Unfortunately, the effects of pornography negatively impact our teenagers in more ways than we might realize. But there’s hope for parents hoping to help their teens overcome pornography addiction
Porn is alluring. We understand that. But why? Why is it so destructive, especially to teens? As parents, we need to know the answers.
Over and over, boys and girls fall prey to the immediate gratification of sexual fantasies and negative effects of porn addiction. I can’t tell you the number of times both boys and girls have said they see kids at school viewing pornography.
Several teen girls I’ve counseled were initially accidentally exposed to a naked male body through either sexting, sexual education class, a fantasy novel (word pictures) or sexual chats with boys and girls. Often this initial exposure leads to a desire for more, including sexual fantasies of all kinds. It becomes an internal battle between rational thinking and reward seeking.
And we’re not just talking teens. Our sexual culture has effects even on young kids. Several years ago I worked with group of fifth grade boys with behavior issues. They had been hugging the young female teachers. To the teachers, it was “cute.” To the boys, it was known as the “boob club.”
In that school, girls were sending messages that masculinity equals sexuality. They insinuated boys need to be attractive sexually and able to perform. Both girls and boys talked pervasively about oral sex.
Where did they get all this information? Why weren’t they thinking about sports, music, and grades?
Here’s the problem. Exposure to a sexual culture causes boys and girls to become consumers of people. Effects of porn addiction put them on a path toward distorted love and disrespect of others. Pornography, porn addiction, and sexual talk becomes the norm.
The brain helps us make sense of what we take in through our five senses. It responds to what we see, read or hear. After viewing pornography, the idea of sex becomes about consumption rather than connection.
Pornography is powerful and creates a desire for more. It’s far more pervasive than you would suspect. In general, the rise of social media, sexting and technology has created an issue for both boys and girls to fall prey to the effects of porn addiction.
Consider these statistics:
The pornography industry is an enormous business. As is the case with any business, they want to expand. The porn industry knows the effects of porn addiction are damaging, especially for teens.
In adolescence, the brain is easily motivated by perceived rewards. The reward pathway in the brain—the ventral tegmental area, the nucleus accumbens and the pre-frontal cortex—is at its most sensitive state.
When stimulated, the brain releases dopamine into that pathway. This creates a cascading effect of memory and motivation. The brain wants more and more. It’s ripe for addiction, impulsivity and novelty.
Dopamine itself is not bad. It can be a very good thing. In fact, dopamine helps with motivation, enjoyment and managing moods. However, when dopamine is released as a result of pornography, it’s detrimental. It causes the brain to focus on pornography above anything else.
The first time someone looks at pornography the brain stores that experience. Meanwhile, the dopamine shouts an irresistible message to the brain regions it hits: “Do it again!” With repeated access, the demand grows. Unfortunately, it takes more and more pornography to create the same affect.
When an adolescent experiences a sexually-driven dopamine rush he or she:
To an enslaved brain, porn addiction becomes as basic a need as food and water.
One of my then-12-year-old son’s classmates saw an R-rated movie full of nudity and violent sexual content. Most adults aren’t equipped to handle that kind of stimulation, let alone an adolescent’s developing brain.
Many girls and boys have watched this particular movie, including a teen boy I met in my counseling practice. He referred to it as a great action movie and claimed the “sex” did not affect him.
That’s crazy! Our minds are wired to respond to sex. Like many, the boy was trying to convince himself that sexual content in media is no big deal.
Girls will respond to that same movie a little differently. They might convince themselves that being pursued with sexual passion is the ideal.
Here’s why sexually charged media content is so dangerous. Our brains don’t distinguish between live interactions or media. In the time it takes to watch a movie or play a video game, teens inwardly experience, rehearse and imitate the disturbing behaviors on screen. Often, the result takes two extremes. The first is to act out what we see. The other is desensitization, leaving our teenagers unable to feel anything.
The research states that when teens view pornography they can develop:
Boys and girls tend to see the same content through a different lens.
Unfortunately, this is a topic parents need to address with our kids. But rather than just saying no to the effects of porn addiction, let’s help our kids understand why it’s so dangerous.
On the flip side, when we protect it, all the physiological brain development in adolescents and teens is part of God’s beautiful design. It’s what allows us to see a spouse of 30 years just as attractive as the day we were married. This helps us connect with and genuinely love others. It’s most definitely worth protecting.
Dr. Daniel Huerta is Vice President of Parenting and Youth for Focus on the Family, overseeing the ministry’s initiatives that equip moms and dads with biblical principles and counsel for raising healthy, resilient children rooted in a thriving faith.
He is a psychologist, a licensed clinical social worker, and the author of 7 Traits of Effective Parenting. For many years, he has provided families with practical, biblically-based and research-based parenting advice on topics including media discernment, discipline, communication, mental health issues, conflict resolution, and healthy sexuality in the home. He is passionate about coming alongside parents as they raise contributors, instead of consumers, in a culture desperately in need of God’s kingdom.
Dr. Huerta has been interviewed by various media outlets including Fox News, Fatherly, Christianity Today, WORLD Magazine, and CBN, and he is a frequent guest on Christian radio stations across the nation. He’s also written for publications, including The Washington Post, on various topics related to marriage and parenting. He participated in the development of Focus on the Family’s Launch Into the Teen Years, a resource to help parents prepare their kids for adolescence, and he speaks regularly at retreats, conventions, and online events.
Dr. Huerta has maintained a private practice in Colorado Springs, Colorado since 2003 and has served families through Focus on the Family since 2004. He and his wife, Heather, have been married since 1997 and love being parents to their three teen children, Alex, Lexi, and Maci.
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