Who Is Chappell Roan? What Parents Need to Know

Chappell Roan’s hit song “Hot to Go” has been featured prominently in a Target commercial since September:

Whoever puts this brand’s marketing together knows two things: Chappell Roan is possibly the hottest artist on the planet right now (save for Taylor Swift, I suppose). And her music, at first listen, feels like the epitome of fun. This synth-pop extravaganza would have played well in 1982. “Hot to Go” is the purr-fect tune to sell pet accessories. They’re cute. The song’s cute—at least, superficially.

It’s a marketer’s dream.

But when we dig into the combination of Roan’s history, message and influence, parents may not feel quite so dreamy about her.

So, Who Is Chappell Roan?

Who is Chappell Roan, you ask? Here’s the executive summary version for parents and grandparents: Roan is a pop singer whose popularity has soared into the stratosphere this year. Her songs often deal with same-sex relationships, and she’s been outspoken about leaving her Christian upbringing behind her. For some of you reading this profile about her, it might seem like that’s all the information that you need.

But I’d encourage you to press on.

Chappell Roan (whose stage name combines a grandfather’s last name, Chappell, with the last word of his favorite song, “The Strawberry Roan” by Curley Fletcher) unleashed a feel-good, synth-pop vibe that broadly recalls a few other stars  that similarly captivated their respective cultural moments, such as Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Katy Perry, and Lady Gaga. Like each of them, Roan has an instinctive knack for blending a theatrical stage presence (in her case, drag-queen inspired) with extremely catchy songwriting and suggestively provocative sexuality.

And though her popularity has been bubbling under in the music scene for some time now, in the last couple of months she’s gone supernova. The October 2024 issue of Rolling Stone magazine, for instance, featured her with a Barbara Streisand-approved blurb: “A Star Is Born.”

Rolling Stone Magazine – October 2024 Issue
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Needless to say, there’s a bit to unpack here.

The Story of a ‘Midwest Princess’

Roan was born Kayleigh Rose Amstutz in Willard, Missouri, a small town near Springfield, population 6,500. The 26-year-old has spoken at length about growing up in a Christian home, going to church multiple times a week and being taught that homosexuality was a sin. She’s also mentioned the emphasis her family placed on modesty.

Despite her culturally and spiritually conservative roots, the singer told Michigan Daily that she “always felt so out of place in [her] hometown.” An October 2023 profile of her in The Washington Post titled “Chappell Roan doesn’t care if she’s going to hell” detailed “how a drag persona helped ‘Midwestern Princess’ Chappell Roan free herself from a strict Christian upbringing to become a queer pop powerhouse.” (Roan’s 2023 debut album is titled The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess.) In that article, she said, “There’s a special place in my heart for queer kids in the Midwest because I know how they’re feeling, and I know how isolating it can feel.”

In her middle school years, Roan gravitated toward music of Katy Perry, Lady Gaga and Kesha. She was fascinated by their brash personas, and how they were so at odds with her Christian upbringing. After she first encountered the racy video for Lady Gaga’s song “Alejandro,” she said, “I was like: ‘Oh my god, is this porn?’”

By her mid-teens, she was posting covers of songs on YouTube, as myriad kids growing up these days do. But unlike many who aspire to fame, Roan was discovered and signed to Atlantic Records at age 17.

Fast-forward to her late teens, and Roan moved to Los Angeles and begun her transformation into the flamboyant stage character Chappell Roan. She says of her first trip to one of West Hollywood’s gay clubs was a transformative experience, in contrast to the values she’d been raised with. “I grew up thinking being gay was bad and a sin. I went to the gay club once and it was so impactful, like magic. It was the opposite of everything I was taught.”

That experience contributed to the lyrics for one of her early hits, “Pink Pony Club,” a gay dance-club anthem about feeling accepted and embraced in that environment. In the song, she admits that her then-new lifestyle isn’t one that her family is likely to embrace warmly: “Won’t make my mama proud, it’s gonna cause a scene/She sees her baby girl, I know she’s gonna scream/God, what have you done?” Her response? “Oh mama, I’m just having fun/On the stage in my heels/It’s where I belong down at the/Pink Pony Club.”

Meanwhile, Roan’s most recent hit, “Good Luck, Babe!” (you can find Plugged In’s full review here) takes a former female lover to task for choosing romance with guys over her. Roan speculates that this woman, who seems hesitant to fully embrace a lesbian identity, will likely end up married to a man … and miserable: “When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night/With your head in your hands, you’re nothing more than his wife/And when you think about me, all of those years ago/ … You’re standing face to face with ‘I told you so.’”

As for her huge hit “Hot to Go,” a close listen to the song’s lyrics reveal that this track complete with “YMCA”-like dance moves is also all about sex. (Sorry, Target, it’s actually not about cute pets at all.)  

Ruffling Feathers

I certainly can’t say whether or not Chappell Roan truly met Jesus as she was growing up and going to church three times a week. But given the singer’s own testimony about her journey, Roan seems to have left that spiritual part of her story behind. And it seems she’s traded it for acceptance and affirmation in the LGBT community, where she’s quickly reached “gay icon” status among rapidly expanding fan base.

And like the pop stars whose brash personalities captured her attention as a middle schooler, so Chappell Roan is already influencing the next generation of young listeners. Many of them have been attracted to—even captivated by—her own bold fusion of over-the-top personality fused with an unapologetic embrace of all things LGBT.

It’s telling, I think, that she describes dressing up in drag and going dancing at a gay club as “just having fun.” It would seem to communicate that these expressions of her personality aren’t a big deal, and certainly nothing to worry about.

That said, however, Roan also recognizes the alluring attraction of ditching traditional mores when it comes to God and sex. Roan embraces the transgressive appeal of coloring outside the lines. “If it’s not bold, if it’s not ruffling feathers, what’s the point?” she told The Guardian.

Our parental response

Pop stars have been “ruffling” parents’ feathers for generations now. Chappell Roan is but the latest to do so. So how might we respond to an artist such as Chappell Roan if we discover we’ve got a daughter or son who’s listening to her—or curious about her.  Let me offer a few overarching thoughts.

1. Don’t react with excess emotion or judgmental phrases. If we’re caught off guard by discovering we’ve got a child listening to someone like Chappell Roan, it’s easy to respond reactively and emotionally. We might impulsively blurt out something like, “We’re not going to listen to that garbage. It’s the opposite of everything we believe.” Now, it very well may be that your family can and should decide to avoid an artist like Roan. But unleashing an outburst of emotion and condemnation can result in a huge collateral damage crater in your son or daughter’s life. (I know, because I’ve made that mistake once or twice as a parent.)  
   
   Kids often identify deeply with their favorite musicians—which is exactly why this is such an important conversation to have. (More on that in a moment.) But when we fly off the handle, our kids can easily internalize what they hear by thinking that their tastes are garbage, or worse: that they themselves are. Using harsh, condemning language, especially when paired with volume and emotion, is a recipe virtually guaranteed to inflict shame upon a tween or teen—whether intended or not.
   
   And that shame will almost immediately lead to them believing that they’ve got to hide their interests from you rather than talking openly about them. Instead—even though this isn’t our natural inclination—keep calm and keep the doors of conversation and relationship open: “It sounds like there are some things going on in that song that I’m not sure are in line with our family’s values. I’m going to do a bit of homework, and I’d like to keep talking with you about it.”
   
2. Take some time to do your research and ask the basic question, “What’s the appeal here?” In Chappell Roan’s case, I’d encourage you to listen to “Hot to Go.” Watch the video. Do a search for “Hot to Go” lyrics. Then spend some time thinking through them. What’s she singing about here? What messages is she sending about relationship and sexuality? Doing that “homework” as I called it above gives you credibility when it’s time to return to the conversation, and it’ll equip you with some questions to ask.
   
   I should also note at this point that the approach I’m describing here is one I’d suggest for kids in their teen years. If we’re talking about much younger children who’ve found this song somehow, the conversation is shorter and more to the point: “That song isn’t appropriate for our family.” As your kids move into their teen years, though, the dialogue needs to shift from that firm “No” to a genuine conversation about the issues involved with a song or artist like this one. We want to equip our kids to do this thinking on their own by the time they leave our homes, and that will require a transition from a hard “No” to practicing discernment in dialogue together … and gradually granting them freedom to make those listening decisions themselves.
   
3. Be honest about your own response. So I’m going to do that here: I kind of like the “beat” of “Hot to Go.” It’s an undeniably catchy song. And if we can share some positive thoughts about  a song or an artist that we have concerns about, it builds our credibility with our kids—and keep those doors of communication open. We’re not just “haters” who say no to everything reflexively. If I can say, “You know, I listened to this song and looked at the lyrics, and I’ve got some concerns about them. But I can see why you might want to listen. Let’s talk about that some more, and talk about why we might want to pass on this song or artist in our family.”
   
   On the flip side, if something you’re son or daughter is listening to makes you scratch your head in perplexity, be honest about that, too. My son loves metalcore, which involves gravelly, screamed vocals. I like metal, but I just don’t get that “vocal” approach to things. But I’ve tried to give him space to tell me why he likes it … even if I don’t—and I’m never going to—get it.
   
   
4. Ask your kids what they connect with regarding a given artist or song. As I mentioned above, this is hugely important. Chappell Roan herself admits that she listened to Lady Gaga and Katy Perry, and that there was apparently a transgressive thrill in doing so. And when she sings about disappointing her mom by going to a gay club, it may suggest a relationship that was already strained. I don’t know anything about how Roan relates to her parents. But if I had to guess, the singer might’ve grown up  in an environment in which rules were more important than relationships.
   
   We want to cultivate a family culture where our kids can be who they are and tell us the truth about their interests, even if we don’t share them. Their answers may be quite sophisticated or as simple as, “I like the dance moves to this song that I saw on TikTok.” It’s important to give them space to tell you what they like without immediately critiquing their logic, taste or motives if we want to continue to influence their convictions in this area.
    
5. Begin to compare and contrast a song or artists messages with your spiritual convictions as a Christian family. At this point, we can begin to ask some questions that reveal the distance between an artist’s values, worldview, behavior, and a biblical perspective. Those might be questions like: How would you describe Chappell Roan’s perspective on sex? How does that compare with what we see in Scripture?
   
   And let me just camp for a moment on the subject of sexuality. Mainstream culture has largely jettisoned the notion that a personal relationship with God can fill and fulfill our deepest needs. But those needs still exist, and many people choose to try to fill that longing for intimacy and transcendence through sexual experience and identity. I think we’re seeing that, especially, with Chappell Roan—among so many other artists and creatives in our culture. Because of that, our conversations with our children about sexuality aren’t likely to be a “one and done” talk, as might have been the case back in the “good-old days.” Instead, it needs to be an ongoing discussion.
   
   Our culture is going to keep having that talk, and we need to be talking as well about God’s purposes, design and intent for healthy sexual identity and expression in the covenantal context of a marriage between a man and a woman.

Our Family’s Story

So what about us, you’re asking? OK, here’s our story.

A couple of months ago, I could hear my daughters in their bedroom giggling uncontrollably. Wondering what the commotion was, I pushed the door open. Only to find them working on the dance moves for “Hot to Go.” Like “YMCA” so very many decades ago now, the moves mostly involve spelling out the letters of the chorus with your arms.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “The dance moves for ‘Hot to Go,’” they said—perhaps not expecting me to push the matter further. But I did. “Where did you learn the moves?” Well, everyone is posting TikTok videos of them,” they replied.

“OK,” said, leaving them to their dance moves with a sigh of relief.

I wasn’t done. Instead, I listened to the song myself and watched the video. Which, quite sweetly involves (among other things) Chappell Roan teaching her grandparents the dance. (Though I couldn’t help but wonder if her grandparents really understand what their granddaughter is actually singing about.) And as I mentioned above, I have to confess, this is an infectious ear-worm of a song, the kind you find yourself unconsciously humming along sometime after listening to it.

I didn’t have to listen long, though, before some racy lyrics popped up, at which point I realized that the track is all about anticipating a sexual encounter. And that has led to a deeper, ongoing conversation about this artist with my daughters.

Balancing freedom and guidance

I’ll spare you the further play by play in our dialogue, other than to say this. My daughters are in their mid-teens. My wife and I are giving them increasing freedom to make their musical decisions. But that’s with an important caveat: We’re going to talk about the songs that they listen to. We’re going to ask them to pay attention to the lyrics, ideas, and worldviews, and then we’re going to talk about them together. They’re used to me asking, “What do you think about this song? How do you think her point of view compares to what we believe? Let’s talk about that.”

Our goal in this approach is to give our daughters freedom to make their choices even as we work to help them think critically and biblically about what those choices are. And now when Chappell Roan pops up, I might even say, “Man, I really like this song musically. It’s so catchy. But I wish it wasn’t so sexual. Why don’t we pick something else on your playlist.”

And usually, instead of complaining or digging their heels in angrily, they’ll grudgingly admit, “Yeah, you’re probably right,” and choose something else.