How Do I Get My Child to Stop Lying?
These five tips can help you create a culture of honesty in your home.
Do you know how and why teens cheat at school? Use these ideas to reduce the likelihood that your teen will cheat.
Although some kids have always cheated in school, today’s tech gadgets have made cheating easier than ever before. In a recent survey, 52 percent of teens said they have used the Internet to cheat, while 35 percent admitted to using cell phones to cut corners.
Many teens justify their actions by arguing that “everyone is doing it.” And to a certain extent, they’re right — most kids are doing it. A study by the Josephson Institute of Ethics shows how prevalent the problem has become. In a 2008 study, 64 percent of high school students admitted to cheating on a test that year. These students often do not even know that what they’re doing is wrong, believing that “the end justifies the means.” They may further rationalize their cheating by claiming that it’s harmless because it doesn’t affect anyone else.
While low-tech methods are still used, such as notes concealed on the tongue of a sneaker or on the tail of a shirt, high-tech methods are becoming increasingly popular. A few of those methods include:
Technology isn’t the only motivating factor. David Callahan, author of
The Cheating Culture, believes it’s also the result of a winner-take-all society where you’re supposed to do whatever it takes to succeed. And well-meaning moms and dads unwittingly add to the problem when they push their children to excel.
Time pressures also contribute to cheating. Many kids are so overscheduled that they do not have time to effectively study for tests or complete their homework.
Kids who are bored also tend to cheat. Any student who sees no value in a class or a particular assignment is more likely to cut corners.
Elementary school children may initially cheat as a way to please a teacher or parent, but the pressure to cheat intensifies in middle school when grades are no longer expressed with smiley-face stickers and check marks. Now the letters A and F scream success or failure, and for the first time, kids discover that their performance is important. By high school, cheating is no longer the exception but the norm. Even intelligent kids may cheat to maintain their position at the top of the class. In the upper grade levels, there are typically two types of cheaters: poor performers desperate to pass and high achievers driven to get a 4.0 grade point average.
The cheating doesn’t stop after a teen’s high school graduation, either. The same habits are practiced throughout the college years, and recent media reports about banking, investors and politicians are evidence that dishonesty continues throughout the adult years. That’s why parents need to play an active role in helping teens develop a biblical view of academic integrity. Let’s take a look at what parents can do to encourage teens to live in a way that is honest and counter-cultural.
Kids need to understand that ambition is fine, but honesty and integrity are more important. Knowing that technology helps kids refine their ability to cheat, parents need to clearly articulate that shortcuts are not desirable or acceptable.
We need to help our kids understand that cheating is a form of lying and stealing and it does affect others — both now and later. Cheating hurts honest students who must compete with their dishonest classmates for scholarships and other opportunities. And no one wants to go under the knife someday and discover that the surgeon cheated his way through medical school.
Teens need parents to emphasize honesty and integrity. They need to be taught that lying and cheating hurt relationships with peers, with adults and with God. They need to understand that the end does not justify the means. Cheating is always wrong in God’s eyes (Deuteronomy 25:16; Luke 16:10) — and that’s reason enough to avoid the temptation.
The following are some ways to reduce the likelihood that your teen will cheat: