God can use us as moms, even when we don’t do everything exactly right, to positively shape our children.
Tears fell down his cheeks. He looked up from the floor and into my eyes and said: “You yelled at me like you didn’t like me.” Never had I felt such deep, aching shame as a mom.
How can I be a better mom to these children God has entrusted to my husband and me? I thought. That is the question that presses in on me when I feel like I’m failing as a mom. I want to do better, but how?
Decide ahead of time how you will respond to a situation that could get out of hand. When my children argue, they have come to expect my consistent response: “We are a team, and this is not how a team works best. Please go together to your room until you resolve this. You can come back out when you find a solution.”
That evening when I spoke harshly to my son, the interaction caused me to make an intentional shift in our relationship. I have thought about it when I’m tempted to lose my patience again. And I’ve found myself more able to remain calm and respond in a controlled manner. God used my failure to refine me. I want my children to witness me becoming a better mom, as God brings His strength into my weaknesses.
As soon as angry words leave my lips now, I say a quick prayer asking God to humble me. I apologize, and then pray with my child. As I pray out loud, I ask God to help me control my anger and thank Him for His grace and forgiveness.
I assure my children often that “God is working on Mom’s heart too.” Then I am age-appropriately open with them about my own struggles, and I remind them that God’s grace is sufficient, and His power is perfected in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Someday when my son is grown, I pray he will look back on that evening when Mom lost her cool and realize that God’s grace was there. I want him to notice how God has continually transformed my heart, so that he understands that God has the power to transform his heart, too.
In a world where pressures to be a perfect mother abound, I can find freedom in proclaiming that only Christ can make me a better mom. And, as I depend on Him, He will be faithful to do just that.
2 Peter 1:3 says, “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness.” Everything for life and godliness — motherhood not excluded. Over time, I learned that it’s good for my children to grow up watching me depend on Jesus for all my needs. Through each struggle, as I have learned to place my successes and faults as a parent before God, I have become a better mom.
Eryn Lynum is a certified Master Naturalist, Bible teacher, national speaker, and author of Rooted in Wonder: Nurturing Your Family’s Faith Through God’s Creation and 936 Pennies: Discovering the Joy of Intentional Parenting. Eryn lives in Northern Colorado with her husband, Grayson, and their four children, whom they homeschool—mainly in the great outdoors. Eryn has has been featured on FamilyLife Today, Proverbs 31 Ministries, Christian Parenting, MOPS International, Bible Gateway, Her View From Home, and For Every Mom. Every opportunity she gets, she is out exploring God’s creation with her family and sharing the adventures. To learn more about Eryn, visit ErynLynum.com.
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