, guilt trip, bribe, blame, undermine, intimidate, abuse.
Rather than assume our children are immune from temptation because they are Christians, live in a Christian home, or attend a private school, we should stay informed and be proactive.
Linda Smith, President of Shared Hope International, discusses the trafficking of minors in the United States, how listeners can fight it and how parents can protect their children. (Listen to Part 2 here.)
Resources & Referrals
With this book, you’ll learn how to identify the toxic entitlement that drives abusive behavior and better understand the impact of abuse on victims. Ultimately, you will become equipped to provide wise and Christ-centered counsel while carefully navigating the complex dynamics of oppression in a marriage.
Author Deepak Reju examines why child predators target churches and offers eleven straightforward strategies to protect children from abuse and to help young victims recover if it does happen.
For survivors of abuse, counselors, therapists, pastors who treat survivors, and those who support survivors in their healing, You Are Safe Now is an indispensable resource.
On the Threshold of Hope offers hope and healing to men and women who have been traumatized by sexual abuse. Dr. Langberg’s insights and the quotations from many survivors assure readers that they are not alone and that Christ, the Redeemer, can heal their deep wounds.
Find Focus on the Family broadcasts, best-in-class books,
referral recommendations, and more.
Find Focus on the Family broadcasts, best-in-class books,
referral recommendations, and more.
Whatever challenge your family is facing, we’re here for you! Call 1-855-771-HELP to speak to one of our ministry’s caring counselors for guidance, resources, and prayer.
Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse.
This non-profit seeks to empower churches across the nation to be a safe and non-judging place for the girls to run to when they find out they are pregnant, instead of the last place they are welcomed because of shame and guilt.
This organization offers hope and healing for young women seeking freedom from life-controlling problems such as depression, drug and alcohol addictions, eating disorders, and physical and sexual abuse.
This group assists parents, children, law enforcement officials, schools, and communities in recovering missing children and raising public awareness about ways to help prevent child abduction, molestation, and sexual exploitation.
This organization offers a program to stop domestic violence by bringing the perpetrator to accountability and providing skills for both the batterer and the victim.
This group works to prevent intergenerational family violence by bringing together community and national stakeholders in both volunteer and professional positions.
This Christian organization comes alongside those who’ve been abused to help them find healing and wholeness in Christ.
This international organization is committed to the prevention and treatment of child abuse.
This secular non-profit organization works with local, state, and national groups to promote healthy parenting and community involvement as effective strategies for preventing child abuse.
