I watched a real abortion procedure video. The video was only a few minutes long, a compilation of abortions performed at different stages of pregnancy. There’s a lot of things that go through your mind when you watch a real abortion — weird things.
How to Grow a Human
Before writing this article, I started reading a gripping and oddly related book titled, How to Grow a Human. In short, this book logs the true experience of a man who let scientists take cells from his arm and turn them into a mini-brain. That’s how far science has come; we can now make brains out of our arms.
The author didn’t feel bad that someone made a brain from his arm. He didn’t develop any fatherly instincts or a conviction to pay child support. His arm-brain was only sort-of-human, a little bit of a human, not human enough to be considered a whole being. Additionally, he mentioned that it’s still a mystery when a preborn passes the threshold from human-ish, a little bit of human, to human.
While the science community can hold endless discussions on when a human becomes human, in most cases, it’s relatively easy for one human to recognize another. For example, although Sophia, the revolutionary human-like robot from Hanson Robotics, is human-like, we know from looking at her that she is not a human. One glance and our brains tell us, “That’s not one of us.” The same can be said when we look into the eyes of animals. They are living, but not one of our own.
Should You Watch and Abortion Video
Dr. Anthony Levatino discusses the tragedy that led to his leaving the abortion industry.
Dr. Kathi Aultman, a former abortionist, discusses why she left the abortion industry.
The preborn babies I watched being aborted were more than human-ish, even in their early weeks. So evident that it stings, they were tiny humans. Each successful abortion ended along with their life. If that thought alone is too difficult to process, then please, stop reading this article. There are plenty of resources to understand abortion without seeing one or hearing the account of someone who has watched one.
These resources don’t describe the ugliness I saw. I’ll try to avoid graphic imagery as I describe what one see’s during the real abortion video. However, that’s easier said than done. The whole process is grim and confusing. Watching a real abortion is a trauma all its own.
Alternatives to Watching a Real Abortion Video:
Babies in the Abortion Procedure Video
I’ve seen ultrasounds of children even younger than those aborted in the video. The earliest ultrasound I’ve seen was a pregnancy at five weeks. This is the point of pregnancy when the baby is referred to by some as “pregnancy tissue” rather than a “fetus.”
On the crooked and faulty scale of “human enough,” these 5-week-ers fall far below being an actual baby. However, most of the world doesn’t know that, at five weeks, a preborn baby can be caught on an ultrasound doing what some sonographers call the “Jelly Bean Dance.” On these early ultrasounds, you’ll find a small, frog-shaped bundle of baby wiggling and bopping around in the womb. The most amazing sight is the baby’s fluttering heart.
4D Ultasounds of older babies in the womb.
"My mother wasn't a monster, but a victim, as was I. She fell for the lie that abortion is healthcare."
I first witnessed this sight displayed on a 12ft screen in a darkly lit ballroom. It was like that moment in the nature documentary when they zoom in on slow-motion footage of a hummingbird, hovering over flowers. Or when you first witness fireflies glittering to life in an empty, moonlit field. Your mouth drops open and a dumbfounded, “Wow!” falls out. It’s an appropriate reaction to the revelation of finding intricate and miraculous life in unexpected places.
A Victim the Size of My Niece
The abortion video displayed the abortion of babies further along in gestation. I know what it’s like to hold a baby the size of some of those being aborted.
My niece, Lane, was born super small. Despite her size, she was a force when she came barreling out into the world. She refused to nap or sit down. Before she could stand on her own, she’d cry to be held so that someone could hold her upright. I’ve never been a “baby” person, but holding Lane — well, trying to — was always engaging. There was a world to be seen, and she was determined to be the one to see it. Watching Lane, in all her fury, made me proud to be her aunt, albeit an exhausted babysitter. It’s little girls like her who become the Joan of Arcs and Amelia Earharts. It’s the “though she be but little, she is fierce,” ones who are courageous enough to break and reset all the ill-grown bones of the world.
I watched the way the baby, the aborted one, moved. Perhaps, a few seconds prior, she had been like Lane. Not anymore.
Something in my brain said her body shouldn’t hang like that. Even if her eyes are closed, her lips should be moving slightly. Her little chest should be lifting up and down. Someone should be holding her with her head resting in the crook of their arm. But where is the rest of her? How can this be real? Surely, it isn’t.
But the broken little girl was real. She was alive, and then she wasn’t. Evidently, there was a doctor there, but he wasn’t worried about her. No abortionist goes in saying, “I hope I save this baby,” because that’s not the goal of an abortion.
Weird Thoughts While Watching an Abortion
Then, weird thoughts came flooding in. Clearly, there was a lifeless baby on the screen, but I couldn’t help but see a parade of grown women. Politicians, specifically. There they were, trotting confidently in their Planned Parenthood-pink shoes.
This is what they’re fighting for, I thought, someone’s right to do this to someone else.
Not to their own body, but someone else’s — all the little Lanes.
Those pink high heels. They stand for women’s rights, mine and the woman in the heels — our rights. But not her’s. Not Lane’s. Which is unsettling because, compared to the helpless, lifeless little girl on the screen, hanging as she shouldn’t be; compared to her, we feel too big. We take up too much space, and there’s no room left for her.
The pink shoes are supposed to represent the fight for women’s rights, for equality. However, recent studies on why women seek abortions show that about 40% of women do so for financial reasons. That means that the majority of little girls who lose their lives to choice are poor. Abortion, as an industry, preys on the less fortunate. Yet, we dress up in our best shoes in its honor. That’s a hard concept to wrap my mind around, even now. After all, isn’t the fight for equality about defending the weak and oppressed?
Most Will Never Watch an Abortion Video
Then, another weird thought emerged. I realized that, by watching a real abortion video, I was suddenly more informed about the abortion procedure than most women getting them.
Most women who seek abortions will never watch one, not even the educational videos that depict the procedure without the messiness. In the same way, many of these women don’t know about the “Jelly Bean Dance,” or the heart that flutters like a hummingbird. Instead, they’re surrounded by people who believe that holding them back from experiencing the slack-jawed “Wow!” of an ultrasound will hurt them. It would never be said of a heart transplant or a tummy-tuck, but somehow, with abortion, sharing the truth is a dangerous act.
I recalled the articles of women who have written on how viewing an ultrasound before their abortion was painful. They argued that it was cruel. With a broken heart I thought, Their pain makes sense. Choosing to take someone’s life is a big deal. It shouldn’t be anything less, no matter the circumstance.
Just Google It
A short Google search reveals what most women are told about abortion. The information given by prominent abortion providers suggests that most women don’t know the reality of abortion.
- “A doctor or nurse uses medical instruments and gentle suction to remove the pregnancy from your uterus.” — Planned Parenthood
- “After your cervix is properly dilated, the abortion provider will use suction and some tools to gently empty your uterus.” — Abortion Finder
- “It’s normal to feel chills, nausea or even have diarrhea along with bleeding and cramping while your body is pushing the pregnancy from your uterus.” — CaraFem
What they don’t say is anything that I saw in the video. There’s no mention that, when all is said and done, several feet away, just out of sight of every woman, will be a lifeless child.
Should Women Watch a Real Abortion Procedure Video?
Finally, the abortionist began wrapping up the procedure. Even so, my thoughts only seem to be unraveling into a thicker, tangled mess. I think of angry comments I’ve heard in church or read on social media:
“Every woman should be required to watch one of these videos!”
Having watched one, I can’t say that I agree. However, I don’t not agree.
I think about the words of close friends who have had abortions. Some of them had an abortion because their own lives were in danger. Alternatively, some were pro-choice and equated it to contraception, at the time.
“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done.”
“I didn’t know any better.”
“We were terrified.”
“I still wonder…”
“It still hurts.”
“No one told me…”
“I disconnect. I have to.”
Lindsay Christensen and Laurie Haynes discuss finding forgiveness and healing after abortion.
Then there are the inscriptions you find on memorials for the preborn. Two years ago, while working on a documentary about pregnancy loss, I searched one memorial’s walls for these messages. Sometimes, you can tell when the baby went via choice. Their mothers leave inscriptions to their babies like:
“I’m sorry.”
“Pray for me.”
I picture those women when I try to decipher what I’d say to each of them, if given the chance.
Women Who've Had Abortions
Speaking to the woman who’s already had an abortion is the easiest. After all, I’m familiar with Romans 8:39 and how God’s heart for us is to be whole and whole in Him.
To the woman who chose abortion I’d say:
“Chase healing, whatever it takes.”
“It’s okay to have regrets. But don’t stay there. Be repentant enough to find grace, forgive (yourself included) and walk boldly in that forgiveness.”
It’s my whole-hearted belief that women shouldn’t have to count the broken Lanes before receiving healing and, finally, find rest. That’s a Biblical concept (Matthew 11:28-29).
But to the women considering abortion for the first time, my thoughts are complicated. Do I tell her what I saw? The US abortion counters have just ticked over 63 million. That’s a lot of Lanes.
Women Looking for Abortions
I try to conjugate what I would say to a woman facing the abortion decision. She shouldn’t have to see the tragic passing of children to make an educated choice. But sometimes, even the most rational thoughts can be clouded by fear. What would I say to her?
“Just breathe. No rush. You have time to think this through.”
This would be a great start, but they don’t feel like they’re enough. Abortion, for any reason, is a steep cliff to tumble from. All the words I think of are neither frantic enough nor comforting enough for someone standing on that ledge with voices cheering and scoffing on either side.
“Never mind what everyone else says. If you need to talk, I can listen.”
Those Who Celebrate Abortion
But the biggest thing I want to say isn’t to the women who are facing the abortion decision. My mind is fixated on the images of the pop-culture defense of abortion. It’s the politician with the pink shoes, it’s the celebrity licking the bright pink cake that says, “Abortion is Healthcare.”
Those peppy shoes, that sprinkle-trimmed cake — I can’t get those out of my mind. They’re right there, front and center in my brain. They stand, faces projected with a flickering, looping reel of danceless children from the abortion video.
“Have you seen this?” That’s what I’d ask them, “Did you know about this? I understand that it involves your body and you’ll be making the choice…”
“…but have you seen this?”
I know they haven’t. Although I’ve never tried, I’m sure it’d be hard to stomach cake while watching a real abortion.
The End
Finally, the video ended. I sat back, a little raw and bitter.
It’s safe for everyone to come out now, prancing in their pink shoes, licking pink frosting. It’s time to celebrate women’s rights!
Unfortunately, there are millions of little girls who haven’t been invited to that party. And, tragically, there are millions of women who have no idea.
If you’re one of the latter, there’s no judgment here, rather a suggestion. If you haven’t seen what you’re fighting for, why not take the time to investigate it? There’s a wealth of science-based resources to help you advocate for not only yourself but for all women.
Furthermore, if you find yourself asking what more you can do or say to reach that woman on the ledge, there are opportunities for you as well.
Becoming the arms that can hold both the woman on the ledge and all the little Lanes of the world isn’t difficult. But it can be painful. The reality that 63 million lives have slipped from society, barely noticed, is a heavy truth to carry. Thankfully, when we participate in pro-life efforts, we join a powerful community of compassionate and diverse advocates.
The pro-life movement is comprised of strong men, women, children, students, former abortion workers, human rights activists and more. And, just as for all the little Lanes of the world, we have room for you. Welcome.
Abortion Videos & More:
More Information About Abortion:
- Unplanned (book)
- Faces of Choice (video series)
- Lile (OB/GYN) (blog)
About Alternatives to Abortion:
- My Choice Network – Pregnancy Options
- Alternatives to Abortion: Pregnancy Resource Centers
- Open vs. Closed Adoption, A Birth Mom’s Advice
