What kind of standards of conduct and behavior should parents impose upon an adult child living in their home? Our single 29-year-old daughter lives with us in separate quarters off of the main house. She knows how deeply we feel about marriage as the only appropriate context for sexual expression, but she’s made a habit …
Ages 19+ (Adult Children) Q&A
How do I know when it’s time to ask my adult child to leave?
Now that our son is over 18, should he still obey us?
How do we deal with an adult child who has no job, is living in our basement, and drawing heavily on our financial resources? My husband and I can’t agree on the best way to handle this situation, and it’s becoming a real strain on our relationship. What should we do?
Is it normal for married adult children to become disconnected from their parents? There’s a coldness, distance, and separation that’s crept into my relationship with my adult daughter, and I think her spouse may have something to do with it. What have I done wrong? How do I show my concern and let her know …
As a parent and grandparent, should I step in to help if I feel that my son-in-law is not caring properly for my daughter and my grandchildren? What makes this especially difficult is that his actions (or lack thereof) could put his family’s safety at risk. For example, he constantly forgets to put oil in …
Should we provide financial assistance to our middle-aged adult children? Our son-in-law just lost his job. He’s always made a good living but has struggled with serious health issues that have placed a burden on their finances. Our daughter has never once offered to help with their income by seeking work of any kind. I’m …
Are we right to be worried about our daughter’s decision to move in with her boyfriend? When we found out she that she was living with him, we told her we felt it was immoral. She said our values were “old fashioned” and argued that living together is the best way to test a couple’s …
How should we parent a grown child when there are also two younger children in the home? We have three kids altogether: a boy and a girl who are still in high school, and an older son in his mid-20s. The oldest has had some tough luck recently and needs to move back home for …
Before we agree to allow our adult child to move back in with us, are there some key things we ought to consider or any safeguards we need to put in place? Our thirty-year-old daughter has just completed drug rehab and we’re giving careful thought to the option of letting her come back home until …
How can we help our grown son choose better girlfriends? He’s still living with us, and we’re anxious to see him “grow up,” move out on his own and get married. He’s brought several girls home to meet us over the past few years, but so far he’s shown very poor judgment and we haven’t …
How can we best relate to our grown child who has completely rejected his Christian faith and upbringing? After graduating from high school he moved in with his girlfriend and became involved with drug and alcohol abuse. Our hearts ache to reach out to him, but we don’t want to appear to be condoning his …
How can I convince my adult son that matrimony is valuable and worthwhile when his own parents couldn’t make it work? My ex-spouse and I split up when my children were still small, and I thought it was all water under the bridge. Now I find that my son blames me and his dad for …
How do we relate to an adult child in prison? It’s painful to admit this, but through a series of unfortunate circumstances and poor choices, our grown son has been incarcerated. I can’t even begin to describe how horrible we feel. How can we reach out and support him without enabling or appearing to condone …
Should we allow our unmarried adult daughter to share a room with her boyfriend in our house? She lives out of town, and she plans to bring this man home with her for Christmas. To our disappointment, they have been sexually active for some time, and I know they’ll expect to sleep in the same …
What can we do to encourage our adult son to grow up? He’s made some very poor choices in terms of lifestyle, jobs, living arrangements, and friends. After raising him in the Christian faith, we’re deeply disappointed. At the same time we can’t help feeling guilty and wondering where we went wrong. Is there anything …
What should we say to our children about the suicide of my father-in-law (their grandfather)? It happened about four years ago. At the time our kids were very young and my wife and I simply told them that Grandpa died because he was sick and elderly without providing any further details. Our two oldest are …
How can I help my grown-up son who is in an unhappy marriage after living with his wife for several years prior to the wedding? It’s a difficult and complicated situation, and lately he’s been talking about getting a divorce. Is there any way I can reach out to this young couple?
Do you think it’s a good idea for our son to wait a year after graduating from high school before enrolling at the university? He’s very responsible in a number of ways, but we’re concerned about him losing momentum. What should we do?
Should we force our 18-year-old son to worship with us? He’s a Christian but recently decided to stop going to church. Since he lives in our home and we still support him, we think he should follow the rules we establish. But we don’t want to drive him away from the Lord.
