Addressing anxiety in your parenting can be difficult. But there are ways to practically and appropriately manage your anxiety and stress to serve and love your family well.
Anxiety is not easy to manage. It tends to spill into all aspects of the day. I love this question because you are recognizing the negative impact anxiety inside of you can have on others around you and on your ability to be present with them.
Stress, which is a given as a parent, can create an even more anxious response to a life that already feels somewhat out of control because of ongoing anxious feelings. Your goal will be to have a flexible mindset that considers multiple possible perspectives to moments and situations. Anxiety creates a rigid and inflexible mind that usually predicts the worst in order to avoid loss, pain, or embarrassment.
One of most common and popular bible verses about anxiety is Philippians 4:6. The Apostle Paul writes, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”
On its own, this verse can be discouraging to those who struggle with anxiety. It can read like we’re simply told to stop being anxious, pray instead, and all the worries will disappear. For anyone who struggling with anxiety, this can be a deflating message.
However, Paul’s thought continues beyond this verse: “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Paul encourages us towards peace that comes from God, not from ourselves or our world.
In other words, the ability stop being anxious is not something we can do because of ourselves. Instead, relief from anxiety and worry comes from a reliance on something outside of ourselves: letting go of control, using our discernment for guiding our family, and trusting God through untrustworthy feelings.
Parenting is messy. Anxiety plus parenting can be even messier. But trying to be the perfect parent isn’t the solution. Building a home founded on grace and gratitude can help transform the culture in your family. Challenge yourself to look for ways to be grateful for the small joys in parenting. Remember, your kids aren’t looking for you to be perfect. They want you to be present, interested in them, and effectively guiding them with grace and understanding.
Explore how you can approach anxiety in your parenting to be purposeful for your family and yourself.
Dr. Daniel Huerta is Vice President of Parenting and Youth for Focus on the Family, overseeing the ministry’s initiatives that equip moms and dads with biblical principles and counsel for raising healthy, resilient children rooted in a thriving faith.
He is a psychologist, a licensed clinical social worker, and the author of 7 Traits of Effective Parenting. For many years, he has provided families with practical, biblically-based and research-based parenting advice on topics including media discernment, discipline, communication, mental health issues, conflict resolution, and healthy sexuality in the home. He is passionate about coming alongside parents as they raise contributors, instead of consumers, in a culture desperately in need of God’s kingdom.
Dr. Huerta has been interviewed by various media outlets including Fox News, Fatherly, Christianity Today, WORLD Magazine, and CBN, and he is a frequent guest on Christian radio stations across the nation. He’s also written for publications, including The Washington Post, on various topics related to marriage and parenting. He participated in the development of Focus on the Family’s Launch Into the Teen Years, a resource to help parents prepare their kids for adolescence, and he speaks regularly at retreats, conventions, and online events.
Dr. Huerta has maintained a private practice in Colorado Springs, Colorado since 2003 and has served families through Focus on the Family since 2004. He and his wife, Heather, have been married since 1997 and love being parents to their three teen children, Alex, Lexi, and Maci.
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