There’s a lot of peer pressure to have a phone as young eight years old. Before you buy you buy your child a phone this year, here’s some thoughts to consider.
Estimated reading time: 8 minutes
“Mom, can I get a smartphone for Christmas?”
These were never words my sisters or I uttered when we were growing up. I’m sure many parents these days can relate: Cell phones weren’t common until the mid-1990s. Sure, rich kids on TV had them, but they were big, clunky and kind of a pain to lug around.
As we got older and phones got smaller (and smarter), that mindset shifted. I was given a cell phone in 7th grade. There was a reason. When I started after-school extracurriculars, my parents wanted me to be able to contact them in case of emergency.
Spoiler alert: I never had an emergency. But I still managed to spend every cent of my babysitting earnings on minutes for my phone so I could call and text my friends.
Then we were introduced to the smartphone. By then, calls and texts were free. I could connect to the internet. Soon after that, apps and social media became a thing. And the rest is history.
As of 2024, more than 95% of teens (ages 13 to 17) have access to a cell phone, according to the National Institutes of Health. But it’s not just teenagers. In 2021, Common Sense Media found that about 31% of 8-year-olds have their own smartphone. That stat jumps to 71% by age 12, and 91% by age 14.
So, it probably shouldn’t have come as a shock when my nephew requested a phone for Christmas this year. But I was gobsmacked. What 8-year-old needs a cell phone?!
As a part of the Plugged In team, I begged his mom not to acquiesce. And our sister who works as a child therapist seconded this motion. Because of our jobs, we both know that kids and cell phones are not a good mix.
I mean, just look at my own example. The phone I got at 13 was intended for emergency communication with my parents. Instead, I wasted three years’ worth of allowances chatting with friends whom I don’t even know anymore. And that was before the introduction of social media.
Search for “Social Media and Kids” on any web browser, and you’re sure to find a plethora of stats on how social media platforms affect our brains—and even more on how they affect our kids’ brains. They can be addictive, cause anxiety and depression, lead to cyberbullying, expose adolescents to explicit material or child predators and honestly, just influence kids to jump on some questionable trends.
But that begs several questions: When should I get my kid a phone? What kind of phone should I get them? What parental controls should I set up? And how do I talk to my child about healthy boundaries so they don’t fall victim to the negative effects of social media?
I’ll be frank: No, you should not buy a phone for your child if they are age 3 or younger. And you probably shouldn’t let them play with your cell phone either.
Experts recommend avoiding all screen time at this age, because their brains are in a critical stage of development that screen usage can interfere with. Researchers say that screen interaction should be supervised and strictly limited to video chats with familiar faces of family and friends. And difficult as it may be, avoid the temptation to use a phone or tablet as a babysitter to zonk your child out. It will work—but at the cost of slowing your child’s important brain development in this age range.
At this stage in development, it’s still not a great idea to get your kid a cell phone. Although your child may start asking for a phone, it’s unlikely that they’ll have a real need for one. As I mentioned earlier, only 31% of 8-year-olds (the oldest children in this category) have phones of their own. So communicating with friends isn’t going to be common. More likely, your child wants a cell phone because they want to watch videos or play games online. It’s even possible that they want to start using social media. (One study found that 30% of 7- to 9-year-olds are already using the social media platform X).
But if you’re worried that your child may need to contact you, then you could consider purchasing them a smartwatch designed for children. These kid-friendly, parent-tested watches (such as the Gabb 3 and Cosmo JrTrack) allow kids to make phone calls and send text messages to parent-approved contacts. But they won’t expose your child to harmful material since there are no integrated web browsers or social media apps.
My answer here gets a bit more complicated.
Truthfully, whether your tween is ready for his or her first phone is a hard maybe. Kids in this age group spend an average of five hours per day in front of a screen. And the older they are, the more screen time they’ll log. So handing them a device with full access to the world wide web, social media apps, and more probably isn’t the most elegant solution.
That said, tweens are often more inclined to call and text their friends. And yes, there are plenty of smartwatches designed specifically for children that can do just that. So if your child is happy with a smartwatch, that solution may be preferable, since it will limit their screen time usage and potential exposure to explicit material or online predators. (Eleven, researchers say, is the average age kids are first exposed to pornography.)
However, toting around nothing more than a smartwatch could have a negative social impact (i.e. bullying), especially if most of your child’s friends have actual phones. I would still say that phones with access to social media are a firm “no” (most social media apps don’t even allow kids to create accounts until they’re 13 years old anyway). But perhaps, like the smartwatch, you can consider upgrading your child to a phone specifically designed for kids.
You could go the old-school route of getting your preteen a “dumb” phone, but these phones often lack parental controls (and may further invite bullying from friends). And many are still capable of accessing the internet. A better option would be a smartphone with integrated parental controls. Gabb and Bark, for instance, each make phones with that exact purpose in mind. In addition to helping parents monitor content, these sorts of phones come with the ability to block certain websites and apps—meaning you can prevent your kid from accessing social media—and even manage their child’s screen time.
Whatever your decision is, even if that decision is “not yet,” the preteen years are a good time to start having conversations with your kids about their screen time and phone habits. Start teaching them about appropriate online behavior so they’ll be prepared when they encounter the inappropriate sort. And open the door to future conversations so that when they are ready for a phone, it won’t feel like you’re starting from square one.
Teenagers spend an average of nine hours on screens daily. Myriad studies have explored the correlations between so much time staring and pixels and negative mental health outcomes, such as anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. Teens who spend seven or more hours on devices daily, for instance, are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression compared to those who only spend one hour. And 71% of teens increase their risk of suicide if they spend five or more hours per day on screens. Many teens are actually aware of the risks involved, but the fear of missing out (FOMO), addictive social media algorithms, and simple peer pressure keep them engaged with their devices.
With these facts in mind, many parents are inclined to say “no” to cell phones. And I applaud parents who are able to navigate that decision because it’s certainly not an easy one. But if you say “yes” to getting your teen a phone, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed, either.
If you allow your child to have phone at this age, it’s vitally important to help them navigate the responsibility involved. In the early years of adolescence, continuing to monitor your child’s screen time (and the content they access) is probably still a good idea. You can use smartphones designed with kids and teens in mind, or you can set up parental controls on the devices they have. Using these methods as a conversation starter, you can aid your teens in understanding how much time they spend on their devices and the impact it has on their brains.
And since teens are able to set up social media accounts without parental consent, be sure to talk to them about the impact of those ubiquitous apps as well. Teens who spend three or more hours per day on social media double their risk for depression and anxiety. One in three teenagers become victims of cyberbullying through social media platforms. And 82% of online sex crimes start on social media. Show your child how to recognize inappropriate behavior and report it. (Plugged In has tutorials demonstrating some of these parental controls and reporting features available for TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat and X.)
Whatever your decision may be, just remember that as the parent, you are the greatest influencer in your child’s life. Talk to them about the decision to purchase a phone. Demonstrate healthy phone use yourself. Set up boundaries for screen time use. Create no-screen zones in your home to mitigate some of the more negative outcomes of unmonitored phone use. And always ensure your child knows that you love them and just want them to be safe—that if something bad does occur, you’re just a phone call away.
Emily studied film and writing when she was in college. And when she isn’t being way too competitive while playing board games, she enjoys food, sleep, and geeking out with her husband indulging in their “nerdoms,” which is the collective fan cultures of everything they love, such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate and Lord of the Rings.
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