Bring your teens back to life by helping them get more rest.
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
Jenna, 15, appeared to have it all. She was at the top of her class academically, excelled athletically and was well liked by peers. But she grew anxious and felt lethargic; she began to isolate herself from others and acted detached even when she was present. Sleep deprivation began to set it. Her parents didn’t know what to do, until they realized Jenna often went to bed after midnight and woke early to study. Getting less than six hours of sleep a night was mentally depleting their daughter.
As parents, we want to encourage success, but in a healthy way. Sleep is key to attaining this goal. Teens may not understand how much rest they need and why sleep is essential for their mental and emotional health.
Teens need eight to 10 hours of sleep each night, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Yet less than 10 percent of teens sleep at least nine hours a night.
Amy Duncan, a mom of four from Nashville, sees this problem with her kids, Rueben, 16, and Judith, 14. “My teens stay up the latest of anyone in our family and are the first ones to get up,” she says. Involved in sports, church activities and tough academic schedules, her teens average only seven hours of rest a night.
Beyond the more obvious symptoms, such as grumpiness, impaired memory and physical performance, not getting enough sleep can affect a teen’s ability to make healthy decisions. In adolescence, the chemical and biological changes in their bodies lead them to desire risk-taking and sensation-offering experiences, such as the thrill that comes from quickly accelerating while driving a car. The lack of sleep decreases a teen’s ability to understand cause-and-effect or think through choices.
It can also lead to a teen’s inability to adjust to or recover from challenging life events — such
as a difficult math class or a painful relationship, says Sissy Goff, director of child and adolescent counseling at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville. “Because of how the teen brain is developing, impulsivity and irritability are at an all-time high,” says Goff. “This, compounded with lack of sleep, can increase the moodiness.”
Additionally, too-little sleep in adolescents increases the risk of high blood pressure and heart
disease, Type 2 diabetes and obesity. It’s also linked to a higher risk of mental illness, particularly depression and anxiety.
While we can’t make the busy demands of everyday life dissipate, we can employ strategies to help teens obtain more of the sleep they need.
It’s no surprise that using electronics (television, video games or devices that allow texting, internet surfing or social media) can be a major culprit when it comes to delaying bedtime and preventing teens from winding down at night. Some teens spend too many night hours talking, texting, Snapchatting, Instagramming or tweeting friends. The constant stimulus from screens makes it harder for them to fall asleep or sleep deeply, Goff explains.
To counter that, set parameters around technology and evening routines. “We require our 15-year-old son to leave his phone in our room each night at 9 p.m.,” Danielle West, a mom of three from Atlanta, says. “This allows his brain to rest. It also removes the temptation to check ESPN online or text friends.”
Goff suggests creating a central plug-in station in the parents’ bedroom (or another location in the
home). It gives technology- and activity-free downtime for the teen’s brain. “This allows for creativity, thoughtfulness about their own lives and the space needed to discover and foster their own sense of faith,” she says.
Biological development also can make bedtimes challenging as teens’ circadian rhythms begin to
naturally change and they don’t feel tired until later at night. Parents can help adolescents by initiating nightly habits, such as a cup of hot herbal tea before bed or spending a few moments together reading or in prayer. Unwinding at night is a process, so teens should tackle challenging homework earlier when possible.
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of setting a positive example. We, too, need to get enough rest so our teens can see that sleep is an essential part of living a healthy life.
Look closely at how Jesus practiced Sabbath because therein lies a lesson. For one, almost all Jesus’ Sabbath practices, in the eyes of the religious leaders of the day, looked like Sabbath breaking. Whatever the religious minds thought Sabbath should look like, the reality, for Jesus, was quite different.
According to Mark Buchanan, there’s something else about rest, almost hidden in plain sight.
For Jesus, Sabbath is mostly about restoration. Has a cow fallen in a well? Lift it out! Has a woman been bent over for 18 years? Straighten her up! Are people hungry? Pluck grain and feed them! Story after story carries this same point: Sabbath is for restoration. Whatever is lost, broken or sick, Sabbath is meant to make whole.
This concept has had radical implications for my family’s Sabbath practice. We began to ask, What in our lives is withered or bent, broken or lost? What has our haste or distraction stolen or damaged? We would plan our Sabbath around restoring such things.
Had joy gone missing? We would do that which would bring it back — something so simple as a board game or watching old episodes of “The Beverly Hillbillies.” Were our bodies aching and drooping? We would do that which rested and revived them — sometimes no more than making a thermos of hot chocolate and visiting the beach on a winter’s day.
In this way, every Sabbath day became a gift shaped to meet a real and pressing need.
In her book, Just Too Busy: Taking your family on a radical sabbatical, Joanne Kraft gives these tips for rest.
The traditions of Sabbath rest run deep in the Jewish community. Families light candles, break bread and sing songs together each week. It’s an intimate, relaxing time for those who sit around their kitchen table. And for me, it’s a great reminder that my children are never too young to play a part in our family’s Sabbath time. Consider the following ideas for creating a meaningful and restful Sabbath for your entire family:
• Bookend the day with a focus on Jesus. Use a special praise song to wake your young children in the morning and to put them to bed that night. One of the most precious family videos we have is of our daughter Grace singing a song we taught her about the love of Jesus.
• Find new ways and new places to rest, laugh and eat together. Grab pillows and blankets and make a comfy nest in the living room. Make stress-free, mess-free meals of finger foods. Cuddle with your little ones and read stories, sing songs and laugh together.
• Get some fresh air. Year round, the outdoors is a quiet adventure waiting to happen. Share God’s fascinating creation with your kids while hunting for bugs and flower buds, frost patterns and unblemished snowdrifts. Keep it simple. Watch clouds roll by, or count the stars at night. Pack lunch for a relaxing drive and impromptu picnic. Keep your fishing poles in the back of the car — just in case.
• Get creative. For school-age kids, family Sabbath time can include small projects that balance a service objective with simple, quiet moments together. Keep things easy and stress-free — decorating boxes for church missions projects or putting together care packages for families in need. The key is the relaxing time spent clipping, pasting and enjoying each other’s company.
• Power down. As our children got older, I wrestled with how we were going to continue honoring our Sabbath time together. Media often distracted us from focusing on God and one another, so we aimed to minimize its use on our Lord’s Day. Television and computers were turned off; portable screens were tucked in a drawer. We couldn’t rid ourselves of everything, of course. It seemed our teens had a hardwired need for music, so we set apart the day by playing only worship music that we could all enjoy together.
I realize now that the concept of Sabbath rest is as relevant to our lives as God’s other instructions — and we are blessed that God’s instructions come with benefits. Indeed, Jesus tells us plainly that Sabbath was created for us (Mark 2:27-28). We actually need the things that we are asked to do! What better way to honor our God and King than by teaching this heavenly, necessary lifestyle to our children.
Read More About:
Night terrors are genuinely terrifying. Not just for your toddlers, but also for you. Learn how to respond to these situations with a proper understanding of the spiritual and supernatural realms.
Though you cannot entirely stop your child from having nightmares, there are some immediate responses and preventative measures you can take to help your child get a good night’s rest.
Good sleep is essential to maintaining physical, emotional, spiritual and social health. Unfortunately, many people are seriously sleep deprived. Dr. Meg Meeker discusses the benefits of getting good sleep and some of the potential problems parents and kids may experience if they don’t get enough rest at night.
