Super mom, and all of her perfection is a complete myth. Being “good enough” in God’s eyes is real.
In the landscape of parenting, the term ‘perfect mother’ is one that echoes often and loudly. However, when subjected to closer examination, its meaning starts to blur. The ideal of the perfect mother is molded by a complex blend of individual experiences, cultural influences, and personal values. The notion of the perfect mother is laced with unrealistic expectations, setting a benchmark that is virtually unattainable.
My son Andrew begged me to come on his field trip and be a parent driver. I calculated that I could work a half day. This would allow me to join my son at school. It would also be one of the few times I could feel like “supermom.”
Unfortunately, when I arrived at Andrew’s school, I was informed that I could not drive. My insurance information was not on file. So rather than driving all of Andrew’s friends to the mining museum, I drove one disappointed son.
The day wore on and the museum tour ended. The children gathered in a warm dark room for a documentary about the lives lost to mining. At some point during the film, the rush of the day caught up with me, and I dozed off.
Apparently, I had a humorous dream and began laughing out loud. Andrew nudged me, and I awoke to his horrified look and the stares of about 200 parents, teachers, and fourth-graders.
In moments like these, I become keenly aware of how inadequate I am as a mom. Even my best efforts never seem to be enough.
Yet, through the fog of self-doubt, I often return to an invaluable concept from grad school: the “good enough mother.” If perfection is elusive, what then are the essentials God desires from me as a mother?
What does it mean to be “good enough” in His eyes?
Contrary to societal expectations, I believe God’s definition of a ‘good enough’ mother hinges on two fundamental principles:
Embodying God’s wisdom begins with seeking it fervently and frequently. It means acknowledging our weaknesses, seeking His guidance in the face of uncertainty, and relying on His wisdom to make sound decisions that will nurture and guide our children.
It means trusting His wisdom over our own, trusting that His plans for our children are far better than anything we could conjure ourselves.
Showing God’s love, on the other hand, entails embodying the characteristics of that love—patience, kindness, protection, trust, hope, perseverance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Our love for our children should be a reflection of His love for us—a love that is steadfast, unconditional, and forgiving. It’s a love that rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
Striving to be a “good enough” mother should not be perceived as conceding to mediocrity. Instead, it is a humble recognition of our human limitations.
This redefined concept of perfection is not a reduction in standards but rather a shift in perspective. It’s acknowledging that the ‘perfect’ mother is not one who never errs, but one who loves deeply, seeks wisdom consistently, and embraces her imperfections.
Striving to be a “good enough” mom isn’t a cop-out.
Instead, it’s an acknowledgement that I can’t be God — all-sufficient, all-knowing and ever-present — to my children. In trying to be “supermom,” I sometimes forget that the Lord has not called me to be perfect, but to faithfully walk in wisdom, love and humility.
And if what I do is good enough for Him, it’s good enough for me.
Dr. Juli Slattery is a clinical psychologist, author and the co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry dedicated to reclaiming God’s design for sexuality. In addition to speaking, she hosts the weekly podcast Java with Juli. In 2020, Juli launched Sexual Discipleship®, an online platform to equip Christian leaders for gospel-centered conversations about sexual issues. Juli served at Focus on the Family from 2008 to 2012 as a writer, teacher and co-host of the Focus on the Family Broadcast. She’s the author of 12 books, including God, Sex, & Your Marriage and Rethinking Sexuality. She and her husband live in Akron, Ohio, and have three grown sons.
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