Before Talking About Sex: Dealing With Our Past
The first step in raising our children to honor their sexuality is to come to terms with our own.
My daughter hit puberty before other girls. What should I do to help her?
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Take time to listen to her worries and insecurities as you enter the conversation. Reassure her that she is normal despite having started her development before her friends. Each girl progresses along her own unique timeline with many contributing factors. Encourage her to continue her usual activities and maintain friendships within her age group even though it may feel awkward.
Talk about God’s design for her as female and remind her that she is a masterpiece of God’s creation. Make sure to have intentional conversations regarding sexuality, friendships, and how to navigate puberty.
Be aware if your daughter is hanging out with kids that are older because she might try to match or mimic her appearance to what’s popular or to what helps her blend in. She may also try to do things that older kids do because she feels more grown up physically. Remember that she is still a child emotionally, socially, and especially how she thinks. Avoid the temptation to give her more freedom than her chronological age would merit.
Above all, be there for her. Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with her on a regular basis to see how she is coping with these changes. Although some studies have raised concerns that early maturing girls are at increased risk for depression, substance use and early sexual behavior, most girls who experience early puberty do just fine psychologically and socially within a healthy home environment.
Puberty is an important step in your daughter’s maturity and growth and requires your patient and intentional guidance along the way. Explore more of our resources to help guide your daughter into these next years of her life.