Knowing your role as a grandparent can be tricky. However, there is an opportunity for you to connect with your grandchildren on a deeper level. Understanding your grandparent style is the first step in communicating with your grandchildren in meaningful ways.
A Grandparenting Story
“Mom, we have a surprise for you.” “I love surprises. Is it a new recipe?” “No, better than that.”
“You got that new job?”
“No but that would be nice. But this is ever better.” Ellie reached into her purse and handed her mom an envelope. “Here.”
Sue opened the envelope and pulled out a picture. She rotated it, trying to figure which way was up. “Where is the top?”
“Mom, it has writing on it. Make sure the name is readable.”
“4-30-22. That’s today’s date. Robison b.a.b…..y. Baby?” Sue jumped up and down. “Baby Robison? You going to have a baby? I’m going to be a grandma. Oh my goodness. I have to get ready. How are you feeling, Honey? Have you bought a crib yet? A stroller…”
Sue had longed for this day. She wasted no time in springing into action. “I want to be the best Grandma anywhere.” she said. “How can I do that?”
There are many elements to being a good grandmother. One of the things that works well is to know your personality and that of your grandchildren.
Grandparenting Styles by Personality
Most personality systems focus on four personality types. They have different names but the characteristics are very similar. For the purpose of this article, we will use the LINKED® Personality system. LINKED® uses the words Mobilizer, Socializer, Stabilizer, and Organizer.
The Mobilizer
First, this is a strong personality who may point a finger to emphasize conversations. Mobilizers know the way things should be done. Also, they will do everything possible to accomplish their goals. A gifted leader, the Mobilizer is unhappy when things feel out of control. Exercise and hard work are relaxing to him.
The Socializer
Next, this personality is just what it sounds like – the life of the party. No matter what the task, this fun personality can make it into a game. Also, the Socializer loves attention and it makes him sad when life is not fun. Shopping and eating out relaxes the Socializer.
The Stabilizer
Third, this personality is the peace keeper. Always wanting to keep things easy and peaceful, the Stabilizer is supportive and easy-going. Also, time alone is important, such as reading a book or watching TV.
The Organizer
Finally, this personality loves to do things the right way. This person’s tendency is to listen more, speak less, and think a lot. Quality is more important than quantity. Silence and plenty of space to himself relaxes the Organizer.
Finding the Communication Gaps
If your grand parenting style is that of a Mobilizer, and ask your grandchild to take his or her dishes to the sink after dinner, what you may really mean is take your plate and flatware to the kitchen, throw your napkin away and scrape your leftover food into the dog’s bowl, rinse your plate and put it into the dishwasher.
If your grandchild is also a Mobilizer, they will likely interpret your request to match your intention. Also, if you have grandchildren of other personalities, your words will be heard differently. Also, you may have to give a bit of instruction to get the desired result.
If your personality is a Socializer, you may say to your grandchild, “Dinner’s done, let’s have some fun, wash your plate, and don’t be late!” Your grandchildren who share your personality will spring into action to get ready for a round of evening games. Finally, the others will probably roll their eyes with thoughts of Oh, boy, here she goes again! But that’s okay because you still have a role and impact.
Recognizing Your Style of Grandparenting
Stabilizers are easily pleased. Their grand parenting style is easy going. As long as at some point during the evening the table is cleared, and most dishes put either in the dishwasher or back in the cabinet Stabilizers will be content. In some cases, if the food is put away, the dishes could actually just go in a sink of hot water and wait until in the morning to put them in the dishwasher and it wouldn’t bother this laid-back personality!
That leaves our Organizer grandparents. Once dinner is finished, Organizers are ready to get the dishes washed. Then, they want to restore their kitchens to its normal orderly state. Also, Organizers can love help. But they likely have input for how to best complete the task. Organizers know how they want things done and it is best to use their method to do them. If not, grandchildren will find themselves given explicit instructions as to the “right way” to do the job.
Personality traits not only affect your approach to chores but also playing games or going on grandchildren field trips. Grandparents must be aware that as strongly as you feel about the way your grandchildren play or complete tasks, your grandchild probably feels just as strongly based on his or her personality. Also, the way you act and react can occasionally cause conflict. But it can also enrich your experience and enjoyment of your grandchildren.
Final Thoughts on Your Grandparenting Style
Finally, remember this: families are made up of unique individuals. God made us differently and sometimes it takes a little work to get along. But He also made us to love each other. And understanding each other through our personalities can make that so much easier. As you explore the wonderful world of grand parenting, remember, a little personality knowledge goes a long way.
