There are many fibers that make up the fabrics and, ultimately, the tapestry that is a family. These fabrics range from conflict and disagreements all the way to love, joy, and countless blessings. An additional thread in this ever-changing dynamic is the fiber of adoption.
Myth #1: Adoption Isn't As Right A Bond As The Biological
Family is a God-given and God-ordained institution that needs to be respected, loved, and understood. Families are made up of biological and non-biological members. Marriage is the first step in the curation of a non-biological family. The husband and wife are not related by blood. However, they become one unit, and thus, a family, through a God-blessed union. A union containing anointed love and guidance that transcends humans’ comprehension. Subsequently, the first fabric in this newly formed family is the topic of children. Whether this be from adoption or conception, the idea is always there.
There are a plethora of common myths surrounding adoption. One myth that is frequently referenced is the lack of connection between adopted children and their adopted parents. This is simply not true.
Firstly, it does not make sense that parents would adopt children when they do not want children. That is illogical. Furthermore, adoption agencies have systems in place to ensure that children will be placed in the right homes. They make sure the parents encourage and propagate a life full of love. The children are allowed to thrive, regardless of their biological status.
Christian Adoptions Alliance presents a wonderful in-depth look into the adoption process. This information provides certainty that children will be placed with parents who will love them with all their hearts.
The ensuing result of this vetting process is the adopted child feeling a warm and positive reception to their own adoption. This creates an equal and reciprocal bond of love between the parents and their child. The parents shower their child with love and care, creating a bond between them that transcends words.
The Proof Is In The Numbers
This graph displays the overall satisfaction of parents and their children after adoption. This graph includes children adopted from the foster care system, as well as international adoption.
To say there is not a bond between adopted children and their parents is inherently wrong. Over 80% of parents were “NOT aggravated” with their adoption. This includes International Adoption, Foster Care, and Private Domestic Adoption. 75% of parents reported the relationship with their child to be “very warm and close”, again, spanning all three categories. In the middle two sections of the graph, the parent-child relationship was “better than ever expected.” Finally, having a child in the parent’s life was “better than ever expected” too.
Adopted children and their parents are filled with love and joy, because it helps all parties involved. Adoption is a good thing and should be the only alternative to an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. It allows for a child to remain alive, thrive, and be loved. It also fulfills parents’ desire to have a child but cannot on their own. Making the choice for adoption helps many more people than perceived, and it is a good thing.
Myth #2: No One Is Adopting The Kids Who Are Here!
There has been a surplus of superficial myths encouraging women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy to choose termination. Consequently, the number of abortions–and vehement dialogues surrounding the issue–have increased over the past couple of years. There is a worry that the child will remain in the adoption system for years and essentially grow up homeless.
This is false.
Children in adoption agencies, as well as foster care systems, are being adopted at a staggering rate. In fact, they are being returned to their biological parents, and even being adopted by their placements homes.
In the FY 2020, there were approximately 117,000 children awaiting adoption. A “child awaiting adoption” is as a child whose parental rights have been terminated. And/or children with a case plan goal of adoption. Of these 117,000 children, approximately 57,000 of them were adopted. Nearly half of children waiting for adoption are indeed adopted. This trend continues in 2021 (47%) and in 2022 (49%). This yearly trend is statistically significant. It shows the astonishing frequency in which “children awaiting adoption” are, in fact, being adopted.
Furthermore, the number of children exiting the foster care system in 2022 was approximately 201,000. 46% were reunited with their families, 27% were adopted, and 11% were placed into stable and reliable guardianships. 87% in total were cared for and placed into stable homes with loving and caring parents or guardians. Children have the best chance at a good life, when given the right to life. Adoption is a good thing.
The value and precious nature of children has no bounds. There are no characteristics that separate one child from another because all life matters.
Myth #3: Most Foster Children Are Black & Nobody Is Adopting Them
Another myth that is wrongfully perpetuated is the racial discrepancy between children in adoption and foster care agencies. It’s a common narrative that children of color are disproportionally represented in foster care centers than those of Caucasian descent. This is false. First and foremost, it is of the utmost importance to emphasize the value of all children. All people should be characterized first by their nature. Their nature is a child of God, loved dearly and made in the image of Him. Not by the color of their skin.
In 2022, the percentage of children of color awaiting adoption was similar to the percentage of those in foster care. In essence, foster care and adoption had the same number of races in each agency.
This image displays the statistics of approximately 108,000 children awaiting adoption in 2022. 43%, or 46,000 children were white. 23%, or 24,000 were Hispanic. 21%, or 22,000 were Black. 9%, or 9,000 were considered multicultural. Furthermore, 52% of the children were male and 48% were female. The representation of racial diversity for children in foster care is clear. When looking at the adoption rates of these children, there is a similar trait.
The assumption of “racism” as it pertains to the adoption of children is superficial. The percentage of Black children adopted from foster care was lower than the percentage of those currently in foster care. (16% down from 21%.) So was the Hispanic adoption rate. (20% down from 23%). The white children were adopted at higher rates, (51% up from 43%). However, this is explainable due to some extraneous factors, such as lack of kinship, poverty, and/or neglect.
A Generational Issue
In 2020, Black children were most likely to live in a household without two married parents. Consequently, it’s more difficult to reunite Black children with their parents if one of them is gone. This is one of the main reason Black children are adopted out of foster care centers at a lower rate. Black children are not being intentionally targeted or excluded from the adoption processes. This is simply the consequence of an unfortunate and indescribable phenomenon that has become systemic in nature. And innocent children are left to deal with the consequences.
Again, this graph indicates the discrepancy between the races of children and their parents’ presence in their lives. A total of 58% of Black children experience a home with either a mother only, father only, or no parents. Comparatively, white children experience only 20% of the same types of homes. The numbers are lower for Asians and Hispanics as well, (32% for Hispanic and 9% for Asian). This discrepancy explains why the adoption rate of Black children in Foster Care centers is what it is. It dissolves the myth that Black children are adopted less.
This myth is based on racist viewpoints with the divisive purpose of causing discord among people who are considering adoption.
Make The Right Choice
If you have found yourself in an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy, it’s okay. But please do not let false narratives influence the decision to give the child a life for adoption.
Regardless of their race, ethnicity, or gender, they are a person who is loved and cared for. They deserve the right to life. Someone will find them, love them, and adopt them. Because adoption is a good thing. A child must first be given life, to be given into adoption.
These are only a few of the many myths that surround adoption in families. However, there is one thing that reigns supreme throughout all of these. The sovereign and loving gift from God: children. The fibers which make up the tapestry of family have been laid out. Finally, the myths that surround adoption can be put down and children can be picked up.
