Grow deeper relationships by turning away from sins that are hurting them. Learn what the Bible says about these habits and how to avoid them.
What Does the Bible Say About Sin?
Christians must constantly turn away from sin and return to the Lord. But sometimes we can become complacent in “small” sins that don’t seem like a big deal. These habits, however, can often make a negative impact on not only us, but our relationships. First, we will look at what the Bible says on a few of these sins and discover how to effectively deal with them.
Harmful Speech
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- Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
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- Proverbs 16:28: “A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.”
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- James 3:8-10: “But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.”
Envy
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- Exodus 20:17: “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”
Pride
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- Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”
Slothfulness
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- 1 Corinthians 15:58: “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”
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- Colossians 3:23: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.”
Anger
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- Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
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- Colossians 3:8: “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.”
How to Deal With Sin
The Way We Speak Matters
We are called to build each other up and love one another. When we use harsh language, whether through insulting siblings, disrespecting parents or gossiping behind friends’ backs, we are not only hurting those relationships, but we are also directly disobeying God’s Word. How would you like people to talk about you when you aren’t around?
The Root of Envy
When a sibling gets praise from your parent or a friend gets the role in the play that you wanted, it’s tempting to let envy take over. Sometimes it can feel like everyone else’s life is better than yours. This envy is often a sign that you are discontent with what God has given you. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” When we compare ourselves to others, we can become ungrateful for the things that God has given us. How do you show gratitude to God and those around you?
Pride and Selfishness
Pride can be difficult to identify because it comes in many different forms. It can look like refusing to apologize when you hurt someone or constantly criticizing those around you. In Philippians 2:5-8, we see Christ displaying the opposite of pride, which is humility. Christ humbled himself and looked to serve the needs of others, so we must do the same. When we are humbly serving others, pride cannot take root. In what ways do you put your needs before others’ needs?
Slothfulness
Another quality that stems from pride is laziness. When we view ourselves as higher than others, it can seem like our time and rest is of utmost importance. We ignore responsibilities because we are tired or feel like we shouldn’t have to do that work. This also can seep into relationships because we don’t want to put in the effort. This keeps us from parenting well, spending time working on our friendships, or getting to know our siblings.
Imagine if the President of the United States just decided that he had better things to do and neglected all his responsibilities. The effects of that would not only hurt our country, our relationship with the world. Our laziness not only affects us, but it can damage our relationships with those we love. Is there a task or responsibility that you are avoiding?
When Anger Controls Us
The Bible calls us to be slow to anger (Proverbs 14:29) and when we are angry, to not sin in our anger (Ephesians 4:26). There are times when anger is justified, but most often anger turns into bitterness, malice, or vengeance. These qualities are what lead to hurt in relationships. We are called to love even our enemies, so when we feel anger take hold, we must remember Ephesians 4:31-32, which says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Here is more information on what the bible says about sin and anger. How do you act when you are angry?
2 Habits to Tackle the Sin in Our Lives
Now that we know what the Bible says about sin, we look at two steps that you can take to move away from sinful habits and learn how to deal with them when they show up.
Meaningful Reflection
The first step to dealing with these harmful tendencies is to reflect and look for them in your own life. If you can’t think of any ways these sins are present in your life, pray that God would reveal ways that you can grow.
Another way to see these sins in your life is to ask someone close to you how you can better reflect Christ or if they see in you any of these behaviors. Often our family and close friends can see things that we are apt to miss in ourselves, and when we recognize our harmful behavior, we can repent and grow.
Create a Plan
The next step in turning away from these sinful behaviors is to come up with a concrete plan for accountability and improvement. Create a plan to help you to avoid the behavior.
For example, Joe was struggling with anger toward his sister. He would lose his temper and easily become frustrated. He became convicted of this and came up with a three-step plan to break this habit. When Joe became angry, he would first distance himself from the situation. He would walk away from his sister and then reflect on his actions. He recognized why he became angry and then could apologize to his sister and be honest with her about what triggered his anger. Steps like this can be enough to redirect our thoughts and lead us away sinful habits.
As we turn away from behaviors that can hurt our relationships, we must remember that we cannot do this on our own. Jesus declares in John 15:5, “Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” Bearing fruit, and turning away from sin, is only possible through a relationship with Christ. When we abide in him, through prayer and reading His word, He will guide us away from sin and bring us toward Himself.
You do not have to go through this alone. If you need someone to talk to about anything you are struggling with, please reach out to your pastor or trusted Christian friend. You can also call 1-800-A-FAMILY to speak with a family help specialist or request resources.
Additional Resources:
Navigating Tough Issues in Your Family
Dr. Mike Bechtle offers insights on common barriers to communication within the family.
How to Repent: A Guide to Forgiveness for your Kids
God cares far more about our response after we sin.
What Does Forgiveness and Restoration Mean?
The first step to understanding forgiveness is learning what it is and isn't.
Controlling Anger So It Doesn’t Control You
Gary Chapman offers practical advice for dealing with anger in a healthy manner and embracing the power of forgiveness.
Healthy Conflict Resolution in Marriage
If your approach to conflict resolution is going nowhere, you may need a heart change. Try these five ideas.
