Spending time in intimate conversation with our Heavenly Father on behalf of our kids can take away the feeling of powerlessness that we sometimes battle. These times spent with God can renew our sense of hope, open our eyes to what God is doing now in our kids’ lives, and impact our interactions with our children.
Parenting adult children through prayer can be an answer to our own prayers—especially if those children have drifted away from God. Spending time in intimate conversation with our Heavenly Father on behalf of our kids can take away the feeling of powerlessness that we sometimes battle. These times spent with God can renew our sense of hope, open our eyes to what God is doing now in our kids’ lives, and impact our interactions with our children.
We know that parenting adult children can be as difficult in some ways as raising them. They have left the nest and built family units of their own, and we no longer have the control we might have once had.
Instead we must rely on influence. In some areas we may have great influence. In other areas our kids may see us as irrelevant. But God is never irrelevant, no matter where our children stand with their beliefs. Because God is faithful, we can call on His influence as we impact our adult children through our prayers.
We may find ourselves without permission to speak truth into our kids’ lives. I don’t know of many adults who appreciate unsolicited advice, and our adult children can be sensitive to unasked for suggestions. We can rest assured that God does have the ability to impact our children. And He’s already at work there, even if we can’t always see Him.
By spending concentrated, diligent time in prayer for our families, God will work powerfully in our lives as well as in the lives of our kids.
All too frequently we look at prayer as the place of last resort. But in truth, coming to God through intimate conversation is our first line of defense—for us and for those we love. The knowledge of the power of prayer is something I’ve learned through experience. Because of those experiences, I’ve learned to ban phrases like, “Is there anything I can do except just pray?” In God’s world there is never anything secondary or weak when it comes to praying for one another.
Now that our kids are grown, the time for consistently modeling our own prayer life is gone. Occasionally we have opportunities to pray with them, usually at family gatherings where we share a meal. We should never discount these short times of shared prayer, but we can’t rely on them as our only time of letting our children know what—and how often—we’re praying for them.
I’ve found there are two important aspects of parenting our adult children through prayer. The first is obvious. We pray for them and literally carry them to God, interceding with Him to impact their lives. The second part is not quite so obvious. This involves letting our kids know we’re praying for them. There are specific, spiritually-powerful, actions we can take as we practice praying for our kids.
When I was a young parent I would often pray for my children in general terms, asking God to bless them and keep them safe. As I’ve grown into a closer relationship with God, I’ve discovered how intimately involved in every detail of our lives He is. And this involvement includes the lives of our kids. God cares about the people and things we care about.
So here are some specific ways to pray for your adult children, especially if they’ve drifted away from God.
In the past, I’ve been guilty of just telling my children, at the end of a conversation, that I was praying for them. I think most kids already know their parents pray for them. But if a child has drifted from God, that statement may be overlooked or even misunderstood. Because of that, it’s important to let them know what exactly we’re praying for them.
Interceding with God through prayer on behalf of our children doesn’t end when they become adults. In some ways, my prayers for my adult children are more intense and focused than when they were young.
We never give up the job of parenting, even when our children are adults. The parenting chores may look different, but the basics still apply. Now is not the time to give in to the lie that we’re no longer relevant or have a meaningful impact in the lives of our kids. It’s time to redouble our efforts and sink to our knees—exercising the most powerful way to parent our adult children, by praying for them regularly.
Edie Melson—author, blogger, and speaker—is a woman of faith with ink-stained fingers observing life through her camera lens. She knows the necessity of Soul Care and leads retreats, conferences and workshops around the world on staying connected to God. Her numerous books, including the award-winning Soul Care series reflect her passion to help others develop the strength of their God-given gifts. Learn more at EdieMelson.com
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